To catch a man To keep a man
by Firenope
Summary: Ac203 - Seven years after The Split Up. Duo still lives with Hilde. Trowa has become a happy uncle. Quatre and Relena own the world. Wufei is as pissy as possible. Zech and Noin have adorable twins. And they all gather once a year, to celebrate Christmas and peace. All minus one. Until... Hilde wants children, Trowa wants Duo, Duo doesn't know what he wants. And Heero came back.
1. Chapter 1

**Duo Maxwel - AC 203 Late December**

* * *

Duo let his fingernails rack against the handrail, barely refraining from looking up his watch again. He knew it was superfluous. He knew he had checked the time seconds ago.

His purplish eyes were scanning the moving landscape, counting down the streets. Two down his destination; he heaved the hand bag over his shoulder and tapped lightly at the driver's window.

The mini-shuttle drew to a stop and the door swished open to let the young man hop out.

_ Thanks buddy! I owe you one." Duo waved warmly at the old man behind the wheel of the battered colony bus and hurriedly took off. The driver had been kind enough to make a small detour between two stops to drop him a couple streets down his place so the jog home was pretty short.

He was still way too late and would have to forego the long awaited full shower. His itchy scalp would have to wait a little while. Shit.

_ I hate those Terrans!" He yelled as greetings while dropping his bag near the front door and taking in the view provided by their living space; three gutted suitcases each half-full with different kind of clothes: one for the formal suits for the cocktail's party and Christmas Eve, one for the hiking gears and the last for the casual stuff, spread around a very fine ass bend over a stack of shoes.

The display dulled a bit as the short brunet in the living room straightened up and turned around, two pair of shoes in hands.

_ In less than eight hours, the twins dangling from each of your arms, you will love Terrans again.

A chuckle and a welcoming kiss later. Duo was relaxing in a warm embrace, his annoyance melting away.

_ Technically, they are Martians. And we're not even sure Merquise and family will make it back this year. They haven't since Millie and Luc learnt to walk.

He let his hands wander under the clingy shirt and onto warm skin. After the disastrous meeting he just finally escaped, he wanted some quick angry sex. Just wasn't sure how welcome it would be. Or if they had time for that right now.

_ They will. Relena confirmed it yesterday. So… which pair should I take?

The warm body slipped from between his arms and offered the two pair of shoes to his attention. So long for sex…

Disgruntled, he still indicated his preference and toed his own shoes off. No time for a shower, but he would freshen up before launching into packing and run to the shuttle port for a too long trip down to Earth.

_ Cheer up Duo, you're on holiday for a fortnight. No more pompous ass to kiss, no more queen bitch jealous of your incredible hair.

He lowered his gaze as he stripped on his way to the bathroom.

_ I know a way you could cheer me up nicely.

Hm… He loved that chuckle. Low and throaty. Sex it would be.

Hilde's thong was already dangling from the tip of her toes and was tossed somewhere under a couch before Duo reached the bathroom. She followed him in and tauntingly spread on the washing machine, her short skirt no longer hiding anything of her most female features.

Duo let his fingers dig in the soft flesh of her tights, her hands on his shoulders and welcomed the warmth and the rush.

* * *

Duo let himself drop on the seat with a relieved huff. The packing had been quite rushed after the interlude and the detour the cab had to make when the main road had been blocked for the irrigation system repairs made them almost miss the take off.

_ We must have forgotten half the things we'll need down there." Hilde grumbled tiredly.

Duo took her hand and laced their fingers together. She had come home before him, but it didn't mean she had been idle all day either.

_ Yanno, Sank might be a tad uncivilized, but I'm pretty sure they have shops to suit your tastes.

The woman who had shared his life for most of the last nine years laughed and punched his shoulder playfully. "Idiot".

He let her untangle their hand to make herself comfortable on the shoulder she had just mistreated to nap on. Duo reclined his own seat a bit and let the hum of the engines lull his to a relaxed state of half sleep. He couldn't see Earth from their side of the space-shuttle but the moon was quite visible.

Now that she was no longer an army facility, but slowly growing with green domes of off-Earth farming, she did look less of a cemetery than she used to. Still, the memories were unpleasant.

Well… not _all_ of them. But the few that were _not_ reminded him too much of the one person he knew wouldn't be there. Who hadn't been to their yearly gathering since the first one, and hadn't been seen at all after the Mariemaya incident.

Duo let his eyes shut, shielding him from the disheartening view. Better focus on what he had than delve on the loses and misunderstandings.

He had a job he loved, most of the time, and a wonderful woman sharing his life.

After taking OZ down, they more or less all stuck together, helping with the founding of the new order. There had been so much to do. Then Mariemaya happened and the darkness had dampened all of their youthful hope that everything would be all right from then, forever. At least for a few generations. It took one year. The conflict had been promptly dealt with, but the setback it begat…

It tore them apart. Zech and Noin went to Mars. Wufei, as atonement for his treason and siding with the instigator of the original Operation Meteor, enlisted the Preventers and spent the next four years tracking down and destroying any left MS facility or stash with Sally Po. He was still a Preventer as far as Duo knew.

Quatre decided that his own atonement would be through rebuilding the colonies and repairing the damages from years of neglect from Earth followed by the war itself. Trowa went back to the family he found with the circus, Relena to being a high ranking official. Heero fell off the grid overnight soon after.

Duo went back to Hilde and they reopened the salvage. It was working so-so, mostly kept-up because there was so much to repair and too little money to buy anew. So Duo decided to use some spare time to craft his own mini Gundams, waist size, remotely controlled. He couldn't help, he missed his buddy. After he got the first five (the originals), he included some automated code to the upgraded ones, more like automatons than puppets. Howard found out and urged Duo to do more of them. Well… dolls, working just as well, but with none of the war reminders that was MS skin.

It had been a brilliant idea and kids loved them. And even adults too. It was all good and well, until Some guy from North America brought one home. He spread the word around, brought more customers to Duo, and now Duster company had approached him for a contract of more dolls than he could make, in less time he would need to make them good. He didn't really mind commands and custom orders, but his business was hand-craft and he wouldn't have it any other way. They were angling for more serried stuff.

From there, the discussion had quickly turned sour and sterile. Hence his tardiness and lassitude.

As his side, Hilde sighted and settled a bit more comfortably against his shoulder.

True, they had the weirdest relationship. But it worked, mostly. They found their balance and were moving forward. They've lived together since they met and knew their way around each other. They knew how to tip-toe around the land mine of their (mostly his, alright) war induced scars and all. When to push, when to let go. When to sex out the gloom.

The sex was great; funny and uncomplicated.

He loved her, dearly. She was his best friend and long-time partner.

Sometimes they split up; when she was fed off waiting for him to take a step up and actually commit, she would find a boyfriend. She always came back. It was difficult to find someone who understood what they've been through. And to get that, even now, she was tough as nails and loved her job as a security agent. Not a little flower crushed by the war who needed coddling. Despite the scars.

Most guys, even former soldiers, felt both awed by her having been a soldier (and a MS pilot) and threatened that she still carried a gun. Could kick their ass with one hand, the other holding her beer. He was simply glad he had someone by his side who could watch his back. Not that it was any longer needed, but habits die hard.

_ Love you babe." He whispered and kissed her forehead.

She was his home, and he wasn't ready to lose her.

A little while later, she woke up and asked how long they still had. Upon learning there was still a couple hours left before landing; she got up to the end of the shuttle, her nails grazing Duo's upper arm with a wink. He waited all of forty seconds before taking her up on the offer, then taking her in the shuttle's closet, slowly. They had two hours to kill after all and it would hurt no one.

Definitely not ready.

* * *

**Trowa Barton - AC 195**

* * *

He had no real reason to pick-up the fallen pilot. Really, he didn't know him, nor his motivations. Except for the fact that the only time they met in battle, 01 had straight picked-up a fight with the Tallgese pilot and let him to fend of the flocks of Leos by himself. That nearly ended up poorly.

And the lithe boy had made a lot of damages to their cause when hastily destroying that ship and ending up killing the Marchal Noventa. OZ wouldn't have been anywhere this far, taken over the Alliance that easily, if not for the man's death.

They were fighting for the Colonies. But the reason he had killed Trowa Barton was mostly to protect Earth, and the two scientist he was threatening at the time. Now, after that stunt, they had become mere terrorists. Easy prey to any discredit campaign OZ would want to send their way.

So why did he bother to save a suicidal hothead with not a thread of common sense? One single reason; he was a fellow pilot. Unreasonable and reckless, still a fellow pilot fighting for the colonies. And he had lost too many of his comrades to let another to die if he could help. Even a stupid one.

So he took the boy as securely as he could and headed back to the only place he felt safe enough: the Circus. Why had he felt drawn tot that place in first, he'll probably never know. It didn't exactly matter. It was a fact he wouldn't overlook, nor one he wanted to delve into.

It had been almost a month ago.

A month tending the other's prone body, not knowing when he would wake up again. Nor if he would, especially in the first few days where the injuries were … what you could expect when taking the full blast of a self-destruct Gundam MS. In fact, they were quite less gruesome than expected.

The kid's body was unbelievably sturdy for such a small frame. And should he know, he had given him physical therapy for the last three weeks, and sponge bathed him and changed his dressing ever since Catherine and the Circus nurse sewed him back together.

He did ditch the effort of spoon feeding an unresponsive body to Catherine. He didn't have that kind of patience.

The recovering pilot also had much more scars than he should. Even more than himself had. The most disturbing thing being that a lot of those scars were surgical ones, not from battle ground.

What the hell had been done to that boy? And how such a kid could have become a pilot?

Given his… pilosity, or lack thereof, he mustn't be more than thirteen or fourteen. His young age might also explain his utter lack of insight about his actions. On the other hand, he, himself, did steal his own Gundam Heavyarm. Maybe, he wasn't the only one. One would only know when the kid would wake up.

Speaking of it.

It seems he might have the occasion to get those answers. Catherine was calling out to him. Their guest had opened his eyes.

* * *

Nota : So far I'm up to 12 written chapters. I've barely reached the III act. So this story will be 30 chapters at least, most probably around 40. I hope for a continued weekly release.

Please bear with me for the next few months. (If you like G-boys having a hard time figuring out love relationships)


	2. Chapter 2

**Duo Maxwell - AC 203 ****Late December**

* * *

Duo stretched, from his hands high above his head to the tip of his toes. It felt good to be able to move around again.

_ Hum… feels good.

It was late evening in Sank's kingdom, in the middle of winter. The air was chilly, with a sharp sting every time a breeze came by. It felt wonderful after months in the ever tempered colonies.

The passing of seasons was one of the few things Duo missed about Earth. Winter preferably, his skin and constitution didn't do well with stuffy hot summers.

_ You're totally nuts." Hilde countered, her arms wrapped around her waist and her breath puffing white mini-clouds. "It's fucking freezing there. Winner's late.

Duo grinned at her, leaned on the suitcases-full cart and offered his arms for warmth. It was unusual for Quatre's driver to be late but not yet worrisome. And Duo had to admit he wasn't exactly in a hurry to meet all of them, at the same time. Minus one.

_ I can't believe Princess Relena hired the whole circus for her party just to make sure Barton would be here this year. Rich people…" she shook her head grudgingly.

_ Hildy…" Duo chided her softly. "She's a good person. And Quatre is much richer than she'll ever be.

He could feel her shrug and her hair ruffle against his cheek.

_ He's a spacer. He understands things better.

_ At least, she's trying." Not like one Sheila 'I want this paint redone mustard yellow by Christmas' Corbin for example.

_ Yeah… she does." Hilde admitted softly while Quatre's chauffeur finally slid his sand SUV right before them. Duo shook his head as he released Hilde. Trust his best (male) friend to remind people of his Berber origins in the most various and vaguely subtle ways.

Friend because, despite him being slightly overwhelming and a rich spoiled brat tended to be annoying sometimes, Quatre was kind at core. And Duo was a goner for kindness.

Best simply because Duo didn't make friends (real friends, not mere acquaintances just there for a good laugh) that easily and Quatre had been the only one insisting on keeping continued contact after The Split Up.

They let the suitcase handling to the warmly clothed dark haired man and slid in the delightfully warm vehicle. Quatre was seated in the passenger seat and turned to them as soon as the door was closed.

_ Nice trip?

Duo's gaze crossed Hilde's with a wide sexy grin.

_ Relaxing.

Quatre chuckled and drew his hands up with a blush.

_ Don't need the details there.

_ My… why Kitty, never tried to fit two people into a shuttle closet? Or dreamed of?…" Duo teased the blond playfully. And not so much, they all knew about the blonde's teenage crush on one ex-mercenary with a borrowed name.

_ I'm not discussing this with you Duo.

_ Ow… With who then?" Duo leaned forward wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Quatre put his whole palm on his mouthy friend's face to push him back in the seat and make him shut up.

_ Who is already there?" Hilde changed subject with a pointed look at Duo. Since, for once, both Duo and Hilde had been able to take a two weeks long vacation, they decided to come down to Earth a few days before Christmas and enjoy the festive ambiance. Nightlights, Christmas market, and so on.

The colonies just didn't have the level of innocence required to fully enjoy this kind of festivities. And Relena had been only too happy to accommodate them for the whole time despite her being too busy to take the same vacation. They would mostly see her in the evenings, and at the party.

_ Milliardo, Lucrezia and the twins landed last week. Wufei and Sally are actually on a mission and might arrive at the last minute. Some tourists cruising around some Asian islands found a rebellion old hideout, they were sent to catalogue the place and destroy what shouldn't be kept.

Duo nodded, slightly relieved. His relationship with the short-tempered man had never been too good and his misguided choices during the Mariemaya incident hadn't helped. Still, Duo wasn't one to hold a grudge and had tried to bury the hatchet. Apparently, Chang Wufei didn't agree and their meetings were increasingly tense each year.

_ Trowa?

_ Is an uncle now!" Quatre advertised cheerfully. "And utterly smitten with his niece. I've never seen him smile so much. The circus will arrive the day before Christmas Eve.

Duo squinted. So far for the 'teenage' crush. Quatre was obviously still a tad smitten himself. His blonde friend huffed in annoyance, probably following Duo's train of thoughts on his face.

_ I've been over it, Duo. Doesn't mean Trowa isn't still a dear friend. And trust me, when you'll see him with little Chloe you'll get why I find it so sweet.

Trowa 'stoic' Barton smitten with a little girl. It was as difficult to picture as Heero pole-dancing. Hilde's snort by his side revealed that he wasn't the only one having trouble with the concept.

* * *

Duo wasn't a quiet guy by a long shot. But he was no competition with a Christmas Happy Quatre. As a Muslim the whole 'Little Jesus' stuff was irrelevant, but Quatre loved the joyful, childlike, atmosphere and goodwill coming with the holiday.

During the short trip from the space port to the Peacecraft mansion, the (no longer so little) blonde broached subjects as diverse as the last mining factory he was building on an asteroid near L5, his thirteenth sister's wedding with a vague cousin of Sally's, his Maganac friends having entered the third generation, how curious and well-mannered were Millie and Luc Merquise.

After letting Duo and Hilde breath, just long enough to give some indications to his chauffeur, he swapped to how exited he was for the coming week. Relena would have a lot of work and meeting going but Quatre was really looking forward showing them all the nice places he remembered from…

_ Kitty, we've been doing those yearly things for eight years now. We kind of know a bit about the landscape." Duo laughed good naturedly at his friend's long face. "Don't worry, we'll still let you treat us with some super fancy dinner a couple times.

_ I will, even if I have to kidnap you. I made a reservation for four at The Vermillion at 8h, in two days.

Duo grinned widely while Hilde huffed in mock outrage. He had to admit that it had taken a long time for Duo to be able to joke this freely about Quatre's overwhelming wealth. Guess, turning down Quatre's offer to invest in his business a couple time before accepting a tiny office with a receptionist slash secretary slash accountant on Earth to make sure the ground-bound packages were actually going where they were supposed to go and take care of some paperwork, in exchange for a percentage of the income, was making clear enough that Duo wasn't a scrounger.

So he felt free now to occasionally enjoy his friend's largess, particularly when it was about good food.

_ And who will be the last lucky one?

_ Relena since she was nice enough to host us for the holiday, I thought it would be appropriate to return her some of her kindness.

_ Appropriate…" Hilde smirked.

_ Kind?..." Duo trailed.

_ Every year I invite our host to a fine dinner. And yes Duo, Relena might have a strong personality, she is a kind person.

Duo hid behind his bangs, Quatre had that ability to keep his voice soft and still sound disappointed. And no one wanted to disappoint Quatre Raberba Winner, it was heartbreaking.

_ Sorry Quat'." He mumbled sheepishly. "It wasn't nice. It's just…

The blonde nodded, he knew. Maybe he felt the same too.

If Relena hadn't turned her back on Heero, after everything he sacrificed for her, he wouldn't have disappeared. And the first pilot might have had an annoying personality, Duo missed him. A lot.

And from Quatre's sad eyes he wasn't the only one.

Since she was the one who knew their lost pilot the least, Hilde took upon herself to lighten the mood and stir the conversation to some more cheerful topics. She was also really excited about the circus and the promised fireworks.

Duo loved the circus where everyone had a chance to be an awed child; even those who never had been one before. He shuddered at the idea of fireworks. He had made a point forgetting about that part of the festivities. A look toward Quatre showed him that the sentiment was shared. He also remembered Trowa getting a bit twitchy during the thundering show the last time he was there.

_ Kitty, ya think you can book us a nice cozy suite somewhere far for the one night?

_ I could, but I won't. I can lend you some noise-cancelling headphone, though.

_ Id' love that; we could start a new fashion there. I want mine dirty pink.

* * *

It took one second for Duo to come from sleeping to fully awake when he realized he wasn't home. Too soft a bed, too wide.

It took him a few more to realize he was grabbing Hilde's hairbrush instead of a knife; and recognize the place as one of Relena's guestroom. He dropped the brush and flopped back down into the pillows. Hilde was already up and out.

It meant the bed was cold. It also meant he had the enormous bed all for himself. He spread all across the linen and snuggled smugly, letting the rush of adrenaline fade away and return to a comatose state. The day had been long, and the dinner with the Merquise family had dragged on for a while. Mars terra-formation was a huge and exciting subject.

A look to the bedside clock revealed it was almost ten. Duo made a face at the old fashioned hands of the dial. There was fashionably late, and there was being a maggot. Head still fuzzy, he shrugged a T-shirt and hopped in a pair of well-worn jean's before padding toward what he was pretty sure was the breakfast room.

He was about to go down some wrong alley when the addictive aroma of coffee stirred him toward a luminous area with a view over the see. At least, Hilde was still seated, so he wasn't that late. Was he?

Duo kissed her head and dropped in the nearby chair, his eyes already scanning the food covered table for the coffee-pot.

A guttural humming, followed by giggles that could only come from Quatre made him look up, a raised eyebrow as a question mark.

_ I think you might have confused your brunet with someone else's." Quatre clarified while nudging the sought out pot toward Duo.

Oh?

Oh…. Turned out, Hilde was in front of him, not just besides. He turned wide, hearted eyes to the next chair.

_ Luce, baby, I'm sorry. You are my light and I just can't hide it anymore.

Duo took Lucrezia's hand in his and peppered the smooth skin with light kisses. Raising in the process another grunt, turning full growl from Zech.

_ Thyme honey and lemon juice with black tea." He offered benevolent while prudently giving back the hand he was holding to her rightful owner. The dark coffee in his cup smelled fancy and delicious.

_ Stop talking before you got your dose of caffeine Maxwell; you're not making any sense.

_ Home recipe for your throat ache Zech. Luce, darling, you should know better than letting your man get out in the cold without a scarf.

The only male on Earth and the colonies with hair that could rival his glared, but refrained from growling some more. Quatre, Hilde and Relena, who happened to get by, were more or less efficiently hiding their laughs. Duo got his much needed coffee, and the self-assurance that his hair was still better than the blond prick.

_ Hi princess! Came to join the party?

_ Good morning Duo. Glad to see you finally woke up, so I won't have to send a maid for you.

Duo wasn't sure how serious the smartly dressed woman was; so he decided to take the threat and slight haughtiness as playful banter of sort.

_ What? I'm relegated to maid's service? Don't I deserve Pagan's wake-up call anymore?

He whined with an Oscar-worthy crestfallen expression.

_ Pagan is retired now.

Duo had to admit this took him by surprise. Not that he should have; the butler had been old when Relena was still in diapers. Change was just not a thing Duo liked to think about. And he liked the old man, his driving was almost as entertaining as his old special forces and the Peacecraft childhood stories.

_ He… is still around? Can we visit once or something?

That must have been one of the few occasion Duo saw Relena sincerely smile at him. She reassured Duo could visit the old man anytime, Pagan was still living there, and swept out of the room. Probably heading to another boring meeting with boring old coot trying to imagine what the young woman in front of them would look without her high neck collar.

Duo shook his head to get rid of his own, too fertile, imagination and started digging in the display of food offered in tribute to his appetite.

It was promising to be very good holidays. He would just have to survive the Christmas party and Chang Wufei.

Nothing an ex-pilot turned doll-maker couldn't do.

* * *

**Trowa Barton - AC 195**

* * *

Turned out, Wings pilot was older than it seemed, about his own age, and pretty blunt. It was refreshing to say the least. But really… what was it with Gundam pilots and their emotional turnmoils? First the Chinese called WuFei and his nonsense about being or not being worthy of piloting his MS. Now that kid who'd rather stay dead. Not that he didn't get that particular feeling. He simply never had gotten as far as doing it to himself.

Quatre at least had been quite a cheerful and optimistic guy. Too sweet for the task in his mind, but he must have found the resolve somewhere.

This guy was of an entirely different wood. And he had been right, the boy was mostly riding on his emotions, even if he didn't seem to understand them half the time.

Except for that, they were quite similar; determined to take down OZ and protect the colonies, no matter what. The only difference was the brunet had gone the extra length he never undertook. Dispassionately speaking, it was making sense; it would be a waste to die uselessly.

What he hadn't taken into account was Catherine's reaction. He didn't think he had ever gotten chewed out like that. It was… unsettling to have someone care for him, selflessly. To cry for him.

The last one who claimed to care had decimated his company.

Having the young kamikaze approve of his ultimate choice of staying alive, was even more of a surprise. Had he misunderstood the other pilot?

Then he realized. There had been a difference between them.

_ The scythe's wielding pilot wasn't with you this time.

The other boy spared him a look and went back to gazing at the scenery. He frowned disconcerted, was it a touchy subject? More kilometers went by before the brunet spoke up.

_ He chose to target the land route.

_ I think Quatre was onto the land convoy too. They might have come into hiding together." He added after a few kilometers. The petite brunet nodded.

_ Good. I don't think he likes being alone.

he raised an eyebrow at this, still too little intel but he was reluctant to outwardly ask. Some people tended to confuse questions with inquisition and he didn't want to take the risk to antagonize the other boy.

_ Why is that?" He dared venture.

The deadpan answer was shot back almost immediately: "He stuck by me". He didn't think the self-deprecation was totally warranted, he quite liked the direct personality of his newest companion, but he had no business nosing into whatever kind of relationship the two other pilots might have had.

_ How is he?" He still couln't help but ask, just before he bite his tongue. Only this time the brunet answered right away, with an amused snort.

_ He takes a lot of place.

_ That big?" Trowa asked surprised. He didn't expect a pilot to be fat. There wasn't that much space in a MS cockpit.

_ Chatty. Attention drawing. Most of the time I can't tell if he gets how serious this fight is or if it's all a game for him. He's a good pilot, though.

He noticed that his companion called 02 'attention drawing' and not 'attention seeker'. From previous observations, 01 tended to be quite precise with his wording. It still didn't give much to conclude whether the Scythe's wielder would cry over his death like Catherine did for him.

They spend a while in silence, the wounded boy listing more and more due to fatigue and his still healing side. They would have to make a stop and get some rest soon; the gas tank was near empty anyway.

Eventually, he stopped the truck in a small village, almost too small for the size of the engine, and searched his backpack for a wallet.

_ I'll fill the tank, there is a grocery store across the road, you want anything in particular?

The other boy shrugged, he had no particular distaste or allergies. And apparently, no particular taste for anything… Saying he would have to choose their next meal himself. Bothersome.

He was about to recommend his companion to lie down in the meanwhile, but the petite brunet was already making himself comfortable on the large front seat. As comfortable as possible with a heavily bandages torso.

So. Groceries…

When he finally came back to the truck, some canned soup, snacks, fruits and food easy to reheat on a portable stove, Heero was already fast asleep. Or pretending. He didn't stir in the slightest when he leaned over to store the bags under the head board or draped a plaid over the thin shoulders.

The bench was wide, the pilot was short, so he only bothered to push a little the feet, let them drop over his lap once seated and kept driving west.


	3. Chapter 3

**Duo Maxwell - AC203 Late December**

* * *

Once properly fed and after taking full advantage of the huge, marble tiled, bathroom, Duo let Hilde at her catching up and gossips with Noin and Quatre and wandered down the hall in search for old Pagan's hideout.

He wasn't planning to bother the old man this soon after arriving but saying 'hi' was always a polite thing to do. As polite as bringing some gift. First thing first, Duo snuck into the pantry and grabbed a couple of the pastries he remembered the butler favoring.

Some cinnamon flavored soft cakes, leaf shaped, Duo had never seen on sale. They probably came from some super fancy place he would never set a foot in. Not that he truly minded; he wasn't much for decorum and would chose cheap and cozy over pricey and stiff any time.

Still… those pastries were awfully good. And Pagan usually didn't mind sharing his goods.

Maybe Duo should ask Relena's staff if they had a special way to get their hands on those.

He finally found the retired butler down a deserted hall, half buried between piles of books.

_ Finally! I wouldn't have imagined ancient libraries were where the old special ops come to hide.

_ Greeting Mr. Duo." The composed man answered amicably, seemingly completely at ease in the dusty crowded room. He had worked in the palace for decades after all, it was his domain.

Duo handed his offering and relieved a chair from its pile of books to seat at the cluttered table. It smelled unusual for Duo in there, dusty, old leather and wood polish. It was oddly soothing.

_ So, I heard you're on the long vacation now?

_ I have retired, yes. Those crooked hands can't do much anymore." It didn't even sound self-pitying, there was humor in the man's voice. "Want some tea with those pastries?

Duo wasn't a tea person but Pagan had a mean supplier. Right along with the treats lying between them.

_ Your tea is the best.

The old man nodded and called out to someone further into the room. Soon a figure appeared, much smaller than he would have expected. Duo gaped at the frilly clad little thing that came out of one alley, holding a stack of books in its soft metal arms.

_ Hey, that's one of mine!" How did the man get it? Duo knew every customer, making a point in meeting them, even if only on vid-com. None was Pagan. Or anyone Duo knew to be close to the old man. "How?..." He trailed, eyeing the Doll trying to recall that particular one.

_ I needed an assistant with capable hands. And an old friend of mine had a neighbor who wanted to sell this little one.

Duo frowned, his Dolls were custom made, and weren't cheap. He hadn't though that people would want to sell them this fast.

Most of his creations were all metal, looking either like robots or like actual dolls, even if he preferred referring at them as Dolls. He sub-contracted the parts that were biscuit or silicone for head and hands when the customer wanted a 'doll-looking' Doll. This one had a silicone face, it reduced the possibilities.

He hadn't had many requests for moving faces, maybe too close to human for most people's comfort. There had been that guy once, he wanted a Doll with a big mouth, supposedly to resemble his daughter or whatever bullshit. Duo hadn't listened further and handed the man coordinates for a sex doll maker and pushed him out of his office.

There was also that woman whose daughter was bedridden and wanted 'someone' to read her stories when she couldn't. This was that Doll. It probably meant the child…

_ Lily.

_ I have heard of your business, but I didn't know she was one of yours. Or I would have called you to make the few changes I needed.

_ What changes?" Duo asked curiously as the Doll started brewing the tea. Being able to learn to answer to simple orders like handling an electric kettle were parts of the basic programming. Children loved to play tea and there were not many differences between pretend and real tea party.

_ She already knew how to read so it was easy to make her able to type under diction. I'm writing my memoires and she's helping me.

Duo nodded, took the offered tea, it was a little off but still pretty good, and started asking Pagan about his memoires. Had he already said he loved the man's stories?

They talked for a while, sharing the pastries, until Hilde found their hideout. It was already lunch time and they were waiting for him. Duo made to bid his good-byes to the retired butler when the man gave him a look. The kind of look people tended to have when they wanted to ask a favor but weren't sure how welcome they would be.

_ Hildy? I'll be right there; will you tell the others that they can start the soup without me.

He loved the Asian kind of soup with noodles and chicken, but the mixed vegetables kind, he could do very well without, thanks. He kissed her lightly, she nodded and left.

_ What is it?

The old man coughed, apparently embarrassed, and looked at the Doll. It was dutifully seated on a chest, its hands on its knees, waiting to be called.

_ Like I said earlier, I had some changes made to Lily. And you might have noticed, she no longer speaks. The hardware is still working but the processor isn't powerful enough to enable her to do... everything needed. And we didn't dare change the components. Do you think you could do something about it? Without turning her off?

Duo was pretty sure he could do something. Without turning it down would be a lot trickier. You don't just plug and unplug components of a computer while the machine was running.

_ Why not turning it off?

_ I wouldn't want her not to remember me when she wakes up.

Duo internally frowned at that. What Pagan's wizard had done to his Doll?

_ What do you mean?

Pagan shrugged, he was no IT expert, he just knew what his wizard told him: never to let the Doll's batteries run as low as zero, never shut it down. Or her whole memories would disappear, except for the original basic programming.

_ I'll think about something." Duo didn't promise, he had no idea if he could do it. And frankly, he thought the old man was getting a bit lonely if he was starting to imprint onto an animated Doll.

Retirement didn't always do good to everyone.

It was only while Duo enjoyed his last drops of wine, wrinkling his nose at the display of cheese, it occurred to him he didn't even asked about who had put their fingerprints all over his creation.

Then Quatre offered the Merquise to bring the kids to the Christmas market. Duo and Hilde joined in. They had been planning to go there anyway. The more the merrier.

* * *

_ Ho gawd, feels sooo good…

Duo was soaking in the large bath-tub, his braid coiled behind his head as cushion. The salts smelled like lavender, the water was warm. Like really warm, not just lukewarm as in the colonies, energy restriction. And Hilde, facing him from the other side of the huge tub was massaging one of his feet.

It was heaven.

Especially after a two days trek in the neighboring hills. He was no more used to Earth gravity than walking for whole days. He was sore everywhere. But it had been worth it, the landscape and viewpoints had been breathtaking.

She let go of his foot and started to pick at the hair above his ankle. Duo took one of hers and reciprocated, letting his finger trail up her calf too. Given her line of work, Hilde had kept working out and was hard muscle all over. But not usually that hard. So he went to work, loosen all this bunched up muscle.

This time it was Hilde who stretched leisurely in the water.

_ You're good at that. If your Doll business ever gets down, you know where to go next." She appreciated, purring a little.

Duo laughed it off. And have to rub fat old coot who'll try to grab his braid of pet his ass? Or the other way around. No thanks.

Really, he understood the need for any people, even the old, fat or ugly ones, to have the right to access professional massages and all. He admired the benevolence of the people who would choose this line of work, like nurses and all. But it definitely wasn't his call.

He was a Doll maker. Dolls that made people happy. Nice change from dolls that killed and destroyed.

_ Don't go too much ahead of yourself Hon, we still have dinner planed with Quatre tonight.

Duo hummed, he knew. Quatre had threatened them with two restaurant dinners. The first one had… not been the disaster Duo had feared, despite Relena's presence.

_ I know I didn't know him as much as you lot did. But I really don't get why you're all still so stuck with that guy when together. Usually, you don't ever talk about him.

Duo went back to Hilde's voice, trying to catch-up on her last bit of talking. Oh… yes, Heero. His name had come up in the conversation at the Vermillion. And as usual, that had left a sour feeling around the table.

Except for Hilde.

_ I mean. I get he was a comrade in arms, you fought together. But let's see it, he was bossy, selfish, unfriendly, reckless and left all of you without a word. Why cling onto such a jerk?

Duo was glad he was so exhausted. He would have gotten angry otherwise. Really angry. Yes, Heero had been that, all she said. But not just that. Duo had no idea how to explain. He wasn't sure she would get it even if he tried.

_ He was a paranoid bastard, I give that to you. And terribly reckless. He was a mess. But the only thing he had ever wanted was to protect people. Everyone was the least he was aiming for. But he trusted very few.

Being amongst those few was a gift, Heero was fiercely protective of those who earned his trust and friendship. Relena first but not the only one.

_ And those few let him down. We all did, Hilde, in a way or another. That's why, we can't let go. He had nothing to live for when I met him. I'm not sure with what he left.

Duo didn't know for sure, but he had a fair idea about how and when he had personally failed his friend. That morning when the young dark haired, blue eyed boy left Duo's cabin on the Peacemillion with disappointment all over his features.

He had been trusted. And he broke that trust.

_Like everyone else._

Even Trowa, whom Heero had explicitly trusted multiple times when no one else would (when they ended up on either side of a heavy iron door for example, or when they found him miling with Mariemaia's little army), had asked Duo about the bossy pilot each time they met.

_One way or another._

Except maybe Wufey. He had always stayed clear from any kind of drama brewing between them. Kept to himself, trying to disentangle his own personal issues. But if the man still had news from Heero, he hadn't shared with the class. And most certainly wouldn't with Duo.

* * *

It was snowing. It was evening, they were at the Christmas market (again), under a veil of tiny lights and it was snowing. It was magic.

A bit crowded maybe, Duo amended when a hurrying citizen jostled him while passing by on the walkway.

_ Rude dude!" He grumbled after the caped blue duffle. He was entitled to try catching snowflakes, dammit!

His frown subsidized, and a wide grin spread instead as he caught sigh of Hilde coming back with two steaming cups of mulled wine. Aaand… a suspiciously bulky bag hanging from her left arm.

_ Found something nice?" He asked around a cup held with both hands to keep them warm, trying not to sound too curious or interested with the package. Guess after eight years of living together, she knew him too well and laughed at his failed attempt before handing him the bag.

_ For you, it's not yet the gift day but you might want to use it now.

Interest piqued, Duo held the unfinished goblet with his teeth to free both hands and unpack. Eyebrows shot up at the sigh of an extremely comfy looking coat with a huge hood. Black, because he was Duo Maxwell. He didn't waste time slipping it on, humming in content at the warm feeling.

That deserved a hug, and a thorough kiss. At least, but it was as far as he was allowed to go on a public street. The kiss tasted like spices and it was great.

* * *

Duo hadn't really intended to give much thought about Pagan's rewritten Doll, but it was bugging him. That someone had the gall to rewrite his codes and freaking manage to make it work; the challenge posed, if he could outsmart that smartass and achieve what he could not; and what the hell Pagan meant by 'remember him'. What the hell has the wizard done to his Doll?

If Lily remembered like, everything, it was loads of data, like really loads.

Fuck! That wizard might really a genius!

…

_ This is pure madness!" He yelled in dismay, his borrowed tools spread neatly around him and his personal laptop plugged to the Doll's system.

Duo had tried, he really did. Except he had nothing to work with; the wizard's added codes were like nothing he had ever seen, unscripted, with heaps of commands that did not exist. Not in any known language.

_ Sorry old man, I have not idea how this clusterfuck works. The only way to relink speech to the core program would be by adding a new drive and a dual core. I don't have the tools necessary here. And I can't guaranty it won't fry the whole system, not if done while running.

Pagan nodded sadly. Duo felt pretty bad about it, but there was honestly not much he could do. Besides promising he'll keep looking into it while back home.

* * *

**Trowa Barton - AC 195**

* * *

They had left the Circus three days ago. Three days snailing their path from back road to back road, sometimes going back when he found himself stranded with no west bound asphalt large enough for the overly large truck they needed to carry Heavyarm.

The recovering pilot had been napping most of the time. Healing or boredom, he had no idea. They talked sometimes, exchanging snippets of themselves. None could be counted as a 'conversation' by most standards.

He didn't mind, he was more used to a quiet sleeping brunet head than a living moving one. Still it was troubling. He had spent four weeks tending to that body, knew all its moles and scars. Now it wasn't just a body, it was a person. Someone he barely yet intimately knew.

How did nurses handle this kind of circumstances?

It was so discomforting. He wondered if it would have been less so if the boy wasn't his age, or cute. And he hadn't had time for 'getting rid of the distraction' lately.  
Another small town, another gas station they will empty to fill their enormous engine. Another grocery stop. His companion was now feeling more comfortable asking for his own stuff. More comfortable or fed up with his choices of food.

He was climbing back in the truck, expecting once again to find the other boy napping or typing on his borrowed computer. The computer had been borrowed, proof his opened state on the head board. What else had been moved was the keys. Dangling from the boy's hand.

He stared. His new companion tended to be unpredictable and a tad weird sometimes, but he had not pegged him for a player. He reached for the key to have it kept out of his reach.

_ It's been three days. You've only had catnaps ever since. You need a shower and a real bed. I need a change of dressing and warm water. There is a pension on the other side of town.

He tried to protest, they weren't far enough, they couldn't afford to waste time. To risk getting caught.

_ I can't drive. Not for long. And you're dead on your feet. We'll be of no use if we end up down a ravine.

With this, the brunet simply pushed him on the passenger seat to start the truck and head to whatever sleeping facility he had found. Definitely, more comfortable. Enough to boss him around so it seemed.

When told about a pension, he had been imagining some small place, a little outdated, maybe owned by an old lady or a mother of five. Turned out, the teen had fancy tastes. The place was a former mansion turned hotel.

Tonight, they would eat a hot homemade meal for a change. And sleep in a real bed. He wondered if the cook would be better than Catherine. The woman did put all her heart into her cooking, didn't mean she was good at it. Still better than the merc's cooking or the mining colony's mass.

He knew some basics, but they rarely had much ingredients to be creative with. He wondered from what kind of back ground his copilot was coming from. Quatre and Wufei had both come from wealth. And given the thickness of the hall carpet and the brunet (who had hid his bandages under a zip hoodie) unimpressed stroll, he really was as much at ease in posh surrounding.

_ I've made a reservation for two under the name Maxwell." The boy claimed at the front desk.

He was almost pleased to realize he was right about one thing; the desk clerk was an old lady, with knitted cardigan and spectacles. A suspicious one; despite the claim being seconded by her computer.

_ I don't remember this reservation." She looked at them from over the rim of her slim framed glasses.

He was glad he was used to keep a neutral stance no matter what. He almost yelped when the brunet slid by his side and twined their hands and arms in an amorous embrace and cutesied at the matron.

_ That's because we've been planning our escapade for ages. Ne, Hanata? Waiting for... the right time.

Worst thing was not that the 'silly girlfriend' act _blush included_ was eons away from what he knew about the boy but the matron bought it all, bait, hook, line and sinker. She even winked at them while handing the key. The following shiver was not pleasant.

_ You do that often?" There was a strange mix of amusement and something more sour rising.

_ First time as lovers. Oyaji used to make me pass for his son when we were traveling. Used so say I wasn't really good at it.

_ And with your friend?" He decided to store the piece about 'oyaji' for later examination.

_ I don't have friends.

_ The pilot you've been with." He clarified. The boy shrugged as he opened the door.

_ He has a chipmunk face, couldn't look legal even if he tried. We went to boarding schools. A cargo-ship once, his folk.

Another piece of puzzle to store.


	4. Chapter 4

**Duo Mawell - AC203 December 23th**

* * *

Duo, warmly snuggled into his brand new coat, rimed with warm false fur, perched over a stone railing, was looking after the Merquise twins. Relena had dragged Lucrezia and Hilde to the spa, under the pretense that the brunets couldn't attend the party without a full massage, scrubbing and whatever women were suffering through in those places. Duo suspected it was mostly to try and win over the difficult soldier, with the help of a woman Hilde actually looked up to.

Zechs had been basically kidnapped by Quatre, probably about contracts or whatever.

So, Duo was left with babysitting duty. Not that he minded.

The two adorable shrimps were currently trying to make a snowman. It didn't take them long to enroll Duo's help, except that he had never done one either. They were still struggling with the making of a body that wouldn't fall apart every five minutes.

Since they were near the mansion at the top of the hill and on the road side, they couldn't miss the arrival of the brightly colored trailers.

_ Is that the circus?" Luc piped in.

_ Circus, circus!" Millie crooned happily clapping her hands and bouncing on her heels.

_ Yes it is. And who says circus says?..." Duo trailed with a huge grin, prompting the children to finish.

_ Clowns!" Yelled Millie.

_ Lions!" Roared Luc.

Duo laughed. Whatever might happen tomorrow, or how much crap Wufei would hand him; coming down here would have been worth meeting those two adorable, innocent, little terrors.

The snowman soon forgotten, they climbed down the hill toward the flattest part of Relena's domain lawn where the caravan was heading. Duo still made them stop far enough that they wouldn't disturb the settlement nor risk one of the children getting hurt.

The three of them watched the trailers settle, trying to guess what wonders were hiding under the thick lavishly painted tarpaulin. The kids cried with delight when the _Tiere_ passed before them, still a bit saddened that the beasts were mostly sleeping.

_ Aren't they cold?" Millie piped in worriedly. "Maybe they need covers?

_ I don't know cutie pie. But what I know is that Trowa is their caretaker. And he wouldn't let the Tiere get ill or hurt. He's a great guy. They did make a very long trip, they must be tired.

_ What is Tiere?

_ It's German for the wild animals.

_ Like a beast?

_ Ma na, kind of… But I like how Tiere sound better.

Then Luc sneezed three times in a row and Duo ushered the children inside, promising they would come back the next day "first thing in the morning" to say hello to the animals. He just hopped the kids' chatter wouldn't bother the usually quiet man or his poor beasts.

The circus was finally coming into town. Tomorrow would come the much dreaded Christmas Eve's party. Then he would be able to spend another whole week of wandering around on Hilde's arm, enjoying the company, the sun and the snow.

* * *

After a sexy evening with his thoroughly pampered girlfriend, Duo was very inclined to make a redo on a lazy morning. Until some banging at their door interrupted what was promising to be a wonderful handjob.

_ Who the hell…?

The banging wasn't that loud but surprisingly fast.

_ Unc'Duo, Unc'Duo… You promised!

_ You said we would get to see the lions! And the bear!

_ And the clowns!

_ Get up ! Get up!" the two little terrors urged him in unison making Duo groan in dismay and Hilde giggle at his predicament.

Damn, it wasn't even eight in the morning! Couldn't have those menaces waited until at least ten? Especially today. Honestly, Duo would have been perfectly fine with not getting out of the room until tomorrow morning. At least.

_ Well… you promised Sexy Thing. And if you're nice and behave, I might treat you before tonight." Hilde purred near the one ear that wasn't hidden under the pillow Duo was holding above his head.

On the other side of the door, the twins were still pounding and half pleading half demanding for Duo to come out. His braid rolled around his neck like a scarf, he was already suffocating from heat anyway. And since the day was most likely to end catastrophically, despite Hilde's promise, he might as well make sure to start nicely.

_ I'm up, kids! I'm up! Just let me get clean and clothed. And, please make sure there's some breakfast with my name on it. I ain't going outside without some nice pancakes in my belly!

He could hear the kids giggle behind the door as he was heading to the en suite bathroom then scurrying away like the two chipmunks they were.

He dropped his head and shook it dejectedly. "I hate Terrans." He muttered without heat.

A teasing pair of hands went on his sides seconds before a warm body molded itself behind his back.

_ No you don't. Now, shall we quickly take care of that before your worshipers come back?

Her hands hadn't been long to go south. Duo moaned and leaned on her, knowing she could hold his weight just fine despite being slightly shorter, totally agreeing with that part of the morning routine.

Twenty minutes later, he was seated in the Peacecraft mansion's kitchen trying to eat his pancakes while the children were tugging at every part of his clothes they could grab, urging him to hurry.

_ If you could give me one minute…" He growled grumpily.

And, little innocent sheltered angels they were, they giggled some more at the implied threat. Duo did a double take at that. Man, even ozzies knew better that to treat Duo's growls lightly. Blessed the children who grew up in peace and safety.

He finished his cup of coffee, pocketed his remaining pancakes in a clean napkin and went up, patting Luc and Millie's head on his way to his warm and fuzzy coat. This was after all exactly for what he had fought. For little kids to giggle when meeting a grumpy adult, not fear for their hides or lives. He still hoped Zechs had taught them better than to trust just _anyone_.

Now was time to see if he could drop the kids on Trowa and see for himself if the guy was as good with children as Quatre said. And finish enjoying his breakfast in peace.

Duo made a face at the gray weather, felt the chilly wind and almost went back inside. If not for the pair of little hands slipped in his who tugged him forward. And the simple prospect to see Trowa again.

They had barely known each other at the end of the war. The only thing Duo knew about the silent pilot, besides his combat skills, was: Heero trusted him, he had one hell of a punch and he was real good at chess.

Duo hadn't learned much more since then, but he had enjoyed going spend some quiet time and get a free tour of the menagerie at each stay of the Circus in the L2 cluster. They had acquired somehow a lemur and a baboon some years ago and Duo just loved the playful furry things.

Enjoyed,… after Trowa's mother hen of a sis' threatened him with all kind of nasty things if he dared drag the sad clown into trouble again. She has stayed very mad at him for a long time for bringing Quatre in and throwing her adoptive brother back into the heat of the war.

It had been so long since the circus came around that he hadn't even realized Catherine had been pregnant until Quatre told him and Hilde. A quick calculation made Duo decide she must have been in her first month last time he saw them.

Catherine might hadn't even had known yet.

Duo laughed at that. He hadn't occurred to him first but the idea of Catherine "Knife-thrower" Bloom as a mom was almost as hilarious as Trowa being a dotting uncle.

As soon as they arrived to the camp ground, the kids pulled him out of his thoughts by trying to steer him to the huge cages. At that Duo had to dig his heels.

_ No. Nope. We can't go see the big cats without their caretaker's permission. Would you like for strangers to come to your rooms without your mom and dad knowing?" Duo added when he saw their pouts soon to be turned argumentative.

He let a relieved sigh when they shared a look and tentatively shook their head.

_ Good ! Now that we are on the same page: let's find our resident clown.

And Duo steered the two children toward what looked like the 'main entrance' of the ground site; namely a gap slightly wider between two trailers and at the opposite side of the menagerie. Duo vaguely remembered Trowa letting a word or two about too many passerby being stressful for the caged Tiere. Even on the Peacecraft's vast lands, letting the wild beasts roam around wouldn't be a brilliant idea.

Unless… It would make for an interesting evening… Duo shrugged. It would, but it would also get Tall and Broody in a lot of unnecessary trouble.

It actually was quite painfully easy to find the Barton-Bloom family. You just had to follow the wails. When they reached the peak of the awful noise, Duo couldn't help but double in laughter at the scene that greeted his little group.

Trowa, clad in grease stained overall, was awkwardly trying to hold onto a very red and angry looking little girl without staining her clothes. At his feet, his sister and the (un)lucky father, were still in night gears and were trying to coax the baboon into getting out of his hideout under a truck and, once the first part of the task done, wrestle the baby's bib from it.

Too bad for them, as soon as the deceitfully harmless looking monkey spotted Duo, he ran to him, crying almost as loudly as the tiny human in Trowa's hands. By instinct, the braided man put the kids behind him, earning some startled gasp, and crouched.

Flucky was usually friendly but Duo wouldn't take chances. Especially not with children.

He did escape a relieved laugh when the baboon jumped on him to wiggle his way into his chest and warm coat. Then kindly handed the bib to Duo.

_ I knew I loved you for a reason Flucky." He made sure Luc wasn't going to run haywire in the minute before letting go of his tiny hand and take the offered present. "Tanks buddy, but I'm not exactly fond of lactose. And the little thing there looks like it needs that bib' more than I do.

Catherine was already by his side when he looked up, he handed the frightening mother the precious item that might save his ears from bleeding anytime soon.

_ Hi there.

She nodded to him and hurriedly went back to the pocket monster she gave birth to in a courageous attempt to save them all, checking the nipple for dirt before sticking it in the wide open tiny mouth. It took some time for the distraught child to realize she had exactly what she wanted and start gorging on the formula milk.

At least Duo hoped it was formula and not... let's say mare's milk.

She handed the bottle for Trowa to hand "Your punishment" and breezed away, her man in tow. It was kind of cute to see the tall, wiry man hunched protectively over the tiny bundle secured in the crook of his arm and softly cooing at her. Grease all forgotten.

Duo, a wide grin on his face, one arm securing the monkey who had yet to leave its warm hideout, the other hand still holding Millie as Luc was holding the rim of his coat, waited for Trowa to feel secure enough to acknowledge their presence.

_ Once a tamer, always a tamer." Duo muttered fondly.

Once he was positive his niece was calmed down and wouldn't fuss again in the near future, Trowa looked up to Duo, and soon raised a questioning eyebrow upon spotting the two brats hanging on him.

Duo shrugged and moved forward.

_ Don't get any idea there, they are Merquise's. I wouldn't have come and bother you with how little time you'll have to be ready for the evening show but I … kind of got kidnapped there. The kids want to see the big cats.

Trowa nodded and gave a more leisure look over the children. Duo could feel them squirming under his stare. And snorted softly as he idly wondered how long of _Heero's_ stare they would be able to bear before running and screaming.

_ Kids, this is Trowa Barton, a friend and the lion's caretaker. So…" He leaned toward them and mock whispered. "Didn't you chipmunks have something to ask him?

They looked at him, uncertainty in their eyes, needing a little more prompting.

_ It's OK guys, the baby looks terrifying but Trowa there won't let her bite you, promise." He made an exaggerated wink that got more giggles and a slight push to have them going.

Soon enough they were crowding the tall circus man and bugging him with pleas and a long stream of "Want to see the lion first. You have 'popotam? Duo said you had a bear. Can we feed them?" and a million questions and demands per second like only small, secure, children knew how to fire.

Duo grinned impishly and waved as Trowa sent him a mild glare. Then, as his inner softy melt upon looking at those adorable faces, Trowa led them to the menagerie, sternly warning the kids about the safety rules around the cages and carefully bouncing the baby to get her burp.

And they listened, hanging onto his every word as if he was the Messiah. According to Duo, it looked like a serious case of hero-worship in the brewing. Zech would have a hard time convincing those two it would be nice coming back to the very rough environment of Mars.

So… he clapped his hands as he settled on a barrel where he could see his charges petting the horses, time to finish breakfast. He dug into his pocket, only to find an empty napkin. And a cold sensitive baboon grinning at him, utterly unashamed.

_ I hate you." Duo claimed, not meaning it for one second.

When it was time for the circus crew to get ready for the evening. Duo wasn't sure which one was more unwilling to come back to the mansion, him or the twins. He had seen one of Relenea's limo come back from outside. Wufei was there.

So in between different pleas from the kids, Duo, very seriously asked if he could hide in Trowa's trailer.

_ That bad?

Duo shrugged. He would only know exactly how bad when he would meet the guy. Wasn't looking forward to. Trowa patted his shoulder, without an ounce of compassion.

_ You could just ask your woman to kick his ass. The shame should drive him away for a while.

Duo shook his head. He'd love to see Hilde hand Wufei's ass to him. But whatever it was the Chinese had against him, wasn't concerning her.

_ But you've got no qualm dragging me in.

_ I promise, no one would know." He knew he was whining, childishly so.

_ Duo, we have work to do. And Hilde will get worried. Go. I'll see you after the show.

_ You not coming for lunch?

For only answer, the tall man pushed them out of the camp ground, passing by the almost ready big top; Duo could see the workers install the seats and sand the ring.

_ You'll survive.

Maybe?

* * *

**Trowa Barton - AC195**

* * *

The room was as frilly and old fashioned as the lady's cardigan might have suggested and had two beds. One single pushed in a corner and one double, larger than a queen, smaller than a king. A peek at the window told him why the other boy had rented this particular princess-ish room: large overview and an easy exit, leading straight to the parking lot where the truck was.

_ She'll find it weird if the two beds are touched now." He commented calmly upon seeing his companion put his belongings at the foot of the smaller bed.

Apparently, the brunet didn't care much about whatever the tenant would think of them once they're gone. He didn't seem to care about sticking around either. So he took a change of clothes, he did stink, and went to the bathroom.

A few years ago, when he reached puberty, the guys had made a point explaining to him about hormones and morning (or basically anytime as long as he would be a teen) wood and how to take care of the 'distraction' his hormones would pose. Not that they ever touched him, the boss was nowhere near warm and fuzzy, but he had a strict moral code, and underage kids were definitely off limits. They did hand him a few magazines and some videos, 'to help'.

They didn't really help. And he never understood the fascination some of the guys seems to have with the act. But, after having had to spend three hours in a MS with an on and off hard on, he dutifully did as told. It was mostly mechanic and he usually used that down time to reflect on the past day, review the repairs he would have to make on the MS,…

This time his thoughts kept wandering around the enigma he could hear shuffling around on the other side of the thin wall and what could they do now. The treat over the colonies if a Gundam ever showed again in battle. How long would he wander with the other pilot? Had he a plan? Should they join back Quatre or Wufei? And about the last pilot, the one his quiet partner seemed so amused/derisive/fond about?

The release took him by surprise, both in strength and the weakness it brought behind his knees for a second. He only realized he must have let some kind of sound escape when the other boy's voice rose, asking him if he was ok. He wasn't certain he was.

When going back to the main room, it was to find his fake lover bare chest trying to rub the smelly ointment Catherine had given them over the tender flesh of his scaring wounds and burns.

After their coma patient had awakened, he had let all the handling to Catherine. Tending to an unresponsive body was way different than a living, moving one. It had never felt weird when it was his fellows mercenaries, but this boy was difficult to approach. This time, he would have to do it. It was too obvious the young pilot was struggling; he could never reach his back. He would be a jerk not offering his help. He feared it would be awkward if he did.

And it was, a bit. There was something oddly fascinating with how the tanned skin (too tanned for a true colon) was moving, twitching under his fingers. Until he realized his patient was a bit flushed and sour looking, in embarrassment about needing the help, he hoped. And not because he was making it awkward. So he steeled himself to curb his unwarranted interest and finish quickly before they went down for dinner.


	5. Chapter 5

**Duo Maxwell - AC203 December 24th**

* * *

Duo decided he owed one to Trowa. He would have never made it back to the mansion in time for lunch if the acrobat hadn't reminded the twins that the circus would be there all week and they were welcome to come back every day.

Quatre had been right; the ex-pilot was good with children. A treasure of amused patience faced to their incessant chatter. Or his… to be fair.

Or maybe not, after all. The second best choice, besides spending the whole next twenty eight hours holed up in his bedroom, testing every surface with Hilde, would have been hiding in a circus trailer or pretend he knew what he was doing while holding onto a rope or other. But Trowa had shoe him away.

All in one, Chang Wufei had arrived, his patented 'Maxwell why are you still alive' scowl firmly in place.

And of course, Duo ended up sitting next to Sally, the Chinese man in front of her with Hilde by his side. Relena was the conservative type and liked to put the 'couples' face each other, alternating males and females. The ex-Queen turned ambassador was sitting in front of Quatre.

He took a deep breath and sat down near Sally, offering her his best gentleman impersonation salute. Still very far from the ultimate gentleman salute Chang gave to both Hilde and Mrs. Merquise. Duo suppressed his snarl with effort and took Hilde's foot between his own for comforts. She gave him an encouraging smile and gently rubbed her other foot against his calf.

Not caring much about being at the end of Wufei's snide comments and glares, Duo kept on focusing on his left hand overly cute neighbor, Millie. Until Sally addressed him personally and he couldn't bring himself to be so rude as pointedly ignore her.

He almost managed to enjoy himself talking about places Sally had visited, and relax enough to let go of Hilde's foot under the table. The question caught him by surprise.

Duo had been finishing cutting Luc's meat and Lucretia thanked him across the table for his continued care of her children. Someone joked about how Duo might steal her Twins by the end of the stay. Duo was too occupied with sweeping mashed potatoes from Millie's hands to notice.

Then The Question was fired.

"Ever thought about getting your own?"

If asked, he couldn't tell from whom. In the end, it didn't matter anyway.

That made Duo gape like a fish, his hand tightening around whatever they were holding. Luckily, he still had enough presence of mind to unwind them as soon as Millie started to squirm under his grip.

He had never thought about having children. Not that he had anything against them as a whole, but having some of his own? Being completely, uterly _responsible_ for such fragile lives? Like forever? No. Nope, that wasn't in his tablets. Like, ever.

The second shoe dropped when Hilde answered, since Duo didn't look like he would make a sound, besides meaningless mumbles, anytime soon.

_ We are still less than a quarter century, there is no hurry.

It wasn't just the answer but the warm smile she gave him. It looked very much like she actually wanted to. Someday. Maybe not that far in the future.

He didn't. Never. He was too much screwed to ever consider such a step. Besides, what the kid would happen next time Hilde would try to find a better suited and/or committed man than him? When she would find one?

Or was it the reason she kept wandering? Because they had never talked about children? Was it what it would take to keep her by his side : a child their own?

Duo closed his mouth, nodded noncommittally and lowered his eyes to his own plate, feeling like he had just swallowed a viscous ugly thing.

He looked up upon hearing the ugliest snarl ever. Wufei, of course, who spat a Chinese word toward him that Duo didn't know but made Sally frown, and then spend the rest of the meal pointedly ignoring Duo and the dense atmosphere.

Duo was so not looking forward to the dinner, after the overcrowded late evening cocktail party and the circus show. Maybe, right now, the bear's cage sounded like a good place to hide.

After the lunch, they all moved to the winter garden for tea and coffee, Trowa and the Blooms, who had declined the lunch invitation to finish setting up the big top, joined them there. Catherine was too preoccupied with her fussy daughter to sense it but the tall ex-pilot took in the gloom immediately and came to stand near Duo's hideout, half hidden behind a huge plant.

_ Cheerful ambiance for Christmas Eve." He commented laconically in a low tone.

Duo eyed his companion, if asked about what he appreciated about Trowa, the first two adjectives he would come up with were: non-invasive and tactful. The way the tall man had to offer openings without making his intended interlocutor feel like they had to follow and answer was… very welcomed. Duo didn't respond well to direct questioning; especially when he wasn't feeling well.

_ Told you so. Worst: apparently, not wanting children is a mortal sin downside." He shrugged, murmuring noncommittally, then lost his gaze into the swirls of dark coffee.

_ Take responsibility for a life, from their birth to your death, it requires a lot of commitment, and stable ground.

_ Tell them that.

There was less bite than weariness in Duo's last statement. Maybe there were things you could truly understand without explanation only if you were an orphan with a borrowed name.

Soon enough, Trowa was again hounded by the Merquise terrors. Duo caught his questioning glance and signaled to his almost friend he was ok. He wasn't, of course, but there was nothing Trowa could do about it. It still felt good to know that someone at least was getting him.

* * *

Duo was finishing re-braiding his hair, his unbuttoned slacks slipping a bit from his hips and his pressed shirt waiting on the bed when he finally gathered the courage to address the elephant that had barged in his life at lunch.

_ You never said you wanted children." He started softly, trying his damnest not to sound accusing.

Hilde looked up from her adjusting her stockings.

_ I might not always act or look like one, but I'm a woman, of course I want children, someday. We're still pretty young and maybe not financially stable enough to afford one right now. But someday, when we grew up a bit more ourselves.

Duo tied the end of his braid and let it fall over his shoulder to pick-up his suit and put his shirt on. He kept fiddling with its buttons.

_ Hilde, I ... I don't want children...

She stilled, hands raised over her head, in the middle of putting her blouse on. The fabric slithered on her slim frame, rustling in the sudden silence. Her arms lowered as slowly.

_ You love children." And if she tried not to sound accusing, it failed.

_ I do. When they are someone else's responsibility. I love to play with kids and spoil them rotten, then send them back to their loving parents.

Her garment now perfectly adjusted, she went up to him, taking the shirt from his hands and helped him in.

_ I did figure you weren't up to it now. That's why I said we had time. We're still young and you might someday gain enough assurance to change your mind.

He let her caress his face, pushing his bangs away. He loved her, so much.

_ I'm sorry Hilde, but that's not something I'm going to change my mind about.

She looked at him kindly, kissed his lips and adjusted the knot of his tie.

_ Let's talk about this when we get home. Okay?

She headed to the door, holding it for him. Duo followed, his heart heavy, she wasn't listening.

Their balance had been delicate, and was slowly crashing around them.

* * *

The show was amazing as usual. Maybe it was lacking some knife throwing, and trapeze dangling since Catherine was taking a break from dangerous stuff, being a mom and all. It still did his deed and Duo's mood has improved greatly with the succession of wonders; they even had added a magician to their crew who did amazing things like changing dress at top speed behind veils, bubbles or simply going through a loop with shiny tails. Mr. Bloom, the new M. Loyal, was pretty good. Different than the one Duo was used to but still okay. Apparently, the owner had decided to retire from the spot light and simply concentrate on running the circus.

Mr. Bloom, all sparkling white clad, was presently introducing the last part of the show. Seems like since losing his trapeze partner to parenthood; Trowa had found a new one for a 'hand to hand' piece.

It was…

Duo had no word to describe. But he sure as hell was stuck on his bench, eyes glued to the act before him.

Trowa's new partner was a small lithe thing and the story was poignant.

At first, the tall acrobat was alone, looking frozen and a bit like Duo's Dolls, mechanical and unfeeling. Then he was joined by a stumbling partner, basically crashing into Trowa, letting a man barely keeping up holding him. Until it became more obvious they were leaning onto each other, the small one as a support when the tall one couldn't. The tall one as leverage when the small one was crumbling.

Two lost souls, brokenly stuck to the ground, barely able to stand up. Who found each other, leaned onto each other and tried to carry their misery to the light. It was mostly Trowa, who finally threw away his usual sad clown attire for a very fitting blue-grey suit (when did guys _ever _look good in leggings?), who was doing the carrying part. His lithe partner still proved surprisingly strong when a long violet scarf came dangling from the top barely to his reach and he first hauled himself into its folds, then helped his partner up. They climbed up, slowly, with many set back, clinging to each other until they found nest at the top, the scarf folded around them like a warm cocoon.

At the end, everyone was standing for the ovation, besides Duo. He was both hard and crying.

God, even a blind man could see Trowa was quite handsome. But it was the first time Duo realized how frigin'_ho_t he could be when he wanted to.

_ Got a problem Hon?" Hilde whispered in his ear when she sat back down. "Don't worry, me and most of the guests too. If I had known your friend could be that sexy, I would have come to the circus more often.

She patted his thigh, amused. Duo was not; he had liked his quiet time at the circus and it might sound selfish, it wouldn't have been the same if Hilde had been there.

_ To be true, it's the first time ever I see him perform without his horrific clown pants.

She made exactly the face he was aiming for.

He had agreed to let her find things he couldn't give her into other guys' arms because he didn't want to lose her. But he was not letting Hilde hit on one of the few friends he had. Recipe for a disaster. Besides…

_ Too bad he's not playing in the right league.

Duo crashed down from semi remembered memories at the dreamy comment. "What?" For only answer, he got an exasperated roll of eyes.

They all got up for the final parade; Trowa had his niece in a tutu on the shoulders and his sister was beaming at Mr Loyal's arm. The show had been a real success.

Then the guests were ushered to the great hall for a lavish cocktail, even if it was more like tea time. There started the part Duo had the most difficulties with, besides fireworks.

Too many important people, expecting niceties, who spent war comfortably on their commander or politician seats. They had no clue; still they talked like they won the war. It tended to make Shinigami stir deep inside his guts. So Duo tended to spend that part hidden behind Hilde.

Not this year.

This year, Hilde was another part of the problem, pretending there wasn't one when he felt his world crashing around him. So he found a nice spot on the balcony. It was cold, but it was safe.

_ Still hiding?" The soft tone made him jump a mile.

_ Jesus fucking Christ! Can't you make some noise when you move?

Duo had a hand on his racing heart and a mild glare set on his features, directed at no one else than a stunning, smirking Trowa Barton.

_ You look almost as good in smokes than in tights.

Oups… that wasn't meant to be said. So far for 'not hitting on friends', ne? Not that he was really in the mood. It just escaped his mind through his lips.

_ Thank-you." Trowa simply acknowledged with a nod and went to lean on the balustrade besides Duo. "Did you like the piece, or just the thighs?

Duo smiled, his shoulders unwinding just a tad. The tall guy's dry sense of humor tended to have that effect on him. Maybe not hitting then, just teasing. He bumped his shoulder to his companion's with a smirk of his own.

_ My, what? Trowa Barton, are _you_ fishing for compliments?

_ Mmm… Maybe?

Duo let escape the bubble of laughter the sly answer and sided look drew out. Because it felt good to be able to laugh, even right now.

_ It was amazing, and not just your tights. Even kind of cried in the middle." Duo admitted. "You're always so collected all the time, I never imagined you could..." Not sure how to phrase it without sounding insulting, insensitive or gushing, he stopped to finish lamely. "I was surprised.

Duo had slumped down to resting his shin on his arms crossed over the stoned banister. The evening was moody, a bit of gloomy. Kind of like him. The clouds were heavy gray, definitely not snow clouds.

_ He does that." Trowa answered softly.

Duo blinked at his quiet companion. Who did what?

_ Being intense, and dragging whoever happens to let him in his wake.

Ok… not that Duo really cared about the other artists at the circus. Maybe the fact that Shorty did manage to drag those expressions out of Trowa was a good thing though.

_ Glad you met him then.

Duo wasn't sure if Trowa frowned at the not so well concealed dryness to his tone or something else. Maybe just the sun peeking at them through the clouds. Or the sudden increase in chatter volume as someone came to them.

Surprisingly, it was Sally.

Duo quite liked her; despite the whole tying Heero down to experiment on him. It was years ago, and she changed her views and left the Alliance after that. Besides, she had a very no-nonsense vibe, was never judgmental and could subdue Wufei with a glare. The last one had almost owned her a place on Duo's worship altar.

'Almost' because Heero, tied down in a military hospital. No one said Duo couldn't hold a grudge when he wanted to.

_ Hi boys. Felling too stuffy inside too?" She greeted them with soft cheer.

They nodded to her in unison.

_ Long time no seen Trowa. I liked your change in specialty, and partner. It was very sexy.

_ I'll tell him.

_ Burning the clown attire didn't hurt either." Duo half muttered; meaning to be heard.

_ I liked the clown attire too, the top did offer some nice view.

Trowa smirked at that, Duo beamed at her. She was fun too!

Duo almost, playfully asked her why she wasn't married yet. Yesterday, he would have. Now, he knew how some seemingly innocent question could shatter a carefully constructed life.

_ Coming from you, I take it as a huge compliment.

_ Hum... I think I should leave you two alone…" Duo trailed waving a dismissive hand in the air, heading to the inside. Not in the mood of watching flirting. He stopped upon hearing an amused giggle from Sally.

_ Don't worry Duo, I know how to appreciate a nice work of art, but Trowa's not my type. Not curvy enough.

Oh?

_ Oh…

She winked at the tall quiet man who answered with a smile that didn't move his lips, but crinkled his eyes. Apparently Trowa knew about Sally's preferences.

_ Now I get how you could have gotten yourself a delicious looking assistant and not have made a move on him. Well… that and his so charming personality." So long for being thoughtful and not put foot in mouth.

She frowned instead of laughing. Bad point for Duo. Told you so...

_ Wufei is a good man Duo. And maybe you ought to solve whatever is happening between you two, before it becomes worse.

Duo deflated.

_ I know he is Sally. But I'm not the one having a problem with him, except that he is at my throat at any given chance and can't bother to say why.

_ Solve this, before it gets ugly." She chided him one more time before saluting them both and going back into the crowd.

_ Yeah… sure whatever you say Ma'am. I'll just have to hug him until he stops trying to beat me to pulp for shit and giggles." Duo muttered behind her back. Mercifully, Trowa stayed silent.

Duo shook the gloom and forcefully shoved any though about Chinese pompous ass on a very far corner of his mind.

_ Too bad, she's just interested in looking. She's quite a woman.

She was a few years older than them, but if it could have mattered when they were teenage boys, it was no longer that important. Duo leaned once again on the banister, siding with the taller man. Looked to him when he heard an amused snort.

_ You really don't know how to take a hint, do you? That's cute.

Duo scrunched up, he had never been tagged as 'dense'. What the Hell was he talking about?

_ In case I didn't make it clear before, Sally is not my type either. Too curvy.

Duo blushed; remembering one night, two years ago.

_ It was late, we were drunk, it was just kissing. Could have been my beautiful hair.

Two kisses exactly, one initiated by Duo himself, the second, just after, by Trowa. After a long evening sharing drinks and broken tibids of themselves under the arch. Not even a bit of groping.

_ _You_ were drunk Duo." Trowa answered softly, without looking at him.

When Trowa had kissed him back, Duo had almost invited him to his room. That year, Hilde had stayed in the colonies with her boyfriend of the moment. Duo had chickened out; he didn't do relationship with guys, never knowing when Hilde would come back. And he didn't want to risk losing one of his few friends. It was the last time Duo saw Trowa until the previous day.

And now…

_ If I had invited you. Would you have come?

Trowa shook his head: "No."

Duo was almost surprised not to see this glimmer of hope physically crash down at his feet.

_ That year, you still believed in what you had. And I didn't want to wake up in the morning, or a few days later, with you telling me it had been nice but 'time to go back home'.

With this, Trowa landed a brief kiss on his cheek and left.

_ Fuck…" Duo swore softly. Flirting it had been then.

* * *

**Trowa Barton - AC195**

* * *

_ You know, that's almost creepy.

_Hn?" the other boy signaled he was listening without looking up from his typing of the computer that seemed to have become a shared item by now.

_ That 'love-sick puppy' act you pulled for the madam." It did get him his companion's undivided attention. "It's just… so far away from… Where did you learn to do that?

_ Boarding school. Many papa's girls, lots of drama. You can't really escape them.

_ So you emulated them." The other snorted and resumed his previous activity while he wondered what going to school might actually feel. Having friends his age, sitting for hours learning more or less useful stuff. Sounded both enticing and boring.

_ Kids are annoying, rich kids even more. They… are so clueless and petty sometimes, it's frustrating. But that why we are here, to let them stay kids.

He could just nod, that was why they had taken over operation meteor. For those kids to have a chance to grow-up.

_ Took over?" Once again, the typing has halted. No, more, the laptop was being closed.

_ The Trowa Barton who was supposed to pilot Heavyarm was a little older, with a wife and kid." He admitted. "It didn't prevent him to want the full blast of Operation Meteor to happen.

_ So you took his place, and name." He only noticed the other's tension at the mention of his full borrowed name when it faded away from his shoulder line.

_ You?

_ J has a weird sense of humor.

He had no idea what the guy meant. Like usual, he didn't ask for more. Not long after, they went to sleep, neither bothering asking about their real name. Neither had one anyway, not that they did know yet.


	6. Chapter 6

**Duo Maxwell - AC203 December 24th**

* * *

By the time Duo finally manned up and entered the ballroom, the circus troupe, including Trowa, was hounded by the children and youngsters. He didn't seem to mind too much so Duo let it be.

Then Quatre had come to him, chatting him up. Duo knew he had been listening to his friend, and answered. He just couldn't recall what they have been talking about. Only the thought that the man Quatre has been gushing about for years had just made a move on _him _had been circling his head. And how Quatre would take it. Was he really over Trowa like he claims?

Or had he just let go of hopes because 'not the right attributes'?

In Quatre's case, Duo wondered if that would be the 'I can't he's a man and I should like women' or 'I can't I'm a man and he's supposed to like women' kind of not right.

Not that it really mattered, he guessed. Trowa made a choice. Now, it was Duo's turn make his.

Duo had several decisions to make, to be honest. Have a truthful, long speak with Hilde, or abide to her wishes. Leave or marry? They certainly couldn't go on living the way they have if she wanted a child, or children.

And now there was Trowa. Offering him something else. It was too soon. He hadn't even decided how to handle the situation with Hilde. He wasn't even sure _what_ Trowa was offering him, how permanent he was seeing this (admittedly, more than a few days at least).

His head about to explode and his patience wearing way too thin, Duo had escaped to the living/dining room where the more intimate Christmas dinner should happen and the Christmas tree was toppling under the weight of tinsels and twinkling lights. The firstly small pile of wrapped gifts had grown quite a bit since the time Duo added his and Hilde's in the morning. It was quiet, exactly what he wanted.

Sadly, it didn't help with his crowding thoughts. He didn't want to leave Hilde, to let go of the life they've been building for so many years. He liked his life. He expected, stupidly maybe, that it would last. That their uncommon arrangement would content them both. Maybe, she was right, he might change his mind someday. Maybe with a child she wouldn't go search for prince charming anymore and be content with the simple man she had home. If trying very hard?

Duo rolled around and groaned. Who was he trying to kid there? He had hated each and every guy she had dated. Screwing on his side was mostly part to forget the bile, part revenge. Never with a girl, out of respect, somehow. Or maybe because his first love had been a boy. He wasn't really picky about gender.

He was terrified at the idea of losing her. She had been his only constant for so long. Still. Duo couldn't hide from this, it was over. There were things they could have talked about, compromised on. Children wasn't one.

It wouldn't be fair to talk a healthy, young person out of having children. And Duo wasn't certain which would make him more miserable: letting go of the life he had for a child, or for a guy.

Or keeping up the charade and pretend he was ok with Hilde dating on the side?

He jumped a bit in his hiding sofa when the doors opened. Not the one he came through, leading to the main hall, but one of the back doors, usually used by the crew.

He had been so sure, since the dinner table was already up, that he wouldn't be disturbed in this room. It was the most private place in the main floor, dining room coupled with a cozy living. One of the sofas occupied by yours truly Duo.

Peeking silently around the armrest, Duo found a tall red head woman with a paper-clip in her hands and a teenage boy with a dark blue overall and an assorted cap pushing a cart with a ladder and crates. She had a posh accent, he wasn't speaking at all. The boy went out. The lady in a fitting pant suit strolled around the place, touching the tapestry, shaking the curtains, muttering to herself too low to be heard.

The boy came back with another cart, filled with what appeared to be blank canvases.

_ You're sure you want to put it there? The light is terrible. It's…

Duo was looking at her too red lips, so he had no idea what the boy did to make her trail like that.

_ Ok. I'll go back to the party, page me if there is anything you need. Some petit-fours? A drink?

_ Nothing. Go.

It was said in a very low voice; almost toneless.

_ Charming as ever. Why do I stay with you?

_ I pay you well.

She waved menacingly her finger in his direction "Must be that." and left from the same door they came in. None had seen Duo. So, he settled to watch the boy do whatever he had come for, it was a good distraction from his circling thoughts.

Apparently, he was set on hanging the canvases on the wall opposite to the main door. That included a lot on up and down the ladder and bending over to pick tools. The show was no comparison to Trowa in tights, but still enjoyable.

_ Nice ass." He quipped after a while. The boy sprang from his crouch position, like a snake, and stood rigid on the spot, head held low an ear strained on his shuffling. Duo felt bad for starling him this much. "Ahem… Sorry, didn't mean to scare you like that. And… for what it's worth, I can appreciate the menu without thinking about robbing the place.

The tense shoulders unwound slowly. The boy nodded noncommittally and resumed his work.

_ Don't want to be disrespectful but… What kind of art is this, hanging blank slates?

This time, the shoulders shook in what Duo took as laughter. Then the boy went to the canvases cart and his fingers trailed over, seemingly searching for one in particular. He found it, one of the smallest and drew it out to show what Duo couldn't have seen from his position, they weren't blank. They were covered with white sheet.

The one on show was mainly depicting an iridescent bubble with a yellow fragile flower inside.

_ Pretty." Duo admitted, not sure about what it was supposed to mean. The boy snorted and stored the canvas back where it belonged. Then he returned to his hanging the wires that would support the canvases. Duo was almost certain the boy was now actively putting his cute ass on show.

_ Is a few hours too little between realizing you can't keep going on with your 9 years partner, and considering a new one?

He wasn't really asking the boy; the kid was obviously too young for this kind of crap. Still, if his head tilt was any indication, he seemed to consider the question seriously. Duo didn't let him time to answer.

_ I… I don't know anymore. We have been together for so long. It wasn't a usual relationship, but it was a good one, most of the time. And I do love her. It has just become impossible; we don't want the same thing for our future anymore." _Had they ever? Really had?_

The boy was still working on his hanging, humming softly from time to time: 'still listening'.

"Honestly, if I had ever imagined running away with one of the guys, not that I did. Well... not _seriously_... It wouldn't have been with Tall and Broody." The teen snorted a laughter at the depiction. Reminding Duo he wasn't completely talking to the wind.

_ My type is more like shorties with dark hair and blue eyes. One in particular... But it was… how do we say that?... One place, one time. We were... straddled in a dark place for a while, (what a nice way to put 'held prisoners on the moon') we left separately, then he found someone else. Then he left for good...

"He looked a bit like you. Cute little ass, scrawny build. Haven't seen him for seven years, nor heard of him either. He could be dead and no one would know.

Good thing Duo hadn't caught a bottle on his way like he intended, he was already putting himself in a sad mood and spilling his heart out to a complete stranger who seemed to barely care. No need to add alcohol to the gloom.

_ Circumstantial relationship." The boy offered.

Duo huffed as the boy seemingly answered to his non question. Yeah… and what circumstances… darkness and pain. Lieutenant Bauer. Duo shivered. He missed Heero's arms, too thin barrier between him and a cruel world. Had tried not to for years. Right now, he did. Badly.

_ I fucking miss him. I want to punch him in the face. And this time, I'm not gonna let him punch me back in the gut.

This time it was a real laugh that answered his grumpy comment.

_ Glad my misery amuses you." Duo pouted and slumped back, deep into the sofa. The red head lady came by, told the guy to hurry up and left again.

Bored, Duo went back to look. The boy was now hanging the canvases to the previously strung wires, they were of all size and he was carefully measuring the spaces between each.

_ So… it's like one big thing or a wall of several independent paintings?

_ One spread over.

Concise and precise.

_ You're the artist?

This time, the answer wasn't even verbal, he just nodded.

_ So young and already renown enough that the Princess would command you a wall sized painting.

_ Not a kid." Despite still being very low, it sounded testy this time. Duo apologized, a little amused at the peeved angling of his body language. And resumed his watching, enjoying the silence for once.

Surprisingly, it was the boy who spoke next.

_ I had someone. As in a lover. We have been together on and off for years. Not our choice. Circumstances. There was that other guy with long hair... Never really got a chance with him. Ultimately, we all got separated. Then circumstances changed, for the best we thought. We tried to live together, me and my lover I mean. We tried for two years. Thing is… we hadn't changed as much as the world, as much as we hoped. We couldn't go on without hurting each other. We tried, sought out help, it wasn't enough. I still love him. But it's not enough. So we decided to step away from each other. Make room and let someone else fill in the blanks.

Duo huffed. He knew that story, been there, done that.

_ And, what about the long haired boy?

_ He... settled with someone else in the meantime. I not even sure if I could have ever had any chance with him. Circumstances...

_ And you're still turning around every time a long haired guy comes across. And your lover keeps pretending he doesn't notice, cause he hasn't long hair. Trust me; that kind of arrangement doesn't work. I've been doing that for almost nine years. In the end, it doesn't work.

The boy shrugged "we'll see" and resumed his work in silence until he finally got confident everything was exactly where he wanted it to.

_ You got the question wrong." He was now putting his tools away, the ladder already on the cart.

_ Which one? You don't seem to answer them in order anyway.

_ Your first one." The boy answered shortly from over his shoulder.

_ So what's the right question?

_ The life you had so far, did you chose it? Or did you simply settle for what you knew you could have instead of trying to reach something too uncertain?

Duo was surprised by the boy's thoughtfulness, and impressed. If he wasn't already half-dreaming about how Trowa might taste without champagne and how much of his 'intensity' he could bring to the bedroom…

Duo shook his head. Now really wasn't the time to fantasize over a kid. Besides, it was creepy. Cute ass or not, underage teen were a huge no no.

_ I'll have to ask you to leave know. To uncover the canvases.

_ Don't want to spoil the Princess' surprise? I get it.

Duo got to his feet. Now realizing he hadn't seen the boy's face, at all. Three quarter back with a cap on, at most.

So just before he left, go back to the real world, and maybe what Trowa had to offer, he turned around and asked one last question.

_ Cutie ass?

_ Hm?

_ Do you have blue eyes?

_ Who knows? Do you have long hair?

The boy made for turning fully toward him this time. Duo closed the door before he got to see his profile. Fantasies should stay fantasies.

* * *

Thankfully, Duo's interlude with the painter had lasted until most of the guests were gone. Except those who were meant to stay. Lady Red was gone too and the blue overall was nowhere to see. The painter had not been invited to the dinner. Sadly, Wufei was one of those who stayed, and he didn't hold back the bite about Duo's defection.

Again.

It was rare, really rare, but sometimes, Duo almost regretted having put himself on the line to protect that ungrateful bastard. Not that he was supposed to know. Duo would cut his tongue before telling Wufei and he knew Heero wouldn't either, if he ever made and appearance... Still, sometimes, it hurts, badly.

"Pompous, self-righteous ass." Duo muttered between his teeth, just loud enough that he might be heard. And from the sudden stiffness of the man before him, he heard.

_ That wasn't nice." Trowa, silent as a shadow, was again right behind him commenting softly on his bout of pettiness.

_ When has he ever been nice with me?

_ I can't tell. I'm not always there.

Duo smiled at his friend, not sure whether rhetorical questions weren't Trowa's forte or if it was one other example of his personal brand of dry humor. Not wanting to look like a whiner, Duo changed subject.

Or tried to. With this little people left, it wasn't long before Hilde found him and joined for one of the most awkward moments of his life. Not yet ex, meet possible future.

And since it was 'not yet', dear Hilde was all over him with worries about him basically disappearing for almost the whole afternoon and most of the evening.

How to tell her he had spent a better time with Trowa on the terrasse and flirting with cutie ass in the living room than he ever had during any of the boring parties Relena insisted in throwing every year? That he still loved her and wanted to take her in his arms, bury his nose in her minty scented hair and forget the whole day.

But cutie ass hadn't been far from the truth, too wary about losing what he had, Duo had let himself fall into a crooked relationship. His fault or hers, didn't really matter. They had both let things go on longer than it probably should have.

Sex was great, love was easy, she was familiarity and comfort. But the passion, the belonging, had vanished. If it had ever been there. Duo was no longer sure about it. Maybe she has been the easy way. Maybe he wouldn't have loved her this much if she had fairer hair, or darker eyes.

Since it was not the time nor the place. Duo put a strained smile on and pretended, for a little longer, that everything was well and good. It was exhausting. Being caught between Trowa and Hilde. For once, he could have kissed Relena when she announced the dinner was ready.

He had taken a peek at the table, before going to hug the sofa, and noticed Trowa and his sister's family were as far away from Duo and Hilde as could be. He would miss the man's conversation, but it was for the best right now.

They all followed the Princess through the main hall. Hilde at Duo's arm, just behind Zechs and Noin, the kids were already to bed.

Duo, as the only one to know about the little surprise in store, was bouncing a bit, anticipating the looks on the others. He was also curious about the whole thing and where the yellow flower would fit into the painting.

What the bubble was meaning? Why several canvases?

_ What have you been doing for suddenly being so bouncy?" Hilde whispered into his ear. "Please tell me you didn't prank the dining room.

Duo rolled his eyes at the suspicion. He had done it once! It was five years ago.

_ I grew up Darling. But I was there. I saw things…

He offered her his most charming smile. It was easy, it was usual. She, as expected, answered with a teasing "Not _that_ much" that wasn't referencing to his overall height or maturity. It was a lie of course.

Duo knew he wasn't extraordinarily impressive but also that he had nothing to be ashamed for. And he knew how to use his attributes.

The doors opened to everyone's indifference. It was a bit surprising that the hostess didn't put more decorum to her surprise. But Duo forgot that fleeting though at the sight of the uncovered painting.

His exclamation resounded loudly in the silence of a dozen stunned guests.

_ That fucking _bitch_!

* * *

**Trowa Barton - AC195**

* * *

Another day, another road. This time, it was the short pilot driving and the scenery had sharpened to tall snow-capped mountains.

_ Do we have a destination?

'Maxwell', since it was the name he used to give whenever they stopped in a pension, glanced at him.

_ Do you have any landing point in Europe?

He shook his head, he had stolen his MS so the original set up would more likely shoot him on sight, and he still hadn't had news from the Professor since the Noventa debacle. It was starting to worry him greatly, he hoped the scientist was still safe.

_ So Italy it is.

So Italy it would be, through the Alpes, to some place around Torino where his companion had already send the list of necessary ammo to both replenish Heavyarm and their guns (plus some more). They were forbade to use their Gundam to attack Oz but they still might have to defend themselves.

It was night, with their truck tucked deeply under the woods, the two of them holed up in the large, but not that large, cabin. It was quite cold so high up the mountain and the blankets they had weren't that thick.

Always the practical one, 'Maxwell' had decided it was best to pile up the covers and share heat. And those dispositions seemed to have agreed with him since he went fast asleep mere minutes after they settled. He also had driven most of the day...

The late moon had risen and was already starting to descent and he was still not sleeping. The boy's hair was tickling his nose, the small body snugged against his lanky frame. It was disturbing at best. Apparently, his new comrade was having more effect on him than any of the magazines or videos he ever came across. Especially the soft sights of contentment he was uttering every now and then.

To the point he was getting in dire need of getting up and take some fresh air. Maybe find a quiet place between two bushes to take care of his distracting problem. The trick being to find a place secluded enough to mind his business and still close enough in case something happened.

He disconnected the automatic light and tucked the sleeper under the blankets before opening the door and heading toward his release. Still warm from their sleeping arrangements, lower lip held between his teeth to muffle any moan that might come out, he plunged his hand in his loosened pants. It didn't last long. He did moan.

The stars were bright that night, glittering between the young leaves. So he took his time wandering back to the truck. And his gloweringly awakened companion.

_ Nature's call." He offered as explanation. The brunet squinted at him, obviously annoyed, but said nothing and shed his cocoon to head for the driver's seat. Might as well start the day since they were both awake.

It took the engine's soft rumbling less than a quarter hour to lull him to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Duo Maxwell - AC203 December 24ht**

* * *

Duo couldn't shake the feeling of rage building in him. His eyes glued to the offense of a painting even as he was dragged out of the room by an iron grip.

God he hoped the kid had no idea…

_ Duo. Duo you there ?

It was Trowa. The tall man had been the one who dragged him then, and was currently holding him against a wall, a little away from the lunchroom's doors. More precisely right under that damn arch.

_ Did you see that ?! » Duo almost shouted in outrage facing the other's calmness.

_ … Yes...?

Apparently, Trowa didn't see the problem.

_ How can you not… ! She stole his wings dammit ! After all she's done, that _bitch_ dared steal his wings!

His voice must have increased in volume as he talked because next thing he knew, Trowa had his jaw in a firm grip and his lips sealed urgently. Incensed, Duo balled a fist and punched, sending the man a few feet backward.

_ Never do that again!" He growled, low and threatening.

Trowa held his hands up in surrender and closed back on Duo. Just close enough they could ear each other talking in hushed whispers. Just far enough to avoid any further collision. Duo closed his eyes a second.

The painting…

He had barely noticed the other shimmering bubbles, the big ones encasing each a different item, some smaller and empty. But the main part was still burned in his mind: Relena, facing the audience, possessively enveloping an Earth hiding most of her naked body. And behind her, protectively curled on either side, Zero's four unmistakable wings.

He passed a hand over his face, down his neck. The feeling was icky. Trowa still looked unfazed, maybe a bit wary.

_ What do you mean, 'after all she's done'?

_ What do I mean? _Seriously_?

Duo was flabbergasted, and angry, and… God, hadn't he had enough of a bad day? He was feeling too raw, too!... agitated apparently. He was pacing, grumbling. And Trowa had safely stayed a little away, his arms loosely crossed, waiting for Duo to calm down. He paced a few more before spinning on his heel and stalk to the taller man.

_ Do you have any idea how he was first time I found him? A dead man walking." He answered without pause. Trowa's arms had dropped, shoulders sagging. "I had to pull him out of his death-stunts many too many times.

_ I know, I let him. Too often... I _helped_ him." Trowa answered softly, but Duo was too incensed to listen.

_ And then he met her. Trust me, I still can't tell what he found in her...

_ She cared, that's all he needed. She wanted him to live...

_ But at least she gave him a purpose, something to go with. He fought for her!

_ I cared too, he _chose _to live for me.

_ Even after she betrayed what they were fighting for by giving in the Romfellers.

_ He kept trusting me despite everything.

_ And, then, when it was all nice and done, when she had what she wanted and the world at her feet. She dumped him!

_ I lost him. Because I was a coward.

_ She had him and she turned her back on him. He loved her.

_ He _respected _her. He loved me, and he was _mine_!

_ And now, after all he gave for her, all he gave up because of her. She dares steal his wi… wait… _What?!_

Trowa's words finally catching up to Duo's anger addled brain, and his jaw dropped to the ground. For a second, he wondered about a sick joke there, but Trowa's mournful expression was all he needed to realize it was the truth.

_ You… and Heero? During the war?

Trowa simply nodded. All anger drained from Duo, leaving him empty. Fucking day. He should have stayed in bed. He leaned against the wall, shaken. Now that he had calmed down, the other closed back on him. Shoulder to shoulder against the wall, in companionable silence.

Duo's mind couldn't help but jungle between Trowa banging Heero, that night where Heero had joined him on the Peacemillion and Trowa's seemingly being interested in Duo. After having had Heero? What did Duo have to attract a man like Trowa Barton?

_ He went to my room, one night.

Duo had no idea why he was spilling that, it just escaped his brain through his lips, again.

_ It was... maybe a week after Zero got to you and your memories came back. A little more? He was wrecked, I never knew why.

Now he had a hunch, Trowa's memory loss must have weighted hard on Heero. Then everyone had been so sure Heero was in love with Relena... When you added Quatre's crush on Trowa in the mix.

_ I heard knock on my door one night. When I opened, it was to Heero. He kissed me then pushed me to my bed and kind of… snuggled me to death?, all night long. Nothing more. But for some reason, I've always felt it was the night I lost him.

Duo shrugged.

_ I mean, I lost his trust. I can only guess, he realized I wasn't such a good friend after all.

_ How?" Trowa finally asked quietly.

_ Teenage boy with his crush snuggled tight into his arms. How do you see this going Trowa?" Duo answered crossly. He wasn't crossed at Trowa as much as at himself. Trowa nodded, he got it.

_ I knew. What you had. On the moon." What a nice way to place it… "We were still together, at that time. I wasn't jealous Duo, mostly glad he found someone to take care of him when I couldn't. That's why, when I saw him go to your room. I... let go.

_ Nothing happened," Duo repeated. "Whatever we had on the moon, stayed there. Heero wasn't... interested _that _way.

The silence fell again. Until Duo heard a mirthless chuckle from his side.

_ He said we were too much alike, that was why we didn't manage, even when… we came back together a few years after the war. He was right. It took exactly the same amount of time for me to man up and go find him, as him to give up and come to you.

_ You've seen him again?

It wasn't really a question, Trowa just said so. Duo was getting from surprised to thunderstruck there.

_ Where do I fit into this all…" He couldn't help but mutter. Seriously.

_ I like when you come to see me. You are nice, sweet, and a little funny." There was a crinkle at the corner of his eyes.

Duo elbowed him gently, not just a little. Duo was a lot of fun.

_ And sad.

His grin faltered.

_ I'm not…

_ That night, you let it all out. But I already knew. I could see it. You weren't happy with the status quo you were living by." Trowa had moved again, crowding him, just leaving enough space between them that Duo wouldn't feel trapped, his hand hovering near Duo's jaw.

_ I like you. I can't promise I'll make you happy, I couldn't with Heero. Not enough to balance… the rest. But I'd like to try, if you'd let me.

Duo felt warm, a little too much. And flushed. It had been a while since he had last been sought out. Like really sought out, not just checked out for a quick night. And Trowa was all kind of hot. And his low, caressing voice…

Duo shook his head. He shouldn't, he hadn't even talked to Hilde yet. Not seriously enough. Not the hard part.

_ You already know it's over Duo.

_ She doesn't. I can't do that to her.

_ You mean, pick someone else while not separated?" There was a rougher edge to his voice. Bitter. Duo flushed, but not from embarrassment there.

_ She always told me before pursuing any…" Duo didn't want to finish that, he didn't need to either; Trowas got it. His grip on Duo's wrist tightened a bit. When did he even get a grab of him.

_ I've been _waiting_, Duo. I'm not going to wait longer and risk someone else to whisk you away.

God, he was so freaking _intense_. Green eyes blown, darting all over his face. Duo's breath caught as Trowa was getting closer again, their chests brushing against each other every time they breathed, his lips ghosting over Duo's. What the hell was he waiting for?

_ You told me not to.

Duo blinked, lost. What kind of nonsense was he spouting now? Until he remembered.

_ I warned you to never kiss me when you don't mean it.

_ So… May I kiss you again?

As an answer, Duo took a hold on the back of his neck and dragged him in. The kiss felt even better that he remembered. Minus the champagne, it was all Trowa's taste and scent. And his hands firmly on Duo's hips. Claiming.

And Duo knew he shouldn't, really. It was wrong for so many reasons. But he hadn't been with a man in months. And never with a man taller than him, or that he could trust enough to simply let go and completely enjoy the moment, or anywhere as hot as Trowa. He could blame hormones. Truth is, he had rarely felt so much wanted, and not since a long time.

It was heady. Intoxicating. And Trowa was an incredibly good kisser. Thoughts and worries melted under that warm, searching, tongue leaving a puddle of needy goo behind.

_ Whisk me away." Duo breathed in his pretendant's ear; then yelped as Trowa simply hauled him up to carry him, koala style. His arms firmly around Trowa's shoulders, his nose buried in light brownish hair, a bubble of elated laughter caught Duo as he was carried outside and down the hill to the Circus camp.

To Trowa's trailer. It smelled musky, and wooden. It was all wood paneled after all. Old fashioned. It smelled like Trowa. Male. And lemongrass.

Then shirts were lost and Duo stopped thinking about how Trowa's trailer smelled like and started to focus more on how good Trowa's slightly callous hands felt on his skin. And God, that man had hands everywhere. And a tongue and…

* * *

Trowa was on his back, Duo sprawled over his chest, drawing doodles between and around his hair with a lazy hand, grazing a nipple now and then. He felt wonderfully sore. And a bit sticky but he didn't mind, not yet. That man, whom Duo could have sworn had no sex appeal half a day ago, was an incredible lay.

Hmm… It might seem a bit unfeeling said like that. Saying Trowa was a Sex God might be the after glow talking. So… somewhere In between?

And sweet. He was so sweet. All kisses and light strokes, followed by soothing deeper caresses, and long, slow, maddening thrusts that made Duo beg, loudly. Remembering made his interest come back to life. Duo curled a little more into the warm body under him. Let his finger trail further down. And down.

Until Trowa rolled them over, hands and mouth at the ready, and Duo tried, _further_ down. A firm grip halted him, shy of the crack of Trowa's ass.

_ Don't.

It was said with such a sharp tone, Duo stepped back, not even dared ask. This still might become an issue, later. Duo loved to bottom. But he wasn't a bottom. He loved to top too.

He let his hand get up, cling at Trowa's scalp and hold his head to look at him in the eyes.

_ Someday, you'll trust me enough to let me eat your ass. And I'll make it so good you're gonna meowl.

It was a promise. Duo was good at keeping his promises.

And would make extra sure to keep that one: Trowa had a wonderful ass. For now, Duo would settle with letting him slide again deep and slow between his legs and steal his breath with languid kisses.

* * *

_ Still… I can't believe you're ok with that painting." Duo argued after the next round of amazing sex.

_ Maybe you haven't taken a good look at it then.

_ I've seen plenty enough, thanks.

Duo grumbled into Trowa's abs; making them tighten under his breath.

_ Wonder if the kid had her model for him in nude or if it was some other gal, though.

This time, the movement under his head was deeper, Trowa raising on one elbow to look at him.

_ What kid?

Duo rolled over and looked up, a quirked eyebrow shouldn't look so sexy. Must be the swollen lips and tousled hair.

_ The kid who came to hang on the thing, apparently, he was the painter too.

_ You. _Saw_. him?

Duo had never seen Trowa look flustered. It wasn't a really good look on him.

_ Yeah, we talked a bit, actually. Well… I poured my heart out to a perfect stranger while he was doing his job. Then he gave me a surprisingly good piece of advice. And kicked me out before unveiling the paintings. Not sure if it can be called 'talking'.

Trowa had both eyebrows raised by now, utterly bemused. And maybe with a spell of fondness behind it. Added to the way he framed Duo's face, sweet and gentle. Warm lips on his.

_ You are unbelievable. Now, let's get a good peek at that painting. I'm famished.

As if the two had anything to do with each other.

Duo stayed on the bed and enjoyed the show as Trowa was going around the trailer, picking up clothes and putting a wash towel under warm water to freshen them both. He was beautiful even without the tights, and Duo didn't hold back the compliment.

Then it was his turn to get dressed. And scurry after the long strides up the hill. A famished Trowa was an impatient Trowa.

When they finally reached the mansion, Duo was surprised his… what? Boyfriend? Lover? Whatever… didn't go for the kitchen but directly to the dinning room.

There was light in the living, a soft glow coming from the lamps scattered across the room, dancing on the painting's iridescent bubbles. And the table was on. One end of it, more precisely, was covered with dishes, fruits, a bottle of wine and three plates.

But none of it really registered to Duo. He only had eyes for the small silhouette sitting on the table, his back to them. A shot of dark hair standing haphazardly over his head.

Trowa went to him, silent as a shadow, and took his hand to hold and kiss. Until the hand escaped his loose grasp and went to tenderly cup his cheek.

_ Hanata…" He knew that voice, he had heard it earlier that day. But now that it wasn't as hushed, he realized he had known it for much longer. Duo gasped. "You finally found it.

Trowa nodded, his hand covering the much smaller one on his face.

_ Good." Then Heero kissed Trowa like he was the most precious thing in the world. Slow and gentle like he had never seen him be. Almost, occasionally.

_I still love him._ The 'kid' had said.

_I loved him and he was mine!_ Trowa had said.

"Fuck…" Duo whispered, eyes downcast. He was screwed. He could still feel up his ass the shape of a man who was currently kissing another. He still smelled Trowa on his skin. Trowa who was holding his ex's waist right in front of him.

He shuddered. Shook his head and looked again. He couldn't help but huff: Trowa was already seated and digging his way through the leftover meal. And Heero was looking at him, a small smile on his lips. Duo should probably be angry, but it had been a long day, nerve wracking, and seeing Heero there. Right. Fucking. Here. Was the last straw.

Heero opened his arms to him. And Duo fell into them. One of Heero's arm around his shoulders, the other around his middle, a knee propped against his hip, lips on his pulse as Duo's face fell in the crook of a slender neck. The embrace was so painfully familiar, tears welled up.

Seconds later, Duo was sobbing his heart out.

_ I've missed you! You jackass.

_ I know.

_ I still owe you a punch." He grumbled. Heero chuckled: he knew that too.

So... the kid, who wasn't a kid, did have blue eyes. And Duo wasn't sure what all this was supposed to mean. Right now, he was too tired to let it matter.

Latter, he would forget it could have mattered.

* * *

**Trowa Barton - AC195**

* * *

He had never been more glad of his impassive face than the day he saw Heero Yuy hand his own gun to the young Noventa girl. Had he known the reason why they had been heading to the North coast of the Mediterranean see, he would have knocked the boy out and headed straight South until they put a desert or two between the pilot and his self-destructive nature.

When he had been told the other boy's plan to meet the family members of the man he had mistakenly murdered, he had wanted to scream and shake the brunet.

But he also knew by now that he couldn't have talked him out of his self-destructive plan. And... somehow, he also understood him a little better. The Wings' pilot wouldn't be able to forgive himself otherwise, and would keep on disregarding his life until someone told him it was okay to keep on going.

He wished he could be that person, but Max... no, Yui, wouldn't listen. Not about this, not knowing his disapproval of the petite brunet pig-pigheadedness and general inadequacy for team work.

Didn't mean he didn't like the guy. Because he did. Maybe a bit too much. He wasn't certain of how deeply people were supposed to care about comrades, he had never cared much before. Except for the boss, but he was the boss and he was the one who raised him and taught him how to be strong and everything useful he knew. So maybe it was more gratitude than actual care?

He pushed those thoughts aside, they were annoyingly complicated, and resumed him dutiful watch. Replenish Heavyarm's ammo would soon prove really useful. Oz had no longer any qualm about attacking the Alliance's bases.

* * *

Sicily, last name on a mercifully short list. As always, he was standing guard. Not that he could see much from his post outside the walls of the property when Heero was inside the mansion with the wife of the late Field Marshal Noventa.

He did strain his ears for the tell tale sound of a gun fire. One last time, to no avail. Heero came back unscathed. He was allowed to breath. For a while: Heero had many demons, each as destructive as the other. His enmity with the Tallgeese being one example.

* * *

They finally came back to the little hotel room facing the sea they had rented for a couple days. Trowa had a lot of tension to get rid of, so he headed straight to the tiny bathroom, blue and white tiles tainted ocre by the filtering sun. Shedding his clothes in a few fluid moves he stepped in the cubicle, under the warm spray.  
He could hear Heero move around just behind the thin wall, the soft metallic sounds indicating he was cleaning his gun. It never stopped to be enticing, hearing the sounds of the other, visualizing what he might do. So close.

He washed his body quickly before letting his fingers trail down to his crotch, teasing his length. Rapidly he was stroking himself in long, jerkish pumps, his forehead pressed on the cold tiles. He would blame on his less than stable position to jump and nearly slip on the tiles when Heero's worried voice came from straight behind him.

_ Are you hurting?" Heero repeated calmly when his owlish blink gave away his utter lack of understanding.

He swallowed. Heero was bare chest, bare foot under his fitting black trousers. And he was butt naked, under a shower, his erect sex in his hand. It feel eerily like he was a sudden participant of one of those videos the guys provided him, except that there were no women in their current situation.

Heero raised a growingly impatient eyebrow.

_ I... em... not really.

_ You sounded like you were in pain." Heero explained, completely unbothered by their various states of nakedness. "You usually do, but it seems to be getting worse.


	8. Chapter 8

**Duo Maxwell - AC 203 December 25th**

* * *

When Duo finally managed to disentangle himself from those arms that meant 'safe' in so many ways; it was to notice Trowa had already been through half the food the table was holding.

Heero chuckled by his side.

_ You might want to start digging before he eats everything.

Duo eyed the still large array of food, dubious.

_ Trust me, that would be no feat. It's like a black hole opens in Trowa's stomach after sex.

Duo blushed, self-conscious. Trowa simply grunted, something about Heero exaggerating or else.

_ Usually people don't talk about their ex's sex life with the new guy, yanno." He muttered halfheartedly while grabbing a chair and starting to pile a bit of everything onto his plate.

It took him a few seconds to notice the absence of cutlery noise following his comment. Now, Trowa was looking embarrassed. Heero seemed more curious, head cocked like Duo was the weird one there.

_ Would you feel more comfortable if I didn't?

Duo felt like a jerk. It had been so long, he had forgotten how little his friend had ever grasped of most social consensus. He just tended to say what he was thinking and to hell if it made people uncomfortable. That he cared to ask if Duo was uncomfortable now…

He caught himself scratching lightly at his cheek, a nervous gesture he had never grown out of, and snatched his hand back to try for a reassuring smile.

_ Nah, it's OK, don't mind me. As long as you don't go graphic…

Heero shrugged at his failed attempt at humor.

_ I won't need to. Not gonna spoil the fun." With a sly teasing smile on his features Duo had never seen before. It kept his mouth hanging a little. Until Trowa's hand came to close his mouth with a frown.

_ Manners.

Duo swallowed pointedly with a mild glare and kept on digging, stealing glances at his two companions. Mostly to Heero, it was so odd it took him a while to realize why he hadn't recognized him during their little afternoon chat.

_ You haven't changed one bit." He blurted inelegantly.

And it was freakishly true, Heero looked exactly the same as when Duo had last seen him. Short, scrawny build, and tussled hair. Maybe the hair was shorter, more well-kept. He knew Asian type tended to age differently than Caucasians; still, Heero, twenty-four, looked like a High-school Junior. No wonder he hadn't imagined one minute the cap-wearing boy was Heero, you just don't expect someone you've known as a teenager not to have matured seven years later. It was a bit eerie.

As much as the look exchanged between the two men.

_ Guys?..." He asked tentatively.

Trowa looked down his plate, Heero back to the far wall. Duo should really learn to keep his damn mouth shut. He toyed with his food, hunger mostly gone until Heero started to talk.

_ Out of the five of us, I was the only one _supposed_ to be a Gundam pilot. You and Trowa stole yours; Quatre and Wufei bullied the professors into letting them go on Earth with theirs. I was… Too small, too thin: in all too fragile for the needs.

Duo nodded, he had also been impaired sometimes by his own body's weakness when piloting Deathscythe, sharp turn for example tended to have a huge toll on the body. Gravity was a bitch.

_ So J had me undertake several medical... modifications.

Hear there 'enhancement'. This made him vaguely remember the quick look he had on the charts on display when he had retrieved Heero from that Hospital. He was no medic expert, but usually, red markings meant something was really wrong. And Heero's charts had been really red.

_ One of them had been accelerating the densification process of my bones. I stopped growing a few months before Operation Meteor.

Duo looked from Heero's back to his lover when Trowa snorted, a profound scowl scrunching his brows, just shy of downright glare directed at his ex. Heero seemed to shrink at the noise and Duo wondered what were the other modifications J had made his supposedly protégé undertake. Those Trowa knew about at least.

_ You didn't stop growing, you stopped _aging_." Trowa growled, making Heero's shoulder sag a bit more.

_ I'm still probably going to wrinkle and get white hair someday...

Trowa glowered.

Looking from one to the other, Duo decided he was starting to get what Heero had meant when saying they had trouble relating without hurting each other. Even if he was pretty sure Trowa was less angry at Heero than at J who made him agree to whatever had been done to him. He wasn't so sure Heero understood that.

Duo sighted internally. He had started it all, guess he should as well go to the bottom of it and ask _why_.

It got him an askance glance from both guys.

_ I just told you.

Duo shook his head, his fork waving for emphasis.

_ You told me why J wanted to do whatever he did. Not why you let him.

Duo almost regretted when his question prompted Heero to raise both his knees and hug them.

_ It didn't seem to matter at the time.

_ Because you didn't expect to live long enough…" Duo muttered with sudden insight. He has said so to Trowa mere hours ago, he had always known the teen as deeply suicidal, reckless to the point of self-harm. "When you let J do... what he did; you didn't _want_ to.

Duo wasn't sure why it made Trowa start, whether he had never come to that conclusion or because of the bluntness of saying it aloud.

_ It was before Operation Meteor." Trowa slowly pointed out; before the war, before _Noventa_ left unsaid.

_ I was eight when J enrolled me.

_ It was awfully young. How did he find you?" Well… Duo had been younger when he stole that MS from the Alliance.

_ Not sure. It might have been pure coincidence he found me not long after I had to clear away from the only person I ever knew and trusted. I don't think so." He shrugged with one shoulder. "I had nothing to look forward to besides months, years waiting to get another chance to finish…" Heero wavered and cut himself before finishing more firmly. "I said yes without hesitation.

There was an awful lot of holes it that retelling, hints at many things left in deep shadows. Duo refrained to ask this time, Heero's full backstory wasn't the day's topic.

_ Then?" He still prompted, feeling Trowa settle against his other side, thigh against thigh. Duo wondered whether the taller man already knew of it. Had he been told the full story or patched it up from occasional slips?

_ He completed my knowledge of weaponry and explosives, started me on piloting. When he found I was ready, he sent me back to Earth.

Back? It made Duo frown at that, he knew Trowa was a terran, but if there was someone he would have never imagined not being purely colon it was Heero. Has his namesake influenced Duo's mind?

_ I was supposed to blow up a MS factory, it was mostly R&D at that point. J hadn't yet given Zero up. It felt so good to be back though…" Heero's wistful sight drew upward, as if seeing the open sky through the roof. It reminded Duo how often Heero has skipped classes to wander into open space. Often coupled with recon, not always. Duo had a bit more struggle to get used to the unlimited horizon.

_ I can't tell why they thought it was a good idea to plant a factory in town. It wasn't." The last one was dark and thick. Duo swallowed, he was torn between reaching out to Heero and dig further into Trowa. Offering or seeking comfort. "I had to wait for the night to infiltrate the place anyway. There was a park nearby, I decided to simply enjoy it. I wasn't really in a hurry to go back up there.

Duo felt like Heero was stalling, not wanting to go to the point; like he had been stalling his return to the Colonies and J years ago. The way Heero shook his head, loose hands clutching to almost fists, kind of proved him right.

_ There was a girl, maybe six to eight, she had a straw hat and was walking her puppy. She thought I was lost, probably because she knew I didn't belong here. Had never seen me before when she was a regular. She gave me the flower she was holding, for no reason. She had picked it up for someone; she gave it to me. Because she just wanted to, because she was nice." Heero's voice had that soft, lulling quality people tended to have when lost in their own memories.

Duo wanted to close his eyes, badly, because he was starting to see where this was coming. And he was pretty certain he didn't want to get to the end of the story. But he had been the one to ask, he owed Heero to listen to the end.

_ I went in, put the bombs where they were supposed to go, I went out. Nothing easier, no one saw me. What _I_ didn't see was the MS standing, unattended, near the fence. Forgotten? Put there on display? A lazy soldier had decided it could be stored back later? I don't know, I didn't account for it, that's all what matter.

"When I detonated the bombs...

Heero didn't need to say, the blast must have propelled the giant armor suit outside the fence, outside the military perimeter.

_ It fell on the corner of an apartment building." At night, when everyone was home, sleeping. "I found her hat, and her puppy's body. I never found her, just… too much blood.

It was a terrible story, and it was obvious the scar it had left on Heero's heart was still itching. There was sadness on his face, not hurt, Heero had come to term with that part of his history. Duo wanted to reach out to him, this time is was Trowa who held him back, a hand pressing on his knee.

Duo looked at the painting, searching for the little yellow flower he had been shown earlier. It was there, near Relena left elbow. Along with a tarnished crown, an eternity symbol, a goldish cross, an Asclepios staff, a teddy bear and a few other items, each in their fragile, shimmering, soap bubble. The bubbles seemed to be escaping from the thick cluster of what looked like metal and concrete debris littering the bottom part of the piece. Raising to the soft pastels of the upper part.

It took time and a few adjustments for Duo to realize; the wings weren't on Relena's back but behind her, around Zero's body hidden in the spaces between the canvases. She had a fierce look, like she was daring anyone to hurt Earth, while the Gundam hidden in the shadows was extending its wings as far as it could to envelope her, Earth and the colonies.

So typical Heero.

There were also five trails each coming from a colony cluster and toward Earth, glittering softly in the ambient glow.

Duo understood two things there, the first was incidental: Lady Fox had complained about the quality of natural lightning in the room, but that piece of art wasn't meant to be displayed in natural light. The other...

_ That's what she was to you then. Relena." He didn't dare speak any louder than Heero had. "She reminded you of that girl. And you took her as a second chance to save that child.

Duo remembered clearly their first encounter, Heero menacing the female teen with a gun. Duo interfering, thinking he was saving the day to be turned into the villain of the show when she stood between him and her attacker.

_ You wouldn't have killed her. Even if I hadn't shown.

Heero shook his head, slowly. His hair _was_ shorter than it used to, Duo noticed idly.

_ I hesitated, I knew I would regret it, but I would have. I'm glad I met you that day.

Duo bumped his shoulder with the shorter man, didn't reach as well as he used to. Duo had grown up a few centimeters since last time. Heero hadn't.

_ You just say that because I brought your Gundam back.

_ Idiot…" But Heero was smiling. Duo's eyes drifted back to the painting. Now he knew why the flower.

_ The other items, they are other things significant for you, or is it about other people?

_ The cross is mine." Trowa piped in softly from Duo's side, their fingers entwined. Sounded like there was a story behind this too.

So, each item was significant for one of them. Them being the people who had a huge part in the war, or at least, one Heero knew well about. If Duo had to guess which was his, he would have said the cross, as an orphan raised for a few years in a church, fancying wearing a priest collar. But it was already taken.

The crown, easy: Milliardo, and the eternity symbol linked to is most likely Noin. The throwing knife could have been his, but not with those colored ribbons, it was Catherine. Asclepios' scepter was Sally, as a medic, so, for whatever reason, the red scarf must be Wufei.

After eliminating a few, he was left with a teddy bear he was pretty sure wasn't him, a military symbol he hoped wasn't him and a…

_ A basket ball? Seriously? Why?

_ You loved it." Heero answered simply, his arms loosely wound around his raised knees. And Duo knew it wasn't about the item itself, or the game. Heero spoke of being a normal kid for a while. Or pretend he had no worse things on his mind than how well he did on his last math test. A life he might have had, were he born anywhere else than in the lowest quarters of one of the poorest colony of the five clusters.

He was right, Duo had loved the time they spend pretending they were normal people. Partly because he hasn't been alone in it; for the first time since the Church's destruction, he had a mate his age.

After a moment of silent companionship between the three of them, Heero stood up to retrieve a couple packages from under the huge Christmas tree, one for each.

_ Merry Christmas.

One arm still wound around Duo's back, Trowa accepted his own gift with a one armed, warm, hug. Duo had no qualm giving his own squid hug to the wiry brunet. Then stared as he opened the small package.

Biscuits.

After seven years of complete silence, Heero had brought him biscuits as Christmas gift.

Leaf shaped biscuits.

The exact same biscuits he had sneaked to Pagan for years, just to learn they were already his.

He stared, gaping, at the biscuits, then at Heero who smiled to him, a bit sheepish.

_ I heard you like them.

Duo had never eaten those biscuits outside of his story times with the old butler; never in front of anyone else. Meaning, _Pagan _told Heero. Meaning Heero had kept in touch with Relena's butler, all the fucking time. And asked about him…

_ You're the fucking wizard!" He blurted suddenly, getting both boys to look up to him in surprise. Until Heero puffed, then outright laughed happily.

_ Good to see you haven't changed. Still don't make any sense.

Duo huffed and puffed his cheeks in annoyance, this time it was Trowa who snorted in amusement.

_ You. Are. The. Freaking. _Wizard_. Who meddled with my Doll!

_ You made that doll?

Duo crossed his arms as Heero's laughing face turned into gaping surprise. Seriously, he might not be a computing genius, but he still knew his way around!

_ Don't get all pissy, I'm impressed. If you don't mind, I'd love to meet more of them.

_ Yeah, sure. You know where I live." It wasn't really a question, Duo never got the chance to tell Heero, but there was no way their hacker-genius didn't know.

Heero nodded then reported his attention to the painting again. Duo opted to sneak a peek at what Trowa got from his ex-boyfriend. It was rectangular, a little longer than his hand and still wrapped.

_ Not opening it?

_ Later.

Duo couldn't help but wonder if 'later' meant 'when you won't be there to see'. It still was the most awkward situation he ever fell into. Not even when he sometimes crossed path with one of Hilde's conquest to the bathroom. He knew the other guy was just passing into her life. He was the one who would stay. Now, he was the other guy.

He should have never agreed to it, let Trowa drag him into yet another love triangle. One where he had the lower hand. A yawn made him turn to Heero who was stretching, revealing how toned his body still was through the fabric, then hoped from the table.

_ Time to go, before anyone gets up. And you might want to catch some sleep, big day to come.

His eyes and smile were softer than he had ever seen. A hand on his cheek, a chaste kiss on the corner of his lips. A warm but brief hug with Trowa and Heero was already halfway to the main door.

_ Take care of him, he's precious.

Since he was looking at none of them, Duo had no idea to whom he was talking. Still, he blushed.

Then Trowa took his hand and led him back to the trailer for another round of hot sex. Heero's gift proved to be a tube of massage oil doubling with lube.

Guess it meant Heero had known about Trowa's infatuation with him and agreed to it?

* * *

**Trowa Barton - AC195**

_ You sounded like you were in pain." Heero explained, completely unbothered by their various states of nakedness. "You usually do, but it seems to be getting worse.

He was gaping, and knew he must be blushing, he thought he was been more discreet than that. Maybe he should reevaluate his fellow pilot's hearing's range.

_ It's ok, I'm fine. I mean... you know how it... gets...

He might have never stammer in his life until now.

_ Actually, I don't. I can't." Heero softly divulged, alternately looking between his softening shaft and a cross between tiles, off to the left.

He thought back to his previous observation about the other boy's lack of pilosity. He leaned his back onto the warming tiles. It was a weird place for talking, it was an even weirder subject to talk about but he had a feeling it might get long. At least by their standards. He twisted the tap off.

_ It will. Some people are late bloomer.

He tried not to stare at Heero, he could still see the brunet head shake slowly through the mirror. Still, the other boy did not volunteer any more explanation, asked a question instead.

_ Why do you do that? That often? Even if it does 'not really' hurt?" Heero's candid bluntness was helping finding the whole situation a bit less awkward.

_ I can't help getting hard sometimes, biological urge. And it tends to be distracting. Getting off regularly reduces the chances I would get hard at inconvenient times.

He was still wet and it was getting a bit chilly, despite them being in Sicily and summer closing in.

_ Like I said, unlike you, I was the intended pilot of my Gundam." Heero kept on softly. "J... didn't want me to get distracted from the mission.

He was glad Heero still hadn't made his mind between looking at his fast shriveling crotch and that particular cross between tiles, because he couldn't have hidden his shock and horror to save his life.

_ And you let him?" He blurted before he could school his reaction.

Heero shrugged: "I didn't see much point no to. He did wait until the last minute. I think it was to let my voice deepen a notch or two. Doesn't mean I can't feel.

This time he looked up directly to his face, caught his gaze.

_ I feel... when you touch me.

He swallowed, hard, at the admission. Heero's clear, straightforward, gaze hadn't wavered; almost like daring him to denies he did too. The soft sound of naked feet on wet tiles distracted him from the mesmerizing gaze. Until he realized that gaze was suddenly way closer. Until Heero's hands came to rest on his chest, testing the skin; callused hand sliding up and down his pecs and abs. It felt nice, but not as much as he expected, not as much as the women's moans in those videos let expect.

Heero let his hands fall at his sides, disappointment creeping up his face, slumping his shoulder.

_ You don't feel it." And it was only because he had spend the past few weeks with the smaller teen, trying to decipher him, he was able to hear the hint of disappointment in his voice.

Heero made to step back, when he recovered enough sense to move forward and reach out. Enveloping the lithe body with both arms and drag him against his own. _That_, he felt, the relieved sigh Heero made against his still damp skin, the way the tense body relaxed and molded against his, the flutter of eyelashes, the soft smell of cheap shampoo mixed with motor oil and the ointment they were still using for Heero's tender wounds.

It got even better when he started to let his hands wander the marred skin offered to his touch. Heero was as sensitive as he wasn't, and soon, at his urge, stopped trying to stifle his reactions. Heero's crotch might not even try to make an attempt at showing interest, but like he said, it didn't prevent him to feel. And the moans he managed to draw out of him when adding his mouth and teeth into action went straight down to rekindle his own interest.

Maybe those videos might prove at least a bit useful after all.

He wasn't sure who or when it happened, he found himself kneeling in front of a naked Heero, flushed against the white and blue tiles, tasting every centimeter of the body trembling under his hands. Heero's nails scraping his scalp, his moans filling the small bathroom, he was no longer cold.

Then a sharp intake and the light scratches became almost painful. The trembling increased worryingly. He stopped to look up to Heero's flushed face and slightly panicking eyes.

_ Don't stop." Was breathed haltingly before Heero grabbed him fully and kissed, hungry, full of teeth and wet tongues. Their bodies sliding seemed to make the trick, whatever trick it actually did, in a low whine Heero shook one last time and calmed down, slumped against him. He waited for a few labored breath, holding the other tight before asking.

_ Are you ok?

The only answer he got was a vaguely modulate hum from the crook of his shoulder and hands that strayed to play with his curls, lightly teasing his still unfinished business.

_Let's bring this to bed.

_ You sure?

That was the day he learned never to question Heero's certainty about whatever he was offering. Much later, after having learnt new ways to use the ointment Catherine had provided for Heero's wounds, the very thorough control said Heero had over every muscle of his body, that a bundle of nerves didn't need hormones to send sparks and make Heero whimper when hit, and how completion felt different when sheathed in smooth heat than with his hand, he fell into the deepest sleep he ever experienced.

He also discovered how it felt to fall asleep and wake up in someone else arms.

He decided he quite liked it.

* * *

Yay! three followers.

Arigato gozaimasu.


	9. Chapter 9

**Duo Maxwell - AC203 December 25th**

* * *

When Duo woke up, it was to the sound of splashes of water, Trowa was already up and about to start his day. He yawned leisurely and padded around in search of clothes to put on. The trailer, despite its wooden old-school paneling was modern and heated. Still, it was the middle of winter in central Europe.

A sly grin spread on his lips upon noticing his fuck-buddy?Lover?Boyfriend? had let the bathroom's door ajar. He pushed it open, just enough he could lean against the threshold and admire the view, hoping for something hot like "Trowa in all his naked glory rinsing his hair, lean muscle rippling under tanned skin". He got "Trowa, a foot propped on his opposite thigh, rinsing suds from between his toes".

_ So _not_ sexy." Duo laughed, as auburn hair fell haphazardly over the tall man's face, mostly hiding an unimpressed raised eyebrow.

_ I didn't know I was supposed to put on a show.

Duo laughed once more as Trowa straightened up and move in to claim a chaste good morning kiss. And grope some while he was at it. He heaved a sigh and let his forehead rest on Trowa's torso, a hand trailing down his abs. It felt warm. Trowa was warm, well build, soothing and patiently unmoving.

_ I'm gonna have to talk to Hilde.

He had no idea how to start that conversation, nor how it would finish. Especially because, well… she couldn't have not noticed Duo had slept somewhere not in their room.

_ You will. But you don't need to be alone. Even if I won't be able to say much in your stead; I can at least be there.

_ I… don't think I want you to. I'm afraid it's gonna get ugly and" Duo got his head up, chin on his lover's pec' a soft, self-deprecating smile on his lips. "I don't want you to see all of my bad sides right away.

_ I've seen you goad an officer trice your size with the foulest mouth I've ever heard and handcuffs the size of your forearms. I know a bit about your bad and good sides. But if you don't want me there… It's your choice, I was just offering.

_ Thank-you.

With that, Duo pushed the other man out of the bath-room to get his turn on the shower. It was all good-natured teasing and hearty chuckles. It was so long since Duo last felt the giddiness coming with a new love. In fact, it had been once before, with Hilde.

Maybe.

Maybe it had just been the giddiness coming with being a teen and discovering sex.

Maybe it was the same after all.

Didn't matter. He liked being with Trowa. He knew he couldn't come back to Hilde. Not with that 'children' thing hanging between them. Duo got dressed quickly, borrowing one of Trowa's pair of briefs, and before he got more time to brood, they were climbing the hill back to the mansion and breakfast.

That's where they crossed path with one fuming Chang Wufei. On the vast terrace surrounding the house. That's where said Chang Wufei threw a mighty hook that sent Duo sprawling on the cold tiles with a disgusted sneer.

Duo had to grab Trowa's pants to prevent him from charging the Chinese young man. Then scramble to his feet when it didn't prove to be sufficient.

_ I did deserve that punch to the face." He started low and easy. Before letting his anger show in a deep growl. "But not from you. Whatever you have against me, do man-fucking-up and goddam say it! Stop brooding and sneering like a freakin' child. I'm no mind reader you jackass!

Somehow, Duo's rant was confusing his attacker who stepped back. But, there goes the saying: anger fuels anger, and Duo had more than enough with the treatment he had been handed by the dark haired Preventer.

_ You know what," he deflated, fucking shitty 24hours, "don't even bother. I don't care anymore. Just shut the fuck-up and get out of my sigh. I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore. I've had enough of that.

He picked up his boyfriend and headed to the winter garden where the breakfast was served, snubbing the few witnesses who came attracted by the ruckus and his flabbergast assailant. He was through with Chang Wufei, for good.

Thankfully, Hilde wasn't there when they arrived at the table, it was still quite early. But Duo suspected Hilde wouldn't have come down at any hour; not after her long-time boyfriend left her the way he did.

So Duo ate quietly and quickly, grateful to Trowa for keeping questions at bay. His glares were to par with Heero's this morning. It was heartwarming to have a protective partner.

And since Trowa used to be _Heero's_ boyfriend, he most certainly knew how to draw the line between protective and coddling.

Thirty-six large, sand colored, tiles between the winter garden and the stairs, twenty-four marble steps up the first floor and three doors left to their room. Their… figure of speech. He knocked. Dark, polished, shiny wood. Red oak?

She knew it was him. After eight years, she knew his way to knock. She didn't come to open, just yelled at him to come in. Hilde didn't sound like she had been crying or else. Still, he opened the door carefully, waited a second and slipped into the room when no projectile came him way, as carefully closing the red oak door behind him.

And stared.

There were baggage sitting near his legs. At first glace he thought she was throwing him out. Then he realized those were Hilde's things, not his; and she was nowhere to be seen.

_ Hilde?

_ Here." She came out of the bathroom and leaned against the threshold, little dark dress, silky stockings and heels. She was gorgeous, and Duo couldn't help the spark of desire seeing her so pretty. He knew how good it felt to be tied by those firm legs, kissed by her alternatively hungry and teasing mouth.

_ I… I don't know what to say. I want to apologize, but not sure about what exactly." He was leaning on the red oak door, he liked to pretend it was red oak, he had really no idea. "At least for disappearing last night.

She nodded, neutral.

_ What happened? About the painting." She specified.

_ You know how I feel about her, about the whole" He waved his hand in a vague gesture. "Heero mess.

She nodded again, she knew.

_ I always figured that he would steal you away from me once he came back. I never suspected Trowa Barton might have had a chance.

A sob lodged itself into his throat.

_ Is that why you've been keeping your options open all that time? Because you though I… what? Was with you by default?

He couldn't believe it. He had fantasied about Heero. It even could have been called a bad crush on the guy, long ago. But he also knew it was not meant to be. He hadn't been _waiting_.

Well… yes of course, but not _that_ way.

_ I'll be attending Lunch, since there were two missing guests, we postponed the gifts exchange. There is a shuttle for 02-X566 leaving this evening then I'll hitch a ride home.

_ I'm sorry.

_ You should be." There was ho heat behind her words. Something like lassitude, defeat. "Me too. I should have been more attentive, when you told me you didn't want children. I didn't realize it was such a deal breaker to you.

_ I'm sorry." He just couldn't think about anything else to say. He couldn't think, at all.

She came to him, painfully familiar, cherished, and molded herself against him one last time. A warm, friendly embrace, full of regrets and shared memories. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, squeezed.

_ You know, I wasn't with you because you look like him. I really love you.

_ I know.

She squeezed him tighter for a few seconds before stepping back and around him, through that damn dark wooden door.

_ I'll miss you Duo.

He cried. Only after she left, the perfume he had offered her for her birthday trailing behind.

* * *

When Duo finally calmed down and went to the bathroom to wash his face and evaluate the damages, he was too pale and had puffy red eyes, he found his suit carefully hanged and ironed. He almost cried again.

He was almost late for lunch, but Trowa was still there, arms loosely crossed, leaning against the wall, waiting for him a few steps from Duo's door.

_ Hey handsome." He smiled a bit weakly. Trowa didn't answer, he simply fell in steps with Duo, their hands brushing. Duo liked that Trowa didn't feel the need to fill the silence. He wasn't sure he could stand empty words right now.

He needed the strength to get through the whole meal's mindless chatter. Good thing it was in the lunch room; the reminder of Heero's presence was as comforting as the warmth of Trowa's thigh against his.

For once, Chang Wufei refrained from uttering any side comment against him. Otherwise, Duo would have decked him. And for reasons he wasn't sure of, he was pretty certain Trowa wouldn't have minded holding the Chinese man for him.

The meal was quiet, the children had already eaten and were playing somewhere else with their own gifts. The pile under the tree had already significantly reduced since last night. The gifts exchange scheduled for after the lunch won't last. Good. Duo wasn't in the mood and had no gift left to receive. Hilde had offered him his coat in advance and Heero last night. He didn't expect more from anyone.

Once the lunch and the gift unwrapped, Duo could honestly not recall anything he had in his plate. The whole after-noon was a blur of chatter, mixed scents of food, vine, coffee and too much chocolate.

The only thing he clearly remembered between then and now was Hilde's departure. He had helped her get her things downstairs and waited with her for Relena's chauffeur. Suitcases in hand, she had given him one last brief hug under Wufei's watchful dark eyes. He was waiting for the same car to catch another shuttle, to the Caraïbes.

Duo had stayed on the terrace, looking at the car fading away until it disappeared through the wrought iron gate. He had heard Quatre coming through the French window, waiting to be acknowledged. He wasn't in a hurry to do so. So they stupidly waited together, until Quatre sneezed and couldn't pretend he wasn't there anymore. Then he came up to Duo's shoulder and crossed his arms over the banister.

_ I don't understand. Well… No one understands. But they aren't really your friends, and I'm not sure they are trying.

_ 'Twasn't perfect to begin with yanno.

_ Nothing is.

_ She wants children. Someday.

_ And you're that adamant you don't, you would end your eight years old relationship so abruptly?

Duo let his shoulders drop a bit further. He was grateful Quatre was trying to understand without judging him. He was. But how to explain to a sheltered boy who grew up with a doting father and a flock of sisters (even if he hadn't known several of them until their patriarch's death)?

How to make him understand that the closest thing to parents he ever had was a pair of ecclesiastic who made vows of chastity and an old sweeper who never married? That he didn't even know if he was orphaned or if his parents simply hadn't wanted him, not even bothered to put him in an orphanage.

How could he explain his earlier memories filled with hunger and a keen defiance toward every grown-up? The eleven foster families who turned him back to father Maxwell because they wanted a sweet trusting child and he was anything but?

He was as screwed as they made it, and at least, he was conscious of it: he was in no shape of any kind to bear the responsibility of another life, a child's well-being. One who completely depended on him, all the time and not just during a fight or a war.

So he didn't try, hoping that Quatre was enough of a friend to still not judge him even when he didn't, couldn't, understand.

_ Yes Quatre, that's not something that can change. So, better let her go now than later.

_ And about Trowa?

Duo smirked, Quatre's expression clearly stated he hadn't seen that coming. No one had, not even Duo, despite the kiss they had shared two years ago. Guess Trowa had, of course, and Heero knew apparently.

_ He is refreshingly unobtrusive and understanding, and he is a very welcome pain in my ass." Duo couldn't help but tease. (or rub it in Quatre's nose? or test the groud?) He wasn't sure of his own motives about that. Notwithstanding the fact that Duo was currently sporting a nicely smarting bum.

_ I didn't need to know that." Quatre muttered, without bitterness or jealousy. That was why Duo loved the blond; such a sport.

_ I really am over him Duo." Quatre added after a glance toward him. "So, no I don't mind. Actually, I'm glad you found each other.

_ It might not work out so well. And I didn't set a good precedent about how I break-up.

_ I know Trowa, he's not one to let go so easily. And you're as stubborn as he is.

Duo wondered how well Quatre knew their most quiet companion, did he know about his years long relationship with Heero. But if he did not, it wasn't Duo's place to tell. So he kept quiet; watching the circus's staff disassemble the big top.

Waiting for Trowa to come back from helping them.

_ You've seen him didn't you?

Startled from his reverie, Duo turned to Quatre, almost surprised his friend was still there.

_ Who?

_ Heero.

The answer let him speechless. How did he know? Then Duo remembered the painting, everyone knew from whom it was. Still...

_ What makes you think that?

_ It's the first time in seven years I'm not seeing you search for him.

_ Last night." Quatre nodded.

_ You haven't realized then." Duo didn't voice his question this time, a raised eyebrow was enough to convey his confusion. But Quatre plain refused to explain his comment.

_ You've seen him since he left.

It wasn't really a question, it sounded simply obvious for Duo that Quatre knew something about Heero.

_ Once. He hadn't tried to hide too well, probably in case something drastic happened. I tracked him down to the art school he was enlisted to and showed at his first exhibit. He wasn't too pleased with me and made clear he wouldn't see me unless in his own terms. I still got to see his work before he shooed me away.

Then Trowa came back from helping his folk packing-up and Quatre quietly slipped away.

_ So?" Duo dragged the vowel with a gentle smirk.

Noticing his too red ears and cheeks, Trowa urged Duo inside first and led him to a warm fire in one of the libraries.

_ So you know, I like the cold." Duo growled good naturedly as his lover undressed him and set to gently rub his hands. The taller man hummed absentmindedly and kept with his ministration until Duo was thoroughly warmed up.

_ The Boss' not too happy, but Relena payed well for last night show. I'm getting the week off. Then I'll have to go back. At least until he finds a replacement for my part, or I train one.

_ What about the partner you had last evening?" Duo asked, because the guy obviously was really good, and he didn't remember him being part of the usual crew. Trowa marked a pause before answering with a shrug.

_ He's not a performer, this was a one time thing.

Duo gaped, for an amateur, the guy had been good. More than good.

_ And what's his job?" He asked without expecting an answer.

Another shrug came his way. Trowa wasn't sure himself, he knew the guy was a programmer but never asked more about his usual day job.

_ One hell of a geek." Duo whistled. Trowa huffed a laugh and agreed whole fully.

* * *

**Trowa Barton - AC195**

* * *

_ So... is there a name I can call you with that hasn't been borrowed?

_ Not that I know of.

They had, despite it being unsafe, added a couple nights to their stay in Sicily. Heero was still naked, half splayed over him, and toying with his curly hair.

_ Mind if I keep calling you Hanata then?

No, he didn't, even if he had no idea what it meant.

_ Its equivalent in Common would be Darling." Upon seeing his raised eyebrow, Heero elaborated just a bit, it was Japanese. It suited well with his features, even if it was pretty obvious he wasn't pure bred.

_ A name?" Heero Yui simply couldn't be his real name, too much of a foretelling.

Heero shrugged.

_ Several, Oyaji and I traveled a lot under different names. He used to simply call me Bozu or Kimi, means 'Boy' and 'kid'. Guess I must have been given one, at some point, I don't remember it.

_ So no family either..." He concluded. The Barton Foundation really knew how to hire people who wouldn't been looked for or had nothing to loose. It took him a while to dare ask the question that had bothered him ever since Heero had stepped into the bathroom.

_ What he did to you, is it permanent?

_ Yes." Heero didn't seem to mind too much the question, so he went on. Came what came.

_ Why did you let him?

That one made Heero move, raise his head to contemplate him for so long he wasn't sure he would get an answer.

_ I hadn't planed to meet you." It would be as much of a confession he would get from Heero Yuy, or whatever his real name might be.

The next day, reality would catch up, with Oz finally finding their trail and that Noin officer coming to them with the weirdest offer.

He hadn't wanted Heero to take the bait and accept that Zech Merquise's challenge. He didn't sit right with him to let the enemy have such a high hand over them. Heero being Heero, he knew that no matter their blooming relationship, his decision to go along wouldn't get swayed.

So he didn't even try, just made sure Heero knew what he was doing and settled for looking after his lover the best he could. Being there.


	10. Chapter 10

**Duo Maxwell - AC204**** January**

* * *

It was both late and early when Duo finally let his baggage drop near the sofa of his small home. Depressingly empty. Late from Sank's point of view, early morning in L2 time frame. He wasn't that tired, having slept quite soundly in the shuttle, blame Trowa's idea of 'good byes' for that.

Hilde has used the week Duo had stayed on Earth with Trowa to gather her things and move out. He knew she would, it was still very depressing to see. Without Trowa by his side to distract him, Duo was becoming painfully aware of the mess he had made with his life.

Not that he wished he had stayed with Hilde; not given the circumstances. Maybe a tiny part of him regretted he hadn't stayed blissfully oblivious of that little discrepancy in their views of the future. That little thing called children.

His reason said it was better this way. His empty home, usually so full of noises and Hilde's messiness, said otherwise.

Guess he'll have to get used to live alone. At least until Trowa managed to fulfill his engagement toward the circus and they could move in together, here or anywhere else.

_ Tsk... wake-up boy! Not even a week in and you already think about moving in together. That's what got you in this mess in the first place." He admonished himself while pushing his stuff further into the room and went to the old fashioned Hi-Fi to put on some music. He pushed the volume up until his could feel the drums vibrate through his teeth.

Then he set on storing his stuff away, the plush coat in the closet, dirty clothes in the washing-machine, warm shoes and pull-overs in their boxes, to wait for the next Christmas trip to Earth. The few clean clothes left in the drawer.

The rays of sun starting to shine through the (shadowed) mirrors carefully placed inside the inner ring of the doughnut shaped colony found him sitting blearily at his kitchen table, a strong black tea in his hands and the packet of maple leaf biscuits laying open nearby.

Now what?

Even with the music still blaring, the silence was deafening.

Might as well get back to work he guessed.

So he pulled his laptop open, send a video message to Trowa telling him he made it safely back home, the shuttle having mercifully stayed put together long enough to reach the Haven, and checked his mails for any new customer, followings about some orders he had made...

He had a well wishing mail from Quatre, an electronic post-card from Howard, two requests for Dolls and his order of copper was, again, delayed. Checking the spams just in case something important got mixed up into it, he found one with a most unusual subject "May, 12th 195", no sender's address and an image as attachment.

Duo frowned at it. What kind of jackass would try to send a hoax to him? He ran a few scans on the mail and joint file before daring open it. He gaped.

_ You freaking wizard...

It was a picture of him, obviously coming from some security footage that he was certain had been deleted from whichever school they had been to, sporting a huge smile and a sports outfit. Hell despite the grain, he looked younger than he had ever remembered being.

Heero was right, Duo had loved those moments of respite spent from boarding school to boarding school, pretending to be normal among normal people.

It reminded him about Pagan's Doll. He hadn't promised anything but it was posing him a challenge he didn't really want to turn his back to. Before going back, he had made a copy of whatever programing Heero had made to his Doll. He would just have to pull out his own blueprints and wrack his brain over it.

Duo opened the copied files, finished his mug of cold tea, filled it with warm water to infuse, then swore; his sexed up brain had forgotten his last incursion into the depth of those lines of code.

He had always known Heero was a freak, but that took the cake. He almost literally had nothing to go by, no way to touch whatever his friend had done, let he risked crashing down the whole construct. He'll have to work around it.

_ Gee... Thanks 'Ro, making my life complicated even when you're not purposefully meddling.

And since there was no one to see, he didn't mind letting out a smile that completely belied his grumbling. This would be fun.

pickaboo

To fend off the gloom of his deserted home, Duo quickly decided to bring back one of his working table from the workshop and his first collection of mini-Gundams. They were currently lined on the sideboard, even Shenlong despite Duo's long pondering over its presence. But his owner being an ass or not, this was where the fifth Gundam belonged.

So Duo had been seated at his working table, pushed under the living room's window for both light and entertainment, pulling his hair out designing his next Doll, when the chime of Trowa's call drew a happy sigh and an even happier smile out of him. Time for a break!

He stretched as heading to the low table facing the sofa and the laptop sitting nicely on it. A click later, his hungry grin softened at the sight of Trowa's fond smile and auburn hair. From what he could see he was in his trailer today.

Sometimes Trowa would call from the truck while on a long drive so Duo's chatter could keep him entertained and awake. Duo liked when Trowa would turn the cam over and show him the view he had from his truck. Duo would chat about whatever was going through his head while working, and Trowa would listen and throw a comment here and there. A bit like when Duo was visiting the circus, but with a view.

Sometimes it was a quick 'how are you/Chloe say hi to Duo' call from the lodge before the show.

When Trowa was calling him from the cluttered depth of his own place it usually was for some heavily sexy time.

And with a smooth deep voice like Trowa's, whispering to his ears sweet orders to undress himself, to touch his own skin, under his lover's hungry gaze. It was amazing, even if not as amazing as the real touch of Trowa's fingers.

Trowa was never talking as much as when he was directing Duo's action for both their pleasure.

Sexed out and his legs like jelly, Duo decided a nap was in order, and screw the clock that said otherwise, Duo was mostly living at Trowa's clock, since he was the one with the most biding schedule. So he buried himself under the throw-blanket and watched Trowa snug into his own bed, thousands kilometers away.

Technology's wonders.

* * *

It had been a month since Trowa send him back to L2 with a dozen hickeys doting his body, they've all faded into nothingness by now. Duo wouldn't have stayed sane that long if not for their occasional video calls, living alone definitely wasn't one of his forte.

The evenings had proven to be the worst. So he was going out, but most of the places he knew were either ones where he was bound to cross path with Hilde (and they had both agreed over the phone two weeks previous that they needed time to be able to be friends again) or the bars where he used to find his male one nighters. It wasn't easy to explain to guys who knew him well for the Humpty Dumpty kind of relationship he used to have that he was know firmly taken. By a circus performer who was roaming Earth all year long.

After a few well aimed punches in some parts or others of the ones who wouldn't understand, it became more agreeable to go have a drink and some harmless fun (like striping down his partners at poker) and go back home with a slight buzz (Duo never got drunk, too dangerous) and a clean conscience. Warmed up by the simple little thing that was called : having company. He might even be making friends.

Now that Trowa was sound asleep, Duo softly shut down the communication and went for a shower. He still had work to do.

* * *

Inspiration was eluding Duo, five weeks after his return from Earth and Trowa's arms, he still hadn't gotten used to live alone. And he wasn't sure he ever might.

Shit. He had less than three days to finish his sketches before sending them to the customer for approval. None of the proposals he had already made agreed with him, too pimpy, not cuddly enough, too cuddly. He hadn't even been asked for something weird or fancy dammit.

A Doll suited for a eight years old girl who liked painting, puppies and Asian old tales.

Should have been a piece of cake. But Duo was stuck and he knew Trowa was in for a long week of double representations (afternoon and evenings) in a big city on the American continent. So too busy to bear Duo venting his frustration on him. Not that Duo wished to do so. Trowa was his boyfriend, not his punching ball or psychiatrist.

Eventually, he dropped his pen and booted his laptop. It was an old thing a bit long to get ready, in the meantime he poured himself a glass of mango juice. Once the antique ready, he opened the folder he used to save the pictures Trowa got into the habit to send him and put them on a slow diaporama.

It had started when Duo was still wandering Earth at Trowa's arm. They had been exploring a small town near Sank, Duo babbling as usual, when the tall man had suddenly stopped to stare at something he couldn't fathom.

When asked, Trowa had discreetly pointed at a young girl trying to teach her dog to sit on command. She would have been four at most and was ordering around a few weeks old mutt with the seriousness only a child this age could muster. Duo had loved the soft smile the sight had brought on Trowa's lips.

It had been the first occurrence, not the last. So, soon after he went back to L2, Duo had asked Trowa to send him (whenever he could) pictures of the things that drew his attention the way that girl had. He knew Trowa wasn't a talker, still, Duo wanted to know more about his new lover, about what he liked.

Hence the now small collection of snapshots Duo had gotten from Trowa. His observations of the world around him were surprisingly (or maybe not so?) full of kindness and benevolence. Trowa really was a sweet man who didn't like to laugh at people's bout of misfortune.

It was a soothing diaporama to shuffle through, landscapes, snapshots of people going with their lives, fluffy pets doing cute pet things... The kind of thing one might find by the dozen on the web and Duo never bothered to look up before. But those were relevant because they were landmarks of Trowa's journey far from him.

He stopped the browsing on a picture taken four weeks ago, if he remembered well it had been during a festival of sort somewhere in Asia. A teenage girl and her much younger brother were carefully going down a wet stoned stairway. This wasn't what had piqued Duo's interest. The two kids were clothed in some ample, traditional outfit tastefully ornate and wearing paper masks figuring a monkey for one an a fox for the other.

_Eureka! said whoever.

He launched the video com and let an enthusiastic message for Trowa "Sweetheart, you saved my day. Love you." and shut down the laptop to saunter back to his worktable and pens. Now he knew exactly what he wanted.

He was sketching several faces with more or less canine features when it hit him. His gaze slowly turned to the innocent laptop, his cheeks reddening.

_ Shit... Worst confession ever.

Trowa only called him back two days later. Two days spent fretting over the slightly inconsiderate message. Duo wasn't sure whether he was peeved or relived that his boyfriend didn't bring that particular subject up.

The good news was that Trowa would come for a few days next week. No more phone sex, they would get the real deal for once.

* * *

Duo swore as a bunch of cyclists crossed his path. He was already late enough as it was!

Since when alone he tended to use the mini-shuttle, he had borrowed Vern's car to get Trowa from the terminal and for the duration of his sojourn. It would be easier and cheaper than calling a taxi every time they wanted to go somewhere.

If Trowa would let him out of bed.

Or if he would let Trowa out of bed.

Four days wasn't much. Nowhere near enough in his book, but he wasn't going to complain. He understood Trowa had previous engagements he couldn't ditch so easily. Not only that, but Duo would probably be disappointed if Trowa had abandoned the circus, his almost sister and young niece so easily, eventually. After the high of a new love affair toned down and he found his brains back.

The two-wheeled nuisances now gone, he moved forward again, engaging to the car park nearest to the arrivals. Not that the shuttle-port was that big. He wasn't living on the main habitation unit of the colony cluster.

It could have been called 'suburb' if they were on Earth.

It was mostly called 'The Dumpster' by their neighbors, and 2X3056 by everyone else. He didn't mind, he was born there, had grown there, and it was his place.

Luck really wasn't on the side of tardiness. He had to go all the way to the bottom of the parking lot to find a suitable place for his borrowed four wheels. So he, not ran because he didn't want to stink a bear when greeting his lover, but walked fast enough to be a bit out of breath when he arrived before the large panels displaying the time and gates of arrival.

_ You gotta be kidding me...

A sun flare heading their way had delayed all the flights for a good two hours. Meaning he had 100 minutes to twiddle his thumbs. And his parking ticket was going to cost an arm.

Didn't, matter. Tonight, he was getting some. And some more.

And maybe he wouldn't wait 'till tonight. So 89 minutes were not that much.

Turned out, it had been a good thing the car had be all the way back to the end of the parking lot, and the ticket did cost an arm. They hadn't even be able to wait long enough to turn the ignition on.

_ I've been wondering, how did I manage to save your day by not being there or available?

Duo almost missed the red light. He had hoped that particular message had been completely overlooked. Now, he wished this wasn't an introduction to the other of the two sentences.

_ Your pictures. I was stuck on a project nearing deadline, and missing you, and a bit bummed. So I took a break and put them on diaporama, one gave me the idea I needed. The customer loved it. Actually, I have an appointment with her tomorrow, to show her the final project before I start the real work.

Trowa nodded. Duo knew it wasn't ideal and he wished he could have spend his lover's whole stay with him but that woman has come all the way from L4 for business and couldn't reschedule.

_ It's ok. You don't have to put your life on hold for me.

_ I want to!" Duo countered heartily. "At least until I get to see you for more that a few days at time.

The little frown on Trowa's forehead had prompted the last one. Besides, it was true.

* * *

Duo felt, ... mortified.

Why the hell couldn't he keep his mouth from running like that? It had been such a nice evening so far. A nice day even.

The meeting with his client had gone well, apart for a few minor changes, the lady had been pleased with his offer. For once, the child the Doll was meant for had been present and openly eager to get his present, curious about how it would be made and its working mechanic. A bright mind as Duo loved them.

It had taken longer than he had first hoped but Trowa hadn't minded. When Duo found him at the parlor they had set the rendezvous he was happily going through his third cup of ice cream, double Chantilly and topping.

_ You'd better never stop working out, you'll triple size in no time.

_ If you'll help me,..." And if that wasn't full of inappropriate promises, Duo never heard one.

Then they made a tour of the, admittedly meager, important spots of the colony, strolled across the one park that deserved that name after a hearty diner and ended up in the hole Duo spend most of his outing evenings.

He knew he had been threading a fine line there, most of his past one-nighters were clients of the Nightshade. But, as he explained to Trowa before daring leading him there, he also had actual friends and still liked the place itself.

_ So you're putting me on a show so your ex's would stop trying for a redo.

Duo had blushed, deeply embarrassed, put like that, it really didn't feel like a nice thing to do.

_ I'll gladly make sure no one would dare try to steal you away." Trowa had dangerously purred right besides his ear, making Duo shiver. Only that man could be so damn possessive of him and not get a beating for it. Duo was truly smitten.

And grinning like a fool at the, many, envious looks he got when entering the Nightshade at Trowa's arm.

_ They're all staring.

_ Because you're dashing.

Duo had first brought his boyfriend to the counter, smacked Eiden both cheeks before introducing Trowa and ordering their first round.

_ An ex of yours?" For daring an outright question, Trowa must have been quite put of by the kissing.

_ First rule when you like a place: never date the bartender, or any of the crew really. You can never know what they might put in your drink if you disappoint them.

Trowa has nodded, unconvinced, but not pressed the subject. It was a mid-week night, so there weren't many customers and none of Duo's usual drinking buddies. Yet.

Jeon was the first to come by, and must have called a few others after eyeing Trowa with a concupiscence that made the acrobat shift uncomfortably and Duo slap the guy _almost _playfully.

_ Stop leering, he's not a player and very much taken.

Twenty minutes later Duo's usual mates were all flocking around his famous mystery man. Who was decidedly not comfortable with all that attention.

_ Are you done?" Piped a mezzo-soprane with a very bored tone. "You all gushing like a flock of wild geese. Worse than gals. Let that poor cutie breath, he looks like he gonna bolt in the second.

The boys all turned to the newcomer, looking at them like they were tomato stain on his white linen overall.

_ That, or I kick your collective asses before tossing you lot in the gutter.

Somehow, the casual acknowledgment of his combat skills seemed to make Trowa relax, even so slightly. Leo's warm and ambiguous-less smile made for a nice bonus.

Aside from the crew, Leo might have been the only gay haunting the Nightshade who had never tried to hit on him. Always calm and silent, small and thin, he shouldn't be that imposing; when you didn't know that this dark blond head with impossible eyelashes was a Tae-kwon-do champion.

Duo quite liked the guy, even if (or maybe _because_) he wasn't his type, and reciprocally. Leo knew how to keep the troublemakers in check with a single contemptuous look. Furthermore, Duo was pretty sure Leo knew who he was, or who he used to be, and never raised that touchy subject. And now, he probably suspected Trowa to be another of the Five.

Turn out, once Duo's friends and not quite friends stopped staring and started chatting around, Trowa relaxed a lot. He even seemed to enjoy their retail of Duo's most embarrassing moments. Especially the Karaoke nights...

Duo feigned more embarrassment than he actually felt (he was a horrid singer, so what? One couldn't be good at everything.) just because the amused glint in his lover's eyes were worth much worse shame.

Then they came back home, a little more than tipsy for some really sweet sex. And that was where Duo currently was. Sexed out, just enough inebriated to be loose thongued and in a cuddly mood.

And he just let it out, again, whisper-mumbled while snuggling against his lover warm body.

Those three little words. "Oh...shit" was the very next thing that crossed his mind. Rule number one, or a least top ten, in a blooming relationship : never say 'I love you' right after sex. Or drunk. Triple that when you add the two.

That wasn't serious.

Once again, Trowa slided on it and feigned not hearing.

Duo wasn't sure whether he was relieved or feel even more down. He snuggled a little closer and peppered Trowa's elbow with soft kisses.

He knew, someday he would mean it with all his heart. He was already in good way. But would Trowa believe him, then?

* * *

**Trowa Barton - AC195**

* * *

Once again, he didn't know if he was more relieved or annoyed. Despite all the adjustments they made to his Gundam to better suit Heero's fighting style, the fight was not looking good for them. Then that girl, a civilian who appeared to know Heero quite well, had to come and put her nose into their business. And she even managed to make his pigheaded lover listen to her.

However he was glad that stupid fight was over, he couldn't help feel a bit put-out. Heero had not mentioned Relena Darlian when they exchanged intels about their contacts and the other pilots.

It was looking like he had more competition than just Maxwell.


	11. Chapter 11

**Duo Maxwell - AC204 February**

* * *

It took two bites for Duo to put down his fork and look up at Trowa for reaction. His lover didn't look more convinced than he was.

Duo grimaced as green eyes met his.

_ Not good.

_ This is... nutritive." Trowa answered diplomatically.

_ We should go somewhere out.

Duo was about to get up and trow away his pitiful attempt at cooking when a warm arm snuck around his waist.

_ It's okay. Trust me, I can do much worse. Do you have mustard?

Still wondering how sincere Trowa was, Duo put his plate back on his table mat and went to dig his fridge for the aforementioned condiment. There was none there, he did find some in the back of a cupboard.

_ That's the spiky kind of stuff.

_ Fine with me. I've always had a hard time calling the sweet spiced kind 'mustard' anyway.

_ And it will cover the burnt taste better." Duo finished.

_ It's not that burnt.

_ Now, I know you're placating me." Duo admonished, waving a forkful of mashed potatoes and pork roast. And maybe regretted it a bit when Trowa, wet hair sleeked back and fitting blue T-shirt, leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms.

_ I've grown up to merc's food, a mining colony's mass, then Catherine's. I'm not picky. And you really don't want to try my cooking. Once, I burned _soup_.

_ Then how do I fit in your cooking scale?

_ Above me and the mercs, just below Catherine." And Trowa resumed his eating, with a nice helping of the added condiment.

Duo was used to eat, and serve to Hilde, his own cooking without trouble. They learnt together with quite a lot of trials and errors and she was no better at it than him. That's why they had so many delivery flyers. He couldn't help be much more self conscious with Trowa, he really didn't want to make a fool of himself with him. Especially since, according to Heero, Trowa was quite the eater.

_ Guess I'll have to improve a notch till next time you come over." The potatoes really smelled unappetizing.

_ I didn't ask you out for your cooking abilities Duo.

_ You know what they say: 'you get a man with amazing sex, you keep your man with daily good meals'.

At least, it had the fortune to make his lover laugh, it was a soft and quiet laugh that made his shoulder shake a bit.

_ Never heard that one, who says this kind of stuff?

_ Most women, actually. And some guys too. I first heard it in high school." Duo tapped his fork against his lips. "Although it was a much tamer version then.

_ High school?... You mean, when you were hiding in boarding schools with Heero?

Strangely, Trowa seemed thoughtful about that.

_ Something the matter?" Duo asked, concerned. But Trowa chose to ignore the question and Duo rather not insist. He hated too much being backed in a corner to do the same to his lover.

Still, he would have to at least try a little more. If only for his own pride : he wasn't going to loose to the Harpy-mother-knife-thrower Catherine. And he wanted to keep that man.

* * *

When Duo finally finished to put away all the dishes, it was to find Trowa staring at the mini Gundams, expression indecipherable, and he wondered if he shouldn't have stored them away. After all, he didn't (yet) know enough about his tall and sweet lover to know how well - or not - he was dealing with their murderous past.

He went to sit on the back rest of the sofa, shoulder to shoulder with his lover. Wondering what the brunet was thinking about.

_ It's not that I was that proud of what I did, or to remember the good times. They were terrible times. I just... I thought I missed my buddy. Now, I guess what I was missing was the friends I made then. Despite the circumstances.

He was still looking at the miniatures, he could feel the green eyes turning toward him.

_ Do you regret, what we did?

_ Nope... not really. Not when you consider that the option was to let either the Barton Foundation destroy Earth or OZ and the Romfeller basically enslave the Colonies.

They stayed silent for a little while, shoulder to shoulder.

_ We've been terrorists. Mass murderers, even if our targets were always military. Sometimes I wonder : how am I still alive. Why am I free to live however I want and be happy. People have been thrown in jail to never see the light again for much less.

_ The winner gets to write history and decide what's war crime, or necessary sacrifice. Ultimately, we won and became the lesser and necessary evil.

Duo nodded silently.

Yeah... guess they did win. It never really felt like though. That probably was why Duo usually did his best to let the past where it was and move forward. Maybe, someday trying would be enough. He quite doubted it, with him choosing to live with a man who went through the same grinder. But honestly, who else could understand?

_ I've been told they are how you started your Doll business." Trowa delicately changed the topic, gently starting Duo on one of his favorite rambling subject.

Maybe Trowa did like Duo's boisterous rambling and not simply bore with it. Knowing them both, Duo suspected Trowa's life with Heero must have been terribly quiet.

_ Why call them Dolls? They seems to be more like robots than actual dolls.

Duo shrugged, because it sounded less scary, more suited for children. It had only occurred to him much later : the Taurus had also been dubbed as Dolls. Maybe it was what was bothering Trowa about his creations.

_ They look like old fashioned dolls most of the time, even if, ultimately it depends on the customer's choice. One of them made me do a Doll looking like a plushie. I had to thin out the whole skeleton to make some room for the stuffing without making it look over inflated.

Making sure the final product was both sturdy and soft to the touch had be a real headache. But it was also one of his proudest achievement.

It was just a bit unnerving, the intense way Trowa was staring at him right now. If they were in a chick flick, he would have called it the girl friend love-struck heart eyes. They weren't and Trowa was far from girly.

_ Erm... Something on my face?" He finally asked, a finger idly finding his way to his cheek as he looked down. My, Duo get your acts together, you're being the shy flower there!

_ No. I like how you light up when you talk about your job. You're passionate, it's... refreshing.

Ah... Duo blushed.

_ Sorry.

It earned him a soft chuckle, in Trowa's deep tone, that went straight downstairs.

_ You're supposed to take the compliment Duo, maybe say 'thank you' if you feel the need. Not apologize.

_ Sorr...

They laughed together. It was a soft, intimate laughter, it made Duo ache and want even more. There was no way he was going to let that relationship go to waste the way he had let the one he had with Hilde. He _was _going to make it work, no matter what.

Something must have shone through his expression because Trowa frowned in turn. And a finger went to probe between his eyes.

_ Don't please.

Duo blinked, caught off guard. There was way too much fragility in those green eyes. It didn't suit well with the strong, aloof image Duo had of the man. Then he remembered Trowa's kind eye on the world, the similar look he had during that night, two years ago, under the arch with a bottle of champagne. No glasses.

_ Don't what?" He asked, almost too softly to be heard. He couldn't get his voice to work more than that.

_ Don't strain like that. Don't try too much. Don't... tip toe around me so carefully. Trust me, playing a relationship that way is not working.

Meaning he had already tried, with Heero. It hadn't worked out. Still...

_ Aren't we supposed to make some efforts for the other in a relationship? I mean, I haven't made too many with Hilde, because we were getting along, we were _seemingly _understanding each other so well, I didn't think I needed to. Look where it got us.

Trowa opened his mouth, closed it without uttering any sound then shook his head and raised a hand to rub at his eyes. All the obvious signs of a person who didn't know how to make his message come across. Eventually, he made his mind and took a side approach.

_ I know there is more to you than just a few traits, but during the past few years, what I've come to like the most about you is your honesty, the way you speak your mind and get easily enthusiastic about the subjects you like. I don't want that to change because you're too concerned about... me? Us? Not messing up?

_ Sorry, I... For all intent and purpose, you're my very second relationship. And, Hilde and I, it kind of just... happened. So gradually we just woke up one day and realized we were actually there. I'm not really good with the 'dating' thing.

_ You think I know more?" Trowa's voice held some self-derisive laughter. Well... said like that. Duo shook his head: as far as he knew, the tall man had had only one relevant person in his life : Heero.

Trowa shifted to kneel in frond of Duo, his back to the sideboard holding the mini Gundams.

_ I promise, I'm not going to hold back and I'll tell you straight when you do or say something I don't like. So please, try not to worry yourself too much, keep being your spontaneous self.

Duo nodded, his hands gently wrapped by his earnest, opened, lover's big ones.

_ Please bear with me." He murmured before leaning in to kiss the man softly. Slow and sweet. God... how did Heero manage to loose such a man and let him go to Duo's benefit?

Unlike their previous heated encounters, that night, they made sweet love. And it was delicious. Even if he sometimes had to redirect Trowa's ever wandering hands toward more specific places. No, his ankles were not erogenous.

* * *

Duo was pleasantly spend, refreshed from a quick shower, and waiting for his guest to come back from his own ablutions. Trowa's return treated him with a fabulously toned torso, wet and naked. He purposefully let his admiring gaze wander down to the too small towel. Nope, perfectly small enough, he amended as the mattress dipped under a propelled knee.

_ Who made the first step?" Once again, his curiosity got the best of himself and took over his tongue before he caught it.

Trowa paused, then smiled. Impishly.

_ Heero did. He came into the bathroom while I was... showering, he had decided we'd rather do it together.

Duo laughed at the matter-of-fact tone Trowa had taken. Given how blunt and bossy Heero could be, he could really well picture it happening that way.

_ And you had no reason to deny his fancy.

_ His proximity had been very 'distracting' for quite a while at that point. It was very welcome.

Duo couldn't help but giggle at the still straightforward answers. It probably should be awkward, but it was Trowa, it was Heero. And there was nothing not funny about the so 'un-glamorous' pilot hitting hard and forward on his companion.

Trowa shut him up with a warm kiss and they settled down for the remainder of the night. Tomorrow afternoon, Trowa would already go back to Earth and the Circus.

Duo didn't sleep. He'd rather stare at his lover's neatly defined face, now and then moving a stray strand of auburn hair out of his line of sigh. It was striking how soft his features were.

He didn't really felt it growing, so he was caught by surprise when it burnt through his chest. A powerful desire to cherish that man, with all his heart.

_ Please come back soon. You feel good being there.

* * *

Despite Trowa's plea, Duo did his best not to let how disheartened he felt about letting him go. Yes, he wasn't going to pretend he didn't care or was chipper about sending his man away. There was no point in making Trowa feel guilty about abandoning him behind like a lonely puppy either.

He was pretty sure he didn't manage as well as he hoped.

It was time to give the car back to Vern, and maybe hit a bookstore and find a cook book for dummies. Trying to not over-think his blooming relationship didn't mean he couldn't make some efforts.

Not to stay a lousy cook who would burn everything was the least he could do. And, no, he also didn't have the objective to become the perfect house-wife. At least, trying to improve his cooking would give him something to do (other than work) and forget a bit about his too empty home.

* * *

**Trowa Barton - AC195**

* * *

He heaved a sigh while closing his laptop. No dice, again.

_ Still nothing?" Heero asked from the table he was using to clean their guns.

He shook his head, dejectedly. Didn't even bother to ask Heero how were things from his side, he would have said something if he had news from J.

He mulled over it for little longer, he didn't really want to, but he knew they, all the Gundam pilots, were stranded for now. Their formidable weapons rendered useless by the threat under Lady Une held the colonies. OZ was expanding, free of any hindrance.

They needed to find a new angle, one that did not involve the Gundams, and find out what happened to the professors.

_ I'm going back." He finally let out. "Find out what happened up there.

He was almost certain the clank that resonated when Heero put down his last gun was louder than strictly necessary. It would be the only expression of humor on Heero's side.

_ You be careful. You've met three of us and know enough to find the last one if needed. If they catch you." Heero took back one of the gun and pointed it at his head.

_ I would be disappointed if you didn't." He simply acknowledged. The gun was put back on the table and whatever remained of the evening was spent mapping each other's body to remember for the times to come.

He left with a last kiss and no more words. They rarely needed them anyway. They were of similar breed, they understood.

* * *

Nothing.

In the end, he and Heero had split the research area to cover ground faster.

It was the last of Barton's lair he knew. Out of the five Gundam's launching places, none was left standing. Well... technically they were mostly wormholes stuck between the colony's open ground and outer shell. Still not much left behind. No data, no computing devices, none of the components or machinery used to build the Gundams left. The places hadn't simply been trashed or vandalized. They had been raided. Same as Heero's side of investigations.

OZ had the professors. The purpose was easy to guess.

Remained the question : where?

* * *

Eleven chapters, and absolutely no feedback.

Should I stop insisting and remove that story?


	12. Chapter 12

**Duo Maxwell Ac204 March**

* * *

In life, there were good days, and bad days. And terrible days.

Days that started well and went quickly downhill, and days that started poorly and brightened unexpectedly.

Today was one of those days that started poorly and just kept getting worse making you wish to just crawl back to bed and sleep the day off, hoping the next would be slightly better.

Except he didn't even had that luxury. Up at wee hour for the delivery of a shipment he was supposed to take at home and ended up waiting for him at the workshop. Since the delivery guy had other thing to do than wait for him, he had to call three friends before finding one close and awakened enough to keep guard on the shipping until Duo managed to get there.

Of course, the bus was late, because more detour due to maintenance. Nino, Howard's former second was quite late for him own workday and somewhat pissed. Meaning he had to haul the whole delivery by himself.

It just became worse by the hour.

Until the very last drop : when, at seventeen, he got a phone call from an angry customer asking him to come meet her at a parlor on the other side of the colony.

Once upon a time, Duo had met a nice, charming old lady, who wanted to offer her delightful grand-son a most beautiful gift. He crafter her a lovely doll, with long flaming hair, Trowa-green eyes (because, man, even before he started having a crush on the guy, Duo couldn't have helped noticing those amazing eyes) and one of his most accomplished learning abilities to widen the number of games they could play together.

Too bad, the charming old lady seemed to be a bit senile, or hadn't seen her grandson for a very long time and her fond memories were pretty far from the young teen's temper. When Duo arrived to the parlor, a fancy place that really didn't belong in the Dumpster, it was to be greeted by one horrifying sigh.

Duo had learnt, after he had to say good-buy to his Death-Scythe and a good part of his life, not to project on objects. Despite the care and pride he put into creating his Dolls, Duo never empathized with his creations. They were work of art, painstakingly crafted, and they were just that : objects meant to be sold.

Still, he couldn't have helped the wave of pity then outrage he felt when his eyes landed upon the disheveled Doll, torn clothes, and mangled arm. How the Hell did they managed to almost wrench one of his Dolls arm? They were made to be sturdy.

Their skeletons were made after the Gundams schematics after all.

_ ...don't know what she thought... ... humiliate my son! ... ... Always resented me... ...

Through his own anger and disgust, Duo didn't follow much of her rant. Only that she was an utter bitch, and next time he should up the random variable to his Doll's decision making so they wouldn't win too much.

Because all this was just for that : once the game's rules and strategies memorized, this Doll couldn't lose against a spoiled ten year old brat. Except for the games of chance like 'snake and ladders' where you could just follow the dices.

Utterly drained by all the restrain he had to muster to not murder the bitch, Duo ultimately picked up the Doll, did certainly not offer for a refund _they should have just come to him, he would have easily fixed the issue_ and turned his heels before his restrain snapped.

The place was closer to his house than the workshop so he decided to head straight there, Doll in arms.

_ Boy, you're a mess. What did they do to you...

When stepping in the shuttle with so many people staring the Doll hid its head into his neck, he didn't think he could get any more depressed. He realized he was wrong as soon as he opened the door on an empty living room and remembered Trowa telling him he wouldn't be available for a few days.

He settled the Doll on the counter/dining table and seated himself next to it. He was hungry, somewhat, but couldn't muster the will to either try to fish out something edible from his fridge or call for delivery.

He crossed his arms and flopped his head over with a loud sigh.

That was one of the worst days. Even going to bed seemed too much of an effort.

He jumped from his slouched position when a firm, polite knock echoed in the too empty living room. (empty, besides the clusterfuck of takeout boxes and discarded cans he only cleaned once a week. Or so. And yes, his attempts at learning how to cook had been short lived. Sue him!)

Who could that be at this hour? He wasn't expecting anyone. He pondered about simply pretending he wasn't there when a second knock decided for him. He got up, then blinked at the Doll, left arm still extended. Was it petting his hair just a second before? And, thinking about it; a Doll shouldn't be self conscious and hide from stares.

That consideration flew from his though upon opening to his late visitor.

_ Fuck me...

A delicately raised eyebrow answered him.

_ Don't think so. You look like Hell warmed over.

_ Gee... Tactful as ever 'ro." Duo opened more widely to let Heero, his wheeled suitcase and sailor bag get in. He did feel like Hell, not even warmed over. "Nice to see you too.

It felt even more weird to see Heero in his living room than it had been to see Trowa there for the first time. And at least, then, he had been warned. He blushed at the mess his place was in.

Baggage at his feet, Heero looked around, taking in the large living room doubled with an open kitchen and the table/counter to separate the two spaces.

_ Erm... the guest room is door on your right," Duo suggested, anxious to be able to clean up a bit without looking too ashamed of his living's state. He completed: "The bathroom is behind the kitchen, my room far left.

So Heero carried his stuff to the guest room, and Duo was left with little time to tidy-up a bit.

_ Recon he could have called first." He muttered, half to the Doll, half to himself. The Doll who had been staring at the guest room door, looked to his direction and followed his hurried trail.

Duo shrugged and started on sorting out the trash; the few food leftover to the compost, cartons and tin cans for recycling, glass bottles he would bring back to the shop. Colonies were a small microcosm, nothing could be left to waste. Especially there, they didn't have the money to bring more stuff from Earth so often.

He hadn't had time to do much when Heero came back from the bathroom. Duo frowned as the rush of water he could still hear.

_ I'll do it, you take a bath.

The time his addled brain took to register the words and try to formulate a protest, Heero had already dragged him to the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Duo huffed and passed a hand over his face. Ten minutes. Heero had popped back into his life ten minutes ago. And he was as bossy as ever, like he never left.

Next he rubbed his stomach, old remembrance of the several times Heero had punched him in the gut. Geez... Well... the bath was already drawn, might as well not waste it.

He turned the faucet off, shed his clothes and soaked in the warm water, braid dangling from the hem. He really didn't want to have to dry his hair tonight. Too tired.

He woke slowly, first to the smell of food cooking, then to the goosebumps raising on his skin when he moved in the cold-ish water.

_ Heero?" Some part of his brain registered that he was naked with his friend leaning over the bathtub. He should feel at lest a bit self conscious about that. Probably.

_ Hm. Still me. Your bathtub needs a heater.

_ It's not an _ofuro_.

_ Too bad.

Heero got up to grab his bathrobe and hand it opened to Duo. Naked ass be damned, he wasn't going to pass the offer. Heero helped him into the garment, roped it close snugly around the waist and went away as a breeze.

_ Dinner's ready, don't fall back asleep." Duo glared uselessly at the half closed door.

After a quick detour by his room to get some comfy clothes, he followed his nose and growling stomach to join his unexpected guest.

_ You had all this in your bags?" He chanced, taking his usual seat at the counter and eyeing the several dishes spread over it. A move caught his eyes. The Doll was still seated where he had put it but now sported a sling to support its broken arm and curiously bending over the plates and bowls.

_ I made do with what I found in there.

Duo was impressed, he didn't even know he had that much left.

_ How much of it was past the expiring date?" His hungry stare turning suspicious.

_ Doesn't matter, cans and dried food doesn't get spoiled that easily.

Duo sniffed once and shrugged. He's eaten far worse than an outdated can and still lived.

_ Let's dig then!" He concluded with a little more enthusiasm than he really felt. Until the first spoonful of broth. "Hell... that's delicious!

Heero, smirked, shook his head and thanked his praise as he served his own bowl.

Come to think of it...

_ Where did you find those?" He barely remembered having china. They were beautiful, delicate dishes painted with tiny fishes in deep blues and soft, goldish browns.

Heero's spoon indicated the sideboard that held the mini Gundams. Where Duo and Hilde had stored the stuff they barely ever used.

Now... thinking about it, he vaguely remembered finding Quatre's gift (because who else would be rich and foolish enough to get him such precious dinnerware?) too fancy to use as everyday dishes and put it there for special occasions.

Turned out, the only parties they ever threw were definitely more the kind to get carton plates out than china. And Quatre never ate home whenever he came.

_ Tableware is meant to be used, Duo.

_ They look expensive, we were afraid they would get chipped.

_ Better chipped than forgotten to dust off in the bottom of a cupboard.

Duo was still too tired to argue, so he conceded the point to Heero.

_ You sure it came from Quatre though? It's not really his style.

Nice food was reinvigorating, and put some warmth in his insides, but couldn't Heero stop with his twenty questions game? At least for today...

_ Who else? Duh. Unless you're loaded and are the one who send them to me alongside the palm-tree Quatre promised me. No one else I know could afford it.

Well, technically, Howard probably could, he also knew Duo well enough not to gift him with easily breakable things. Relena too, but he knew it didn't come from her. Her gifts were always of the edible kind.

Heero looked at him for a long time, blank. until Duo squirmed and looked away. What was he supposed to say? He cocked a curious head at the Doll. It seemed to listen intently at their conversation, eyes darting from one to the other. It was also plugged to Heero's laptop (since it definitely wasn't Duo's, it must be Heero's).

Duo has half a mind to tell his friend off about that. Heero could have at least asked before he started to meddle with his Doll.

When he looked back to his friend, he wasn't at the table anymore but coming out of the guest room a clothed wrapped bundle in his hands and handed it for Duo to unwrap.

The bowl was chipped in three places and stained with paint. Otherwise, it was almost identical to the one Duo was eating from. Lighter blue and greenish birdies; still, it was obviously from the same artist.

_ Wufei offered those to me and Trowa when we moved in together.

Good thing Heero had waited for Duo to put the bowl on the counter before speaking. Chips and paint stains would have been the least of concern...

Wufei?

_ Oh...Shit... Guess he _had _a good reason to be mad at me then..." He muttered dejectedly.

_ There... wasn't any card?

Thankfully, Heero's tone only held mild, neutral puzzlement. The last thing Duo wanted to hear right now was judgment or pity.

Duo shook his head. The package had arrived during one on the 'dew week' when the colony systems would send more moisture at night to help the crop growth. Coincidentally, Duo and Hilde had not been there during that week. When they did come back, it was to find a lump of a dried up package siting next to a blooming palm tree.

They had to soak it whole in the bathtub to extract its content.

Heero simply nodded his acknowledgment and served some more fried rice in Duo's plate.

_ It was four years ago. Lots of nasty stuff has been said in between. I'm... not sure there is anything to salvage by now.

And as bummed as he was about having ignored Chang Wufei's extended hand years ago, Duo wasn't sure whether he wanted to try. They never really had a good relationship to begin with, and there had been so many things between them since then.

The closest they might have become was during one of Duo's darkest hour, that became one of his worst nightmare. And Wufei had mostly ignored Duo's flailing to concentrate on surviving. Just a little longer, just in case Heero or Trowa would come back and deliver them.

In the end, their savior had been tho one they least expected. They hadn't known at that time how poorly the two other pilots had been faring against Quatre's misguided rescue attempt.

Heero said nothing but got up to the jacket he had hung behind his door. When he was back, it was with a small, white carton in hand. Carton he handed to Duo.

On it, a number. Just that, a phone number, bleeding black embossed on stark white, and nothing else.

_ What is it?

_ The number of Wufei's current residence. For whenever you feel like giving him a call.

GMT+1. Duo wondered, was it Europe or Africa? Italy, according to Heero.

_ Desert?" Heero offered. Duo nodded and tucked the card in his repertoire. Tonight was not the night he would make a decision about one Chang Wufei.

It was only later, after Heero shoed him to bed once the dishes washed and dried, Duo wondered how Heero knew where Wufei was staying. And why did he have cards with his phone number on?

Pickaboo

Duo woke up to the soft sound of dishes clattering together and the aroma of fresh coffee. Mind still blurry from the first good night sleep he had since a long time, he picked up his discarded night clothes to put on on his way to the source of the enticing scent.

He stopped at the corned, taking in the homey feeling of having someone cooking in his kitchen. How many times had he woken-up after a rough night to find Hilde flipping him pancakes, humming to herself and whatever tune playing on the radio.

Except it wasn't Hilde in her babydoll, it was Heero in a blue undershirt and yoga pants.

Heero wasn't flipping pancakes but steering a pot of white-ish stuff that smelled of honey.

He wasn't humming, he was talking to the Doll in a language Duo didn't recognize. Could have been Polish, or Japanese, or a mix of both.

The little thing still had its arm in a sling. It was kneeling near Heero, again looking intensely at was he was doing.

_ Are you teaching it to cook?

_ She was curious, so I showed her.

Duo huffed, it was just a puppet a bit smarter than most, they couldn't be 'curious'. Then he shrugged, people had a tendency to humanize things to feel more at ease with those, maybe Heero was one of them. It wouldn't hurt anyone if he were.

_ And... care to show me?

_ Take your coffee and a seat. It'll be ready soon.

Duo pouted a bit, mainly for show, and headed to where the coffee pot was supposed to be. In was supposed to be, supposed was the important term.

_ Heero? Coffee?

_ To your right. Near the toaster." Came the immediate reply. Heero hadn't even looked up whatever he was doing. As on cue, the coffeemaker was gurgling its finish. Duo filled the two mugs waiting by its side and handed one to the cook who drained half of it in a swig.

_ Why would have I ever pegged you as a tea guy? You chug coffee even more than I do.

_ Racial stereotypes?

Probably.

Heero came by with the pot he had been steering in hands and Duo absentmindedly reached for the hot pad and landed it between their bowls.

_ Actually, Trowa's more a tea guy.

_ He didn't complain about the coffee when he came.

_ That's where the problem lies, he barely ever complains." Heero answered with a sad smile. "Well... one of them. I'm not exempt of annoying habits either.

_ You still turn to grommeling when deep in your work?

Heero glared and bit and smiled softly at his attempt at lightening the mood. Heero's talkativeness had been a running joke between them. Other kids often said Duo was stealing all his words or idiotic stuff like that.

He sneaked a peek to the white-ish stuff.

_ Looks milky...

_ I didn't bring dairy in my bags if that's what you're implying." His tone was dry but his eyes crinkled playfully. "I found almond and hazelnut milk in your drawers.

_ Did you look for the expiring date?

Heero snorted.

_ I didn't realize you would have become so bothered with that kind of thing.

Duo blushed and a finger went to scratch lightly at his cheek. He wasn't, not really. But he barely had made any groceries since a few months now, except for the few days when Trowa had been there.

_ I... My cooking sucks." He admitted at last. "Most of what's left... I didn't buy, so I don't know how long it had been around.

As answer, Heero simply filled their bowls with the stuff.

_ Itadakimasu.

_ I'm digging." Duo answered as he plunged his spoon into what turned out to be some kind of porridge made with semolina instead of oat, honey and raisins. Hilde used to make it cold as cake.

It was good. Eating with company was even better.

* * *

**Trowa Barton AC195**

* * *

He shut down the screen. So this was what the last pilot looked like.

He was almost glad to be further from that particular brand of bad new than Heero. He wouldn't like to have to kill one of the few people his lover seemed to care about.  
Better let him chose how to handle Maxwell's capture. He knew, killing Maxwell was the safest option, and he knew Heero had come to the same conclusion. But Heero's heart weighted a lot more on his decision making than his own did, or more than Heero liked to admit. So maybe Heero would find some loophole in his own reasoning himself wouldn't have bothered with.

He sure hoped that whatever Heero would do, he'll at least be able to find the professor's whereabouts. Piloting carriers was becoming quite boring.

Surprisingly, he found himself missing the circus and wonder how Catherine and the others were doing, down there, on Earth. At the time he hadn't thought much about it but with distance, from up there, he had to marvel at how readily they accepted him. A man who came from nowhere, with too many secrets. No questions, no reserve.  
They welcomed him, and the weird guys he kept bringing to the circus.

Until his bout of self-destructiveness Catherine blamed on Heero. Not that she was totally wrong about that. She hadn't understood. It wasn't Heero's fault he had misinterpreted the smaller pilot.

They were of similar breed bar one fundamental difference : Heero was riding on emotions, too many of them he barely had a grasp on. He... had lost his a long time ago. And he was now just starting to gain them back. It was jarring at times.

Heero had awakened a growling beast, deep inside his guts, and it felt too much at once.

He was in love, and he had no idea what he was he knew, was how dangerous a feeling it was in war time. He had to distance himself from the source of his distracting feelings.

He had been too willing to follow Heero and support him silently, despite his better judgment. Jealousy was making him too reckless too. He needed time to get his composure back.

And peace to be able to fully give himself to the conflicted pilot.

* * *

_To the guest who asked me what the final pairing would be : that's the whole point of the plot you're asking me. I might only have 10 readers at most I can't spoil the end to everyone. If you really want to knwo before you decide to keep on reading, please give me the occasion to answer privately._

_(Actually, it has already been said, but Duo is a bit dense...)_

_What I can say is : Duo won't get back with Hilde. Hilde won't bang Quatre. Quatre won't get Trowa. Trowa won't fuck Wufei. Wufei won't hit on Relena. Relena won't explore new territories with Sally. Sally won't get distracted by Duo's long hair._

_Ah... and Heero won't make out with the Doll. Obviously._

_Also I'll keep the Duo [now] / Trowa [then] format till the end. No incursion in Heero's screwed up mind. The very last chapter would be presented by Wufei._


	13. Chapter 13

**Duo Maxwell Ac204 March**

* * *

Duo swore softly as, for the fourth time in one day, he couldn't find what he was searching for at the usual place.

_ Heero?

_ Mmm?

Duo looked behind him to glare mildly at his friend, currently looking up the Doll's wrecked arm and munching on a sweet-cake.

_ Do you mind not putting my kitchen upside down as soon as you get here?

Heero blinked at him innocently before slowly taking his munchy from his mouth.

_ It's more practical that way." He pointed as if it was usual to reorganize your host's kitchen first thing.

_ Heero, you don't do that...

_ Why?

_ Because it's my kitchen." Duo whined. And no he was not ashamed to say it. He was whining by now.

_ Is it less practical?" Heero inquired before going back to munching on the pastries, or whatever it was called.

Duo sighed, loudly. No, Heero was right: putting the coffee pot, mugs and coffee ground in the same cupboard was practical. But to mix food and dishes wasn't intuitive.

He should know by now that the Heero was a logical being with little regard to little things as "how stuff is supposed to be". He had forgotten how it tended to translate in a day to day life.

It was so ... Heero-like, Duo couldn't help the endeared smile that spread on his lips. Smile that didn't falter even after his guest gave him a pointed look : see, you don't deny I'm right.

_ Do you plan on going to work today?" Heero casually asked as they were finishing their breakfast.

_ I'm supposed to...

Now that he had some company, he wasn't too much in a hurry to go there. He'd rather enjoy some more of Heero Yui. And, for once, he wasn't behind schedule on any project.

_ When do you usually go?

_ Shop hours, Tuesday to Saturday, 9h30 to 18h. Sometimes I stay at the work shop when I'm behind on the building part after closing. When I have design to do, I'd rather do it here." He flipped a hand to the drawing table still under the living front window. And looked at the hour : 10 o'clock. "There is a sign, my neighbor picks up the slack when I'm not open as scheduled.

Heero nodded, shoed Duo to the bathroom (again) and set to wash the dishes.

_ Get ready, I'm going with you.

Duo went back a little, surprised.

_ Why?

_ She needs repairs." He was pointing at the quiet Doll still sitting on the counter.

Fair point.

It was a bit of a sigh, watching Heero, effortlessly carrying a Doll two third his size and softly babbling to it in his weird language completely oblivious of his environment. And the Doll occasionally nodding to him or shaking its head, listening intensely at everything he said.

_ Don't worry Kimi. We'll fix you up good. Duo's the maker, he knows what he is doing. And I'll stay right here and make sure it's going well.

Duo wanted to sight at Heero's antics and apologize to the other bus users for his weirdness. Looking around he realized the few people who did pay attention to his companion had at worst a compassionate look, added to a "he's cute" kind of smile.

Of course, unlike Duo, they all must think Heero was just a kid.

And Duo kind of got why Heero not aging might frustrate Trowa so much. Dating must have been more and more awkward as their perceived age gap grew wider. He mused about whether it ever lead to someone, or a police officer, calling Trowa on child abuse.

That would be one hell of a reason to resent J, or Heero's agreement to whatever had been done to him.

pickaboo

Upon arriving to the workshop, Duo gave the keys to his friend to let himself in while he would make a detour to the next shop to check on his messages and say 'Hi' to Jeff.

The ruckus soon coming from his place could be heard from the other side of the road.

_ What the Hell... Bye Jeff.

He hadn't even finished his sentence that his braid was already disappearing through the front door.

_ Heero, what hap...

What.

The.

Hell...

There was Heero, wrestling or the floor with a one armed Doll very intent on getting out, talking to it so fast Duo had no idea what he was saying. Just that for once it was in regular Common.

_ He's the Maker not a reaper. I told you we are here to repair your arm. Please calm down.

For a reason, it made the Doll stop struggling to hit Heero in the chest, hard.

_ Oye ! Mind your punches !" Duo growled while threateningly march toward the little thing.

_ Duo, stay away." It was a long time since he last got to hear that particular sharp, commanding tone. And he hadn't missed it one second; then he went back to the Doll with much more softness. "What are you disagreeing about?

Not daring to intervene again, Duo slided to the side. What the hell Heero had done to that Doll? The little thing was now slashing with one and a half arm in a disturbingly familiar motion. Heero sighed.

_ They shouldn't have taught you that so soon. Yes, it happened, it was a long time ago. Troubled times. We changed. Kimi, Duo made you, and he took you back to his home when your family no longer wanted you. We are your family now. No one's going to hurt you.

By that point, Duo was left speechless. Heero had always be quite the weirdo (to put it bluntly, in a funny way most of the time) but that was going a bit far.

Who 'taught' that Doll about their past? Freaking Why? And the fuck how the thing 'learnt' to freak-out?

Or to pat Heero all over in a 'are you hurt?' way, like it was trying to apologize.

_ It's ok, I can't get hurt that easily. But you do need to be more careful.

_ Heero." He started softly from his side of the shop. "I'll let you handle that... clusterfuck and go work, in the back room. But once you're done, you fucking better explain. Everything.

After he closed the door between the two rooms, Duo a moment to pride himself for keeping his calm the whole speech.

Bah... trust Heero to make a mess of his life mere hours after he came back. At least, his days wouldn't be boring anymore. For now, he had work to do.

pickaboo

It was already almost 13h when Duo shut his soldering iron off and stretched his stiffed shoulders, proud he managed to finish his next project both legs. He sneaked a peek toward the door to the front shop. It had been quiet for a while now.

His grumbling stomach quickly took care of his reluctance to face whatever mess they must have made of his shop. He had to eat. The big question being : chinese, tacos or pizza?

He tidied up his workbench quickly and dared open the door. No wrestling, no random flying objects, he should be safe enough to get out.

_ Seriously?

He could have imagined a lot of things, from Heero being forced to remove the Doll's battery to work on its arm, to tying it up for the same reason, but not that. Not having both sitting on the floor, a board drawn on the tiles between them and alternately placing copper and iron bolts on the crosses while Heero would softly tell Fary tale-like stories.

Heero shook his head to brush his bangs out of his face to look up at Duo, a warm, welcoming smile on his lips.

_ Hi. I've ordered a few cold dishes from one of your leaflets. I didn't know when you use to have lunch and it was getting late. It should be delivered soon enough.

_ Thank-you." Duo answered, flashing a huge smile, and plopped down besides Heero. It felt comforting, how Heero hadn't changed : still as prone to get your life upside down, still as oddly caring, in his own way.

Since they had their back to the bottom of the counter, Duo slouched a bit against it so he could put his head of his friend's shoulder and look at the game they were playing. Heero has resumed his story about a witch with a crooked nose, a little girl working in a bath-house and a unfriendly, awkward young boy.

Weird stuff...

_ What you're playing at?

_ Go.

_ Never heard of, that's kind of Chess?

He could feel the brush of Heero's hair as he shook his head. God, he had missed that guy.

_ You can capture your opponent's stones, but it's not the point of Go. It's to place your stones to create the largest territories.

_ Looks boring." Duo couldn't help muttering.

_ That's because we are not really playing, I'm teaching her the basic moves. A real Go board is four times wider.

_ Sounds better, 9x9 doesn't seem to let too many options.

Duo let Heero set-up another exercise, he called it 'tsumego', for the Doll.

_ How did her arm get like that?

_ I'm not sure. A grand-ma ordered a Doll to play board game for her grand-son because he had a hard time making friends, moving around a lot or else. They got angry because I made it too smart, guess I should have introduced a random 'bad moves' somewhere. And those dumbass, instead of contacting me to rectify the programming or something, they did... that.

Whatever 'that' truly was.

That was when the doorbell chimed their lunch delivery.

_ Let's dig! Then you'll tell me what you did to my Doll.

_ Not much. I'm not the one who taught her to be wary of human's versatility.

The salads were not Duo's usual choice but quite good.

_ How much then?" He munched around a morsel of chicken wrapped in lettuce.

_ Changed her coding language, helped her organize her memories so it wouldn't take too much data.

Duo's fork stopped midway to point skeptically at the red haired Doll.

_ And you did all that." a circle with the fork. "In one night?

_ I'm fast, but not that fast. I enlisted Lily's and a couple others help.

_ Other... what, exactly?" Duo was pretty sure he knew already, but fuck... what had his wizard done this past seven years?

_ A.I.

Well... this settled that...

_ And ... do I want to know how many of those?

Heero raised an eyebrow in what seemed to have become one of his new trademark gesture and smirked. He set-up yet another 'tsumego' for the Doll to puzzle on before answering.

_ I can't tell.

_ Can't tell, whether I want to know, or how many you made?

_ Can't tell." Heero answered again with a final tone before stuffing his mouth with a chicken wrap.

_ Tsk... I was so happy you're back, how did I forgot how infuriating you can be." Duo muttered dejectedly.

_ Is that... a bad thing?

Duo took a few seconds to consider the question. From Heero's still downcast eyes, he was meaning that question.

_ Heero wa good, the caring, the annoying, and the sometimes infuriating. So far, I've never seen you be either of the latter on purpose. It's not a bad thing, if you have a good reason to not answer me.

Duo took it back, Heero had changed. The boy he had known before couldn't have smiled the way he did now.

_ You've always been the most sensible of us all. Thank you.

After they finished eating, Duo was finally able to work on the Doll's broken arm and send both his visitors home so he could do some actual work.

Let's say, it hadn't been his most productive day ever. To salvage his honor.

But, man, what an heart-warming sigh. Being welcomed by softly glowing windows and a whiff of cooking food.

_ I'm home!" He announced playfully, not really expecting an answer other than a chuckle for his antics.

_ Okaery nasai." Heero welcomed him as the Doll came straight running in his legs to hug. Apparently, giving it complete mobility back had earned it's 'trust'. Like a pup. Not that he would dare say that aloud where Heero could hear.

Once Duo had managed to disentangle from the, now short haired, Doll (there hadn't been much left to salvage there), he found Heero standing right in front of him, apparently waiting for something.

_ Wanna hug too?" He half joke, pretty sure he would be snorted at but not minding either outcome. Since the small brunet didn't back out, he went on and gave his friend a bear hug.

Heero smelled of lemongrass.

Duo was happy.

* * *

**Trowa Barton Ac195**

* * *

The moon.

Such a huge supply of gundamium was quite a tell. OZ was getting pretty confident, not even trying to hide it.

It was bothersome. To think Lady Une's threat would be enough to stop them altogether, OZ and that Treize were largely underestimating them. They weren't just mindless pilots!

Then a cold shiver went down his spine. If he had been able to find that intel this easily, no doubt Heero would too. And he could easily picture how that would go down.

Meaning he'll need to get in the place before his lover, and make sure he wouldn't get himself killed.

Being in love with a reckless man was such a bother. He almost could sympathize with Middy there.

pickaboo

Once again, he was really grateful for his lack of expression. Not that he didn't expect to meet Heero on the moon. Still... there was recklessness and there was Heero Yui. He should have a new level with his own name. At least, he did manage to get there before his lover.

It was a bit of a stand off, though. Them facing each other, him in a OZ suit, Heero in his green tank top, guns drawn. Until Heero relented and followed his lead on.  
He was both a bit appalled and awed that Heero trusted him so much he barely considered he might have had a change of heart and turned coat.

pickaboo

He turned again under the thin cover of his bunk. Being so near his lover, and not being able to get any close to him was unsightly nerve wracking. During the last few days, he hadn't dare wander around Heero's cell like he was already used to with the Professors'.

The Professors, he might be able to explain away, with the upcoming trials of the Aquarius and the ViaLactea. He _could_ be interested with the engineering behind his future MS, the improvements that could still be made.

As he was aiming to get Heero to pilot the second Suit, he couldn't afford to risk being seen having a personal interest with the guy. His body disagreed, loudly. The beast was famished.

* * *

_I know it's officially the 'Vayate', sometimes the 'Valiante' but it's supposed to be a Constellation, as in the Zodiac Organization. And the closest sounding, is our very milkyway._

_MiniFrench : J'aime votre façon de penser._

_Wraith : thank you for the encouragement. I'm not the kind to ask for reviews left and right, but zero feedback at all is quite discouraging._


	14. Chapter 14

**Duo Maxwell - AC204 April  
**

* * *

It was eerily easy to settle in a comfortable routine with Heero.

Be woken up by the scent of freshly brewed coffee, eating breakfast in Heero's company, going to work. Sometimes, for lunch, Heero, and the Doll would come by Duo's workshop with a cold meal, chat a bit and go on with their wandering. Duo would go back to work until diner time. Homemade diner waiting for him.

It was like having a doting house wife home, doubled with an amazing cook. That this was Heero of all people made it just both hilarious and cute.

It was a pressing urge that pushed Duo to get up in the middle of the night. Heero and him had a few cups of tea while watching an old movie. So... pressing urge.

It was only on his way back to his room, after relief, Duo noticed the light in the living room. Strangely, it wasn't accompanied by the soft chatter he had gotten used to hear when Heero was left with the Doll he had finally dubbed Trio. Seriously...

Heero was huddled on the sofa, a sketching pad propped on his raised knees and a stack of loose leaves already scattered around. Heero was drawing. And Duo wasn't sure if he should come over. Would he be welcomed?

Duo almost went back into his room to give Heero privacy when his gaze met striking blue eyes, followed by a wary smile. This settled that. Duo went over and huddled on the other side of the sofa.

_ Inspired?" He asked softly, pretty sure it was not the case.

_ Nightmare.

Yeah... definitely not the case. Duo let time pass, he wasn't being rejected, in Heero's language, it was the same as being welcomed. Was it?

_ The Doll?

_ Sleeping.

_ It's a machine 'ro, it doesn't sleep.

_ Filing and compiling her memories of the day if you're being picky.

Duo smiled, Heero calling someone picky...

The silence wasn't uncomfortable so Duo let it spread over them and, slowly enough Heero could stop him if he wanted, started to collect the scattered drawings. He had mostly expected some war scene, the stuff of nightmares they all had plenty of to remember.

It was mostly bucolic scenes. Soft, everyday play : an ageless Quatre playing with a dog, WuFei nose-deep in a book, Duo half buried under a truck's hood, Relena riding a blur that was probably supposed to be a horse. Only the saddle was neatly drawn.

Duo was a bit ashamed, he had almost forgotten. Or more like, he hadn't thought about it since Christmas. Heero had been the artist of the painting now taking up a wall at Relena's mansion.

_ So...during seven years you developed AI's, became a painter and a cook. You've been quite busy.

The scratching of pencil on paper stopped.

_ I had to find out what I wanted to do with myself afterwards. So I tried different things. I'm not good with words. Painting feels better.

Then after a thoughtful pause : "I was awful at that too the first few times I tried. Until I found out what I needed to say.

It honestly perplexed Duo. The last part. He wasn't much of an erudite, nor an artist. Maybe he would get it if he saw more of Heero's paintings?

Over the backrest of the sofa, he caught a glimpse of metal. Well... Quatre decided to rebuilt the colonies, WuFei entered the Preventers, Trowa was spreading some magic over the world, he was making Doll. They all found a way to cope and go on; make something worthwhile with their lives. Heero was spreading paint on canvas.

If that was how he could find peace.

Duo stopped flipping halfway through the night's drawings and stretched. The fridge cold hair was unpleasant on his feet. He took the juice bottle and a glass.

_ Wanna drink something?

_ Thyme and mint tea. Thank you.

Duo had no idea they even had that kind of stuff. Better start with putting the kettle on. Following Heero's kitchen reasoning, the tea shouldn't be far from the mugs. Yup! Gotcha.

Waiting for the water to boil, Duo leaned against the counter, his drink in hand. Had Heero always looked so small? He had always been small, but with such a air of authority he seemed larger than his height.

He shook his head. Being woken up in the middle of the night was doing much good for his brain; and the water was ready.

After settling back into the couch, he took another handful of sheets.

Oh my... He knew Heero had been Trowa's lover for years. But honestly, he still had a hard time picturing the guy on the other side of the sofa as anything else than a prude virgin.

Clearly, he wasn't, because those drawings of Trowa were anything but.

_ Turning to porn?" Duo teased despite his own slight blush.

_ That's where he's the most beautiful. And the only place I've ever seen him completely open and honest.

Duo nodded silently, not sure what to make of that.

_ You should go to bed Duo, it won't do you good to doze on one of your machine.

Duo knew a dismissal when he heard one. He finished his lukewarm drink and went to put the empty glass in the dishwasher.

_ Try to sleep too 'Ro.

_ I will. Thank you for the company.

Duo smiled. It seemed he had done a good deed tonight.

pickaboo

The next day, Duo got a call from Trowa, Chloe and his favorite monkey Flunky.

They were crossing a plain full of ocres going on and on toward unlimited horizons. It was beautiful.

_ So, how is it going with Heero?" Trowa finally asked after an half hour of mindless and joyful chatter.

_ Surprisingly smoothly. He... hasn't changed much." Then Duo frowned, because it wasn't true. "No. He has changed, he seems to be much better than he was.

Not that he could have gotten any _worse_.

_ But... you get me? Heero's still Heero. Bossy and awkward as Hell in his best days.

Trowa laughed happily and agreed to that.

_ Please take care of him. He's still more fragile than he likes to let on.

Duo felt his heart squeeze a bit at the, a little too obvious, concern Trowa was expressing for his ex. Then shook it, he had no right to be jealous. He and Trowa were only a thing since Christmas. Not nine years.

_ Actually, he's the one mostly doing the taking care of. I think I've never been so much pampered in my life. But, yes, I'll do what I can.

_ Pampered?

_ Yeah, you know, homemade delicious meals, dropping by at lunches, hot bath waiting in the evening... One day I came back from work and found Heero half buried under my bathtub, he was installing a heater.

It had been quite funny actually, being welcomed by Heero's scrawny ass as he was swearing like a dock worker because the stubborn wrench wouldn't stop slipping off the bolt.

Trowa's frowning had him halt in his reminiscing. Crap, he wished Trowa wasn't getting the wrong signals and get jealous of Heero spending time with him?

_ Something the matter sweetheart?

Did Heero not do that kind of stuff with Trowa?

_ I... guess I never really appreciated all the things he does as much as I should have. Since he would do it whether I'm there or not.

_ He has always been a bit awkward about it, but the Heero I've known liked to take care of the people important to him.

Like the day Heero had come to bail him instead of killing him like he should have. Dragged him to a hospital to punch him in the guts to force him to stay put instead of following him to the moon.

Duo should have listened and never set a foot there.

pickaboo

Since it was Saturday, Duo hadn't gone to the workshop and stayed home to prepare his orders for material.

Heero has been gone when woke up, breakfast ready on the counter. Duo shook his head: really, he was spoiled. As there were two sets of dishes waiting, he decided that the least he could do was to wait for his friends return before eating.

Or maybe just a toast...

And a cup of coffee.

_ Hell... that brings memories!" Duo couldn't help whistle as the door let a sweaty dark head in.

Apparently, Heero had gone jogging, green tank-top and a pair of spandex. Only the shoes didn't look like they traveled through time.

Heero frowned at the comment and looked down at him.

_ Those aren't the same. It's a lighter green.

_ Close enough." Duo countered before getting up to make another pot of coffee. "Go get showered, I'm starving.

_ You didn't need to wait for me.

Heero was already out of his room with a clean set of clothes.

_ Of course I did, you nitwit. You cooked for us both, I wasn't going to eat all on my own. I'm not a rat.

Duo couldn't puzzle out the frown that appeared on Heero's face. Really, it was common sense.

_ It's already late..." He trailed then shook himself. "I'll take a quick shower.

Oh... This was that. Duo grinned and grabbed his friend just before he entered the bathroom; ruffling his hair.

_ I didn't let myself starve waiting for you. I got toasts. And already emptied the coffee pot. Guess, I'll make some more.

It felt nice to have Heero lean on him, it brought back memories. Still, after a long run, Heero stinked a bear. So Duo pushed him into the bathroom and went busing his hands with coffee, then straightening up the mess he had made on his work table while waiting.

He tsked, even on his day off, he was still working on some design or searching for parts. What had he been doing on his week-ends with Hilde already? Barely a few months since they broke-up from a eight year old cohabitation and it already took him a few seconds searching his memories to remember.

They mostly lazed around till noon, having sex, did the housework they had no time or courage to do during the week. Groceries, more sex. Sometimes they went for a stroll someplace or else. Sometimes they had friends over. Duo's old pals, Hilde's work buddies.

After he started to live alone, week-ends or work days didn't matter as much, he would take a break from work when Trowa was available and that was it.

He rubbed his chin in annoyance, he had really to get a hang on himself. And shave. God, when had he last shaved?

Good thing he had light and sparse hair. A couple more weeks and Heero would have found a hobo living in a real dump.

_ I don't think staring at the coffeemaker will make it fly to the table.

Duo started, he hadn't heard Heero coming back and settle at the counter, the Doll flipping through a book besides him. Fairy tales.

_ Where did you hide all morning?

_ I think she's still a bit afraid of you.

Duo wanted to argue about an IA ability to feel emotions. Except that somehow, he had seen the Doll completely freak-out in his shop. Sometimes, he wondered if he should be amazed or freaked out himself about Heero's doing.

_ What's your plans for the day? There's not much sightseeing to do but,wanna go somewhere?

_ Groceries?

Duo couldn't help but laugh at the offer. It was so domestic, and so not Heero. Well... cooking wasn't exactly something he would have associated with the brunet either.

_ Ok, groceries. Anything else you fancy?

Heero shrugged, he didn't know that colony well, so he didn't know where they could go, did they have a Cinema?

_ Of course we do! Even if most movies are a bit outdated." He added sheepish about his bout of outrage, just as he saw the shark's smile Heero was sporting. "You. Are a rascal.

So groceries it would be.

pickaboo

_ How come, you've only been there for two weeks and you're already on first name basis with the clerk, I didn't even _know _there was a Primeur there.

_ Habits versus curiosity." Heero answered simply. "I've been wandering.

_ For barely a fortnight, while taking care of the house, running, cooking, and fiddling with my Doll. Do you ever sleep?

_ Yes, at night. And running is a good way to wander around.

Duo decided to drop the subject. That was Heero for you. Take it or leave it. Duo'd rather take. He wasn't man to have so much he would gladly leave anything behind.

_ What did he call you anyway?

_ Torii. Toya Torii is my artist name. I'd rather use it when I don't want too much attention.

_ Right, Heero Yui was quite conspicuous ten years ago, it's even worse nowadays. Is that why you kept using my name during the war?

Duo bit his tongue, war tended to be a touchy subject for everyone of them, and Heero had been crushed in so many ways during that time. Surprisingly, Heero didn't seem to mind the blunder. He did look much more as ease than before, maybe he truly was.

_ That... and..." His eyes trailed as much as his voice, he shrugged with his bags of groceries in his arms. "Just in case.

So Heero had deliberately left a trail for him to find? Duo didn't know what to do with that.

Then, Duo's thoughts about war flew away at the sigh of the vegetables Heero was holding.

_ What the fuck is that?" They were deep green and enormous, like his calf size. Heero looked at him like Duo was a bit dimwitted.

_ Zucchinis." Well of course !

_ Did they grow them on a nuclear plant? They're ginormous.

This time the look was almost pitying.

_ They are exactly how they should be. How would you want them?

_ This size for starters." Duo made a gap about a hand and half between his fingers.

_ Amateur.

Duo couldn't have really heard what he did, had he? A suppressed giggle from the other side of the vegetables stand answered for him. Heero had been teasing him over vegetable sizes.

_ Those," he pointed the green monstrosities on display. "are mature zucchinis. Since most people doesn't seem to like their vegetables full of seeds, the ones you see in most supermarkets are baby zucchinis.

The giggles became a guwarf, coming from a teenage girl waiting by a basket half full of groceries.

_ Baby zucchinis...

_ Yes, with translucent white soft seeds, premature.

Maybe he should start to worry about the teen's health; she was going to suffocate trying to muffle her laughter at that rate. He hated he started this whole conversation. He hated the question he was going to ask.

_ Does it change the taste?" The girl's mom was there now and frowning in dismay at her misbehaving child. Heero, imperturbable, went on.

_ People think zucchinis get more bitter as they mature. They just don't know how to prepare them. Duo something the matter?" He finally inquired, his alternatively landing on the scolding-mom laughting-daugther duo, and Duo.

_ Don't mind it. Chose one of those... and let's go.

It was only when Heero winked at the girl as they were passing that Duo realized with amazement his friend had definitely not been unaware of the inuendos lacing his speech.

_Do you have long hair?_

Maybe Trowa was right when saying Duo was a bit dense, because it only occurred to him now, that the painter he had a chit-chat over Relena's sofa was Heero, and that little ass-hole couldn't have not known who he was talking to.

Shit.

Why was Heero there exactly?

Not to mess up his starting relationship with Trowa, would he? He meant... Heero had known at Christmas, about Trowa and Duo. Trowa knew about Heero being there and hadn't minded. They were both OK with the actual situation.

Were they?

* * *

**Trowa Barton - AC195**

Finally.

Molded in a space-suit, sheltered by the thin shell of the Aquarius, finally, he was piloting a Gundam again. Not his heavy-arm. Still.

And Heero was with him. Alone under the sky. If one was willing to discount the base station listening to their every breath and monitoring their slightest move. He was pretty sure Heero had understood his reasons for harboring OZ uniform, still, he had to ask. To be certain he hadn't lost his lover's trust. Heero's veiled answer to his hidden question had been a huge relief.

That boy was such a show-off...

But, damn, he wouldn't have him any other way. Especially now that Heero seemed to have decided to work with him and not just besides. He fancied the idea that their intense mating might have helped the actual ViaLactea's pilot to learn how to take someone else's movements into account.

Then he had to bring that blonde ponce back to the moon.

He didn't like that Zech Merquise, at all. His motives and loyalties were way to obscure for his peace of mind. That, and the blonde's influence on Heero. At this point he was almost wondering : who did not have a lead or another on his partner.

Then, all thoughts about possible rivals flew by the air vent, when Heero possessively pushed him into an unused corridor to snog the living breath out of him and latch out on his private parts with an enthusiasm that turned into feigned disgust as their guards came back.

_ Seems he _really_ wants to be allowed out again." He drawled with a leer that disgusted himself. The two others guards nodded and let out a couple catcall before turning back and waiting just besides the corner for the 'treat' to be done.

It was a bit uneasy, knowing they had an audience, until Heero did that thing with his tongue and moaned around him. The audience was forgotten.  
Man he had missed him.

And not just the sex.

* * *

MiniFrench : nope, no HeeroxDoll. Not in there, sorry. Great week-end to you.


	15. Chapter 15

**Duo Maxwell - AC204 April**

* * *

In the end, the afternoon wasn't spent walking around. As they finished lunch, Duo got a call from Joaquim who got hands on an interesting cargo, if Duo was interested in having premium access? It was an offer Duo couldn't pass. Premium material at family price, it was too good to miss.

So they went to Jo's scrapyard fishing for pieces Duo could bring to Erika for smelting and casting into the Doll's main frame or for him to cut out. At first he had been a bit cautious about bringing Trio to the junkyard, what if it freaked out again? It went surprisingly smoothly, the waist size Doll following him like a duckling and even accepting to help hold on some parts.

Heero scavenged a few items for himself too. Duo had no idea what for. Maybe he wasn't just painting but also doing some weird-ass sculptures?

Now they were back home, Trio was sorting through the items Heero had collected and said brunet was (again) in the kitchen, slicing, dicing, chopping, the stuff they had bought in the morning. Apart from a few exception, Heero didn't seem to content with pre-made food.

Duo was watching, feet swinging from the stool. Heero never verbally banned him from the kitchen side of the counter but the way he took over the place made it difficult to enter the territory. Especially given their respective skills in cooking.

_ Heero" Out of boredom, Duo stretched the name as much as it humanly could be stretched. "Give me something to do.

_ Na. T's ok. I manage.

Duo huffed and banged his head.

_ I mean it 'ro. Give me something to do. It's boring to just watch, and I'm not going to improve that way.

Heero halted halfway into his stirring some tomato sauce, doused the fire and turned to watch him. Duo fought not to squirm. And felt like he had won something when his ex-pilot turned housewife friend pushed the chopping board toward him alongside with a bunch of large, white-ish mushroom. He peeled and sliced one for example and let Duo deal with the others.

_ Keep the six biggest whole, just peeled.

_ What will you do with those?

_ _You_, will make farcis.

After the mushrooms, went the garlic, basil and onion. Duo fried the finely minced onion, made a sautée with the garlic, basil and minced mushrooms to stuff the ones left on the side. Decorated with onions, the farcis went to the oven, freshly discharged from a gratin with potatoes and eggplants.

The afternoon was well spent in cooking. It was surprisingly easy, once you remember that if the thermostat has 9 intensity settings, it's for a reason. Heero had been more patient with Duo's obliviousness than expected.

_ First few times I tried to cook, I managed to burn can soup. It was a disaster, the saucepan was beyond salvation. Besides, Oyaji got me used to high standard hotels, so unless I wanted to hire a cook, I had to get into it quick.

Duo laughed at the self derision.

_ Oyaji?

_ The man who raised me before I met J. He was a retired hitman but still had a mission to finish. We had the same objective, so we went together.

Duo was curious as Hell, it was the first time ever he heard about Heero's pre-pilot time, or pre-J time. But he wasn't sure he should ask for more. Then he shrugged, with Trowa, he wouldn't have dared. It was Heero. If he didn't like the question, he would either tell Duo off or simply ignore it.

_ What objective?

_ Dekim Barton.

Ouch, that one made the warm and cheerfulness of an afternoon spent cooking together drop below zero. Heero bend under the sink and fished out a bottle of wine Duo was pretty certain he had never seen before.

_ Where does that come from?" From all the edible imports, wine was by far the most expensive.

_ I got a supplier." Heero brushed while getting the cork-screw from a drawer and two glasses. Duo silently let him generously pour the red liquid, apparently, he had stumbled on a heavy subject. And quite surprisingly, Heero seemed in the mood to keep talking.

He took the offered glass and sloshed gently the wine over the sides of the glass (he had seen specialists do that in a documentary once) before sniffing. Even his Boeotian tastes knew it wasn't some cheap stuff.

Heero shrugged again, he knew a guy...

_ So Dekim Barton." Duo trailed, not sure how to phrase it. "Is he why you didn't leave just after the end of the war? You were still after him.

Heero finished clearing up the last dished before taking his own glass and settle on the couch. Same couch Duo had cam-sex countless time with Trowa, and real sex a few times too, his unhelpful brain oddly supplied.

Duo followed.

_ Dekim Barton is the man who ordered my mother's murder.

Duo gluped half his pricey wine. Heero bend forward for a refill. He looked less... distraught than Duo would have expected from such a heavy subject.

_ Why? Who was she?" Duo asked when he felt like his guts were back where they belonged.

_ No one, just some Japanese woman from a middle class family. But she was intimate friend with a man Dekim Barton was looking for. A man who did much damage to the Colonies before disappearing.

_ He went into hiding." Duo summarized. "And Dekim Barton did not forgive.

Heero nodded, they didn't need to say more about how the man retaliated. It was all in the title.

_ Then, what happened? to make your mother's friend hang the riffle.

Duo should have been more cautious. Not take a sip just after he prompted Heero for more information. And definitely not miss the sly smirk he half hid behind his own glass.

His already stained sofa was definitely going to hate him. Lucky it was a dark color.

"He was ordered to kill Heero Yui."

Duo had a coughing fit and his nose burned. Fucking shit!

_ You. Have been raised by Odin Freakin Lowe?!

Did Trowa knew? Had J known when he chose Heero's code name?

Because, it was obvious 'Oyaji', the hitman who was after Barton was Heero's mom's friend.

_ He arrived a few days after Barton's goons. When I told him I wanted to kill the guy who had my mother murdered, we made a bargain, he would take me with him and teach me how to get revenge. I would help him with his job in the mean time.

_ A man would be less conspicuous if traveling with his child." Duo agreed. Still.. "How old were you?

_ Four. I barely remember anything from... before.

It was the first time Heero showed pain about the whole story.

_ And I though I had a shitty start..." Duo breathed softly.

_ You, me, Trowa, we all had it rough. There is no point comparing.

_ That's not what I meant.

_ I know." Heero answered as softly.

It was only after desert, while they were storing away the freshly washed dishes, Duo voiced the though that had been nagging at him.

_ When you said your mom was 'intimate friend' with Odin Lowe, how... _intimate _exactly?

And if that wasn't an awkward question to ask.

_ Yes Duo, he is.

Odin Lowe, assassin of one Space Leader Heero Yui, and father of one Gundam Pilot Heero Yui. Talk about destiny.

_ Is? I thought he was dead?

_ Dekim Barton thought so. I didn't the point in proving him wrong. After our disastrous confrontation with him when I was eight, I hid him in a small clinic on one of the island of the sea of Seto. He has a wife and two daughters now.

_ And how long have you known, that this 'Oyaji' was really your father?

_ When I went back to tell him our mission was finally complete.

So Heero had two younger sisters. Trowa a niece, adopted or not didn't matter. Duo wasn't sure what it was making him feel. Not really comfortable.

_ And you... met them? His new family?

_Your family._

_ Twice a year, usually for the New Year and their birthdays, they are three years apart but were born two following days. Two chatter box, always smiling. They remind me of you.

The warmth in those blue eyes eased a bit the uncomfortable thing that had settled in Duo's stomach.

pickaboo

_ He let you what?

Much later at night, like, really, early morning (very early for Duo), Trowa had called. His face still full of make up, he must have just finished the late evening representation, and was removing it all while Duo was blabbing about his last few days.

Duo was pretty sure Trowa was only half listening, letting Duo's voice lull him to half-sleep. He did pick-up the last bit, with a grain of astonishment.

_ How did you do that?

_ I... asked?" Duo answered hesitantly. What was the problem there?

Trowa flopped into his chair in front of his laptop, clearly put out. Duo fancied, in the trailer's dim light, that Trowa was almost pouting.

_ Do you have any idea how many times _I _asked him? 'No need, I'm ok'. Always the same answer.

Yup, pouting. It was childish, and it was cute as hell on a tall man like Trowa.

_ Mmm... Maybe we didn't ask the same thing?" Duo mused, remembering Heero's initial response. "I asked him to _teach_ me.

Trowa's head bonked softly on the false wood desk.

_ Why did it never occur to me?...

He was pretty much whining in a 'fuck my life' kind of way. Duo refrained to answer that maybe it was because he has never seen Heero in a schooling environment. Only whenever a fellow student was asking him to explain some fine point of their lesson, did he respond with something else than glares, grunts or death-threats (the later being mostly reserved for a certain blonde girl).

Not wanting to add salt on a wound, Duo simply commiserated with his lover and promised to pass over whatever he managed to learn.

He skipped the evening, Trowa probably knew Heero's story too but he didn't feel like talking about it without the first concerned there. So he goaded the handsome and mostly undressed man on the cam for some sexy time.

Trowa was always happy to comply.

...

_ I was so sure there was something between you and Quatre, back then. I think we all were. I was really floored when you said it was Heero you've been with.

Duo was spent, delightfully so, despite the lack of his lover's physical presence. He was merely chatting whatever came to mind to keep him a bit longer. Just a bit... feel like he was here. He didn't really expect a proper answer. Not that kind of answer...

_ When I met Quatre, I found someone I thought I didn't mind dying to protect. When I got to know Heero... I knew the worst thing I could do to him was die on him. Die for him. I had to want to live for him. It was quite a foreign thought at the time.

"He was the first to give me a name just for me. Trowa Barton I stole. Before that, I was... no one.

And Duo understood. How deep those two love was coming from, how precious they were to each other. How much it must have _hurt _to realize they didn't know how to live with each other when they were actually living _for _each other; it was too wast to fully grasp, but he understood.

There would never be something more precious for them.

Duo could only wish he would be enough to help close the wounds and hurt a bit less.

_ I failed at that..." Trowa's voice came through again, so soft a whisper Duo wondered if it was meant to be heard. "I died on him, right under his eyes. I imagine that's why I didn't think of disputing Heero to you when...

Duo hummed, he got that : the PeaceMillion. When Trowa thought Duo and Heero were a thing. Maybe they could have, if he hadn't been such a damn coward and took what was offered.

_ You seemed... more reliable, when it comes to stay alive. You're not one to sacrifice your queen to get an advantage.

_ I did try to self-detonate. When they caught me first. The damn thing was broken. When Heero came, I was ready." No that wasn't true. "I was waiting for him to finish it, since I wasn't able to do it myself.

_ He did not come to kill you." Commented Trowa evenly. Duo huffed.

_ That's what he has been telling himself, that he went to end me. But we both know he couldn't have pressed the trigger, no more than he could kill Relena, despite the numerous times he threatened her to.

_ You didn't know that then." Duo wasn't sure if Trowa meant to let the slightly disapproving tone through or not.

_ I _learnt _that then." He retorted, sadly. Now, he wondered how Heero must have felt, to have a fellow pilot ask him to end their life. Knowing about the 'little girl tragedy', adding the 'Noventa mishap', definitely not good.

_ What he saw as duty and his own emotions have always been clashing horribly.

Duo had not option than to agree with that and wonder, how about Trowa?

_ I did not have emotions before meeting him.

_ I'm glad you did, meet him." And he meant it with all his heart. They shared, soft, tired smiles and tucked in for the night after a few more sweet words "I wish you were here". Well... for what little was left of the night on Duo's side.

pickaboo

It was only a couple day later, after Duo almost dropped a beautiful plate when drying the breakfast's dishes he finally drew enough courage to call Wufei. Thinking back on his last words to the Chinese man, he couldn't imagine way to make this conversation any less than utterly awkward.

Heero was out, probably running, and Trio playing Go against himself.

As he had already done several times since Heero unearthed the china, he dialed the number but never got to press the call button. Once, twice, three times. Connect.

The tone rang four times and Duo was a second away from hanging-up when the call went through. The vid' screen showed nothing much besides moving darkness.

"You'd better be dying." Came as a low growl in a Wufei's voice.

Flushed and his self-consciousness suddenly skyrocketing, Duo hung-up and stared at the communicator.

_ Remind me how he made me believe that could be a good idea?" He idly asked the Doll, not expecting any answer he could understand. A large, unblinking pair of eyes looked up to him and a pair of hands flew in a flourish of movements.

Duo shook sadly his head.

_ You know I can't understand you. I'll have to ask Heero to teach me. And I don't learn as fast as you do.

Trio shrugged in a Very Heero-ish mannerism and stood up to reach Duo. A few seconds later, Wufei's number was ringing again and Trio was shamelessly seated on his lap.

_ You want me to die don'tcha?" He asked the Doll.

_ I want to know why the Hell you are calling me at 03:40 if Yui is not in immediate danger of suffering an horrible death.

Duo gaped unsightly.

_ I didn't realize it was so early. Here is late morning.

_ You still haven't answered.

Duo blushed and dropped his eyes, shame coming back in full.

_ I... never imagined it could have come from you. The china I mean. Until Heero came and told me he got a similar set from you. Thank-you, they are beautiful and I love them.

He only managed to look back up after hearing a flurry of movements from the com and the distinctive 'clic' of a lamp being lit, all at the end of a long, nerve-wracking silence.

Duo only got a glimpse of disheveled black hair, green fabric and walls of a light color before Trio's head overtook his line of sigh, obviously curious about that new figure.

_ Hello there. Might you be Trio?" Wufei gently asked prompting the Doll to look back at Duo with what would probably be a bewildered expression had he facial mobility.

_ Guess Heero must have talked about you around.

The Doll blinked. Wufei ahemed.

_ Actually, _Freya _told me about Heero's new project.

_ Who's Freya?" Duo blurted before he could think. Then he thought about the red-lipped woman at Relena's. Weird name, but...

_ One of Trio's elder.

_ Oh... How many of my Dolls did he mess with?

_ Freya's not a Doll, just another IA." Wufei yawned tiredly. "Not supposed to talk about that... Sleep.

_ Ok, I'll let you go back to sleep. And... thanks again, for the china.

On Duo's lap, Trio started to squirm to get back down and scurried away to whatever he was doing before the call.

_ Hmhmm." He set the com back on the bedside table, giving Duo a glimpse of the room. It did not look like the idea Duo would have of a Chang Wufei interior, too... lush. "Oh... by the way, tell Heero he's out of Chateau Merlot.

_ You're his supplier?

_ Hum... his cave, his money, I just send them up.

_ Abusing Preventers resources? My,... I didn't know Master Chang had that in him.

_ You know squat about me.

_ I agree.

_ And you don't know much about Heero and Trowa either. They suck at living together, but they are insanely good at working together. Be careful Maxwell.

If that wasn't foreboding.

* * *

**Trowa Barton - AC195**

He had not really expected for Wufei to get caught, but that hadn't come as a huge surprise either. The conflicted and lonely pilot was somehow bound to try and chew more than he could swallow without backup.

Still, it was an annoying setback. The plan had been to wait for the new pair of MS to be completed before destroying the base, take the professors and go back to Earth, maybe with the new DeathtScythe if one of the professors were in good shape. Now, they would have to wait for the Shenlong to be repaired too.

That was when the second set back got thrown into the pilots cell: namely Duo Maxwell. Caught for the second time.

Couldn't that little idiot be grateful enough that Heero spared his live to actually be more careful and, ... maybe stay with Quatre or something less stupid than... Getting caught again?

It would only take the cake if Quatre decided a rescue mission was needed and come straight into the lion's den.

He managed to, somehow, connect with Heero and coordinate their actions. Or at least, know him enough to anticipate his foolish recklessness. Apparently, the Gundam pilots as a whole had a long way to go before they ever got a flying chance to bring OZ down.

They couldn't have been more disorganized.

Despite not being prone to swearing, he was sorely tempted to string the Boss' full vocabulary right now.


	16. Chapter 16

**Duo Maxwell AC204 April**

* * *

The only reaction Heero gave when Duo told him about his call with Wufei was : "He knows the number of my bank accounts, he can get the wine he wants himself."

And that would have been it, with Heero's nose buried in papers about Heero knew what. Duo sure didn't, and didn't think he needed to ask. Duo did think he needed to ask a bit more about his arrangements with the Preventer's lieutenant. He had bits and bouts of it, a warning from Wufei he did not know what to think of and that was it. Despite his recent resolution about asking stuff, now seemed the time to put his foot in it. It was Heero after all, the worst that could happen would be for the guy to ignore him.

_ So... how's the deal with Wufei? How come you have his private number on embossed cards?

A page, full of columns and Heero's green scribble, turned.

_ It's my number.

Duo raised both eyebrows. He did think the background didn't fit the austere Chinese man. Not that he would have imagined Heero's interior being so cosy either, satin (or silk?) and heavy curtains, for what little he could see.

_ So... he's... living in your home?" Will he really have to worm information out of Heero one by one? Don't answer, rhetorical question, it was Heero there.

_ It was simpler that way for the moment. The flat needed guarding, Wufei needed a place to be. And he loves my wine.

Well... if Wufei loved Heero's wine... That freaking explained nothing! Still... Heero was answering. Duo served himself some snack from the fridge, Heero made, fresh and healthy. Duo added some mayonnaise.

_ How long ago did you reacquainted with Wufei?

_ Six month after I left, he called me for a freelance job. Tech job for the Preventers. I agreed. The job lasted more than initially intended.

_ And now he's living in you house. You.. had a 'thing' with him too?

That earned him a sharp glare, and no answer. No Pasaran. OK. Heero sighed and stacked up his paperwork.

_ Trowa has always ever been the only one I've been with.

Maybe be Duo would have rather Heero not answer that question. It was making him feel like the thief he no longer was. And he had never stolen someone's lover before.

_ Duo." Duo looked up. "We are fine. Trowa's happy to have you. And I'm happy too.

So Heero still had contacts with Trowa. This time, Duo decided he had asked enough questions for the day.

pickaboo

The next week, Duo got a call. From Quatre. He was coming by for a charity, or else, and, as usual, wanted to invite Duo for dinner.

As far as he knew, Heero hadn't made up with Quatre. Actually, Duo didn't really know what he had against their blonde friend. Not that he was going to ask. He agreed for the dinner and resolved to ask Heero if he wanted to be there when he'll come back from his part-time day job.

Apparently he had found a place at the local middle school. He was supervising the Art club after-class activities for a pregnant teacher who needed to take it easy. In exchange, he was allowed to use one of their atelier for his own work.

When Heero came back, Duo was in his room, on the com with Trowa. Later, after a sound nap, Quatre's dinner had left his mind.

Until he received a phone call as he was having a lunch break with Heero and Trio to remind him to get suited up for dinner.

_ Shit. I forgot to tell you. Quatre had called last week. I wanted to know whether you wanted to come, and... it slipped my mind.

_ Why would you assume I wouldn't want to?" It was a mild question.

_ Quatre told me how you kicked his ass out of your first vernissage. And you still have yet to extend a hand to him.

_ Ah...

_ I also know you two got quite close when protecting Sanc. I know why you ghosted me. But... what did he do to you?

_ I doubt you really know why it was difficult for me to come back to you." Heero answered softly. Duo found it hard to swallow for a few seconds. Back was the feeling he had with Trowa on the balcony, not knowing where to stand.

_ And...Quatre?

_ He's a nice guy, but he's meddlesome, and makes things more difficult more often than not. So far, I couldn't afford more complications in my life.

Sharp and curt. Heero really had a grudge against Quatre, the nicest guy Duo knew. With Trowa. Maybe. Duo had an inkling Trowa was only nice with people he cared about and contented with not being mean toward others.

_ Quatre has never been ill intentioned toward anyone. He couldn't have done it on purpose.

_ That's where he's the most dangerous. He thinks since it's out of the goodness of his heart, he's entitled to meddle and do or say what he thinks is best. He's not omniscient.

_ Like when he built Zero to rescue us?

_ That's one example, not one I've held over him. We knew we had it handled, despite the drawbacks (sharp look and shark smile toward Duo, Trio looked startled by the sudden edge) but it looked pretty screwed from and outside point of view.

_ Trust me, even from the inside it didn't look starlight.

_ I guess I was just disappointed Quatre didn't trust Trowa enough. Unless he didn't even know he was there. One of the thing I do hold against Quatre is that he brought Trowa back into the war.

So Heero did know how to grouse.

_ Wait... what?

_ After his disastrous attempt of a rescue, Quatre was persuaded Trowa was still alive, somewhere. And I wanted to believe him. We stayed stranded, unable to search for him for a while.

Duo nodded, Quatre had told him about the times they had been held by some terran faction, their leader not knowing what to do with two Gundam pilots, before they managed to get to Sanc.

_ When I left Sanc, we kept looking for him, each on our side.

_Erm... Duo's finger went to his cheek in a well ingrained self conscious gesture. "I was the one who found him, since I didn't know how to reach you, I called out for Quatre.

_ Yes.I know that." Heero huffed. "But you barely knew Trowa, Quatre should have know better than drag him back into that mess. He was safe, he was home with people who cared about him. He should have never been forced to come back and have his past haunt him again!

It was a rare sigh to see Heero get angry. It was an uncomfortable sigh.

_ You would rather have him forget you forever.

_ I would have come back to him, after... everything was over. I seduced him once, I could have... given us a second chance.

_ That's not the story I heard.

_ Is that so?" Heero teased with a sly smile.

They finished their meal in thoughtful silence, Trio teaching Duo some of his hand signs.

_ Call Quatre, tell him to cancel whatever fancy restaurant he booked. We'll dine home.

Duo nodded, it was better than nothing.

_ I can't meet him in a public place." Heero un-necessarily added.

_ I get it 'ro.

He got a wan smile and a thanks more heartfell than he deserved. So Duo got up, ruffled Heero's nest hair for good measure and called Quatre.

_ I got to do some groceries, then. Trio, I'll need your help. Duo, please tell Quatre to bring some desert.

With that, Heero let him finish his day load of work. Good thing, Duo won't need to transform in a penguin today. Then it occurred to him that Quatre had never been in his place. In front of, to pick him up, several times. But never in.

Compared to the luxurious places Quatre was used to, his place was pretty much a dump.

Compared to what little he had seen from Heero's apartment, too. Heero didn't seem to mind, Quatre would just have to deal with it for a few hours.

pickaboo

Not wanting to let his (self-invited) long time guest do all the work to welcome his (not invited by him) second guest, Duo decided to close shop a bit early and come home. If he still sucked in a kitchen, even if not as much as he used to, but he could at least clean up a bit.

Heero was tidy but as much a homebody as Duo was. Meaning not much. The tabletop and sink were clean and the floor regularly swept (Heero walked bare food indoor), and that was about all most days.

Some dusting might be in order.

He got home two hours before Quatre was due. Heero was managing about four dishes at the same time in various states of being sliced, chopped, roasted, steamed or whatever. Trio diligently following directions.

_ Tadaima. You're early today" Heero welcomed him and turned right back to his activities.

_ Though I could do some cleaning up while you're monopolizing the kitchen.

Heero halted for a few second as his gaze swept around.

_ Good thinking." He agreed curtly. Duo smiled. He was still marveling at how much better it was to come back to a lived-in home. Then he busied himself with the sweeper and some wipes.

Good thing his place wasn't large, he was finishing straightening his worktable when an alarm biped.

_ Is it time already?

_ You've got half an hour to get dressed." Heero answered. "The bath should be warm. Go first.

Duo gathered his tools for taking away and sauntered playfully to Heero to kiss his cheek, and lick the soft brown sauce he had there.

_ Thanks Birdy.

Then he hurried away before Heero decided to deck him for the teasing.

Exactly half an hour later, Heero emerged from his room suited with a pair of black slacks and a fitting dark blue shirt. Still barefoot Duo noticed amused. The table was already set.

With Wufei's china since it was the only nice set Duo had.

A firm knock on the door later, Duo was met with an armful of blonde delight. Apparently Quatre was very happy to be invited in his humble abode for dinner.

Duo inwardly shook his head, rich people... He loved Quatre, he would never understand the guy. Not that it really mattered.

_ Good to see you too Quatre. Please, I need to breath.

Quatre finally released his friend to give the place a leisure look. Duo congratulated his good thinking about doing some cleaning-up.

_ Heero !" The blond exclaimed happily upon seeing Duo's roommate and advanced to him, arms open in an obvious attempt for a hug. Attempt smoothly derailed as Heero extended his hands to be held instead.

If Quatre's smile faltered at the rebuttal, Duo didn't catch it. They shook hands and exchanged a few polite words. Probably not the heartfell reunion Quatre must have hoped for but as an accomplished businessman, he did not let it on and gently followed Heero's pace.

_ How many of your body guards out there?" Asked Heero after the complimentary greetings died down and Quatre was comfortably seated in the sofa besides Duo.

_ Why? One bodyguard and my chauffeur." Quatre answered in stride.

Heero just nodded and went to busy himself in the kitchen before heading out with a tray set for two.

_ He didn't change much, did he?" Quatre commented as the door closed behind the cook. "As awkwardly thoughtful as ever.

Duo hummed in agreement.

_ I was surprised you offered to make dinner for once, after so many stories about your culinary disasters. But I'm even more intrigued now, it seems Heero did the cooking?

_ He's really good at it, and is teaching me a bit. I think I'm good to make edible pasta now.

It might not be much, but Duo was quite proud of it. Quatre laughed him off, good naturedly. Until a noise from Heero's room made him tense and ready to draw the very small pistol that never left his ankle. Duo did not mind his friend having a weapon even in his house, one was never too careful. But...

_ Hola, easy tiger! It must be Trio.

Duo laughed at the face his friend made hearing the name.

_ Blame Heero, he's the one who named him.

_ Named who? You got a pet or something?

_ More like something." Duo teased as he got up to see what the Doll was up to. The familiar frimousse was half hidden behind the door "My, you can come you know. Quatre not gonna hurt you. He's a friend even if he's a bit jumpy.

The front door clicked open and closed as Trio shook his head, slowly.

_ Trio overdid this afternoon, she needs to rest. Cool down a bit then recharge.

_ Can't he do that in the living with us?

Quatre was looking between them with wonder creasing his eyebrows.

_ Trio's a Doll." Duo explained.

_ An awakened IA." Heero completed. "Her body is no match for her abilities, so she needs to rest a lot.

At Duo's urge, Quatre came forward to greet the little thing.

_ Hello there. I'm Quatre. Nice to meet you.

In answer, Trio waved a hand in a vague salute, placed his hand on his chest, three fingers up, then bowed before Heero picked him up and disappeared in his room.

_ I didn't know your Dolls were that accomplished.

_ They're not supposed to. This one is an unexplainable exception.

Heero came back and they started on the appetizer. If Quatre was surprised by how comfortable Heero was in Duo's kitchen, he didn't say anything, at first.

With the appetizers came the usual conversations between people who haven't seen each other for a while : what you up too lately? Business still flourishing? Then the ups and downs of dealing with customers, or contractors. The political weather. All while sipping at soft drinks since Quatre didn't drink alcohol.

Then the first course : a seafood soup with green little squares of algae. Duo was used to having strange things appear on his table, it always ended up being good, so he dug up with enthusiasm and no second thought. Quatre followed more carefully.

_ So, Heero, how long have you been here?" Quatre was carefully picking a mussel from the soup by its shell.

_ About two months.

Heero wasn't looking, but Duo caught the bland look his friend gave them, the quick glance he send Duo's way before changing subject. Namely, what Heero has been up to during all this time. The misunderstanding was clear. Duo made a bet with himself that Quatre would circle around and ask about Trowa before the end of main course.

Heero didn't reveal much more than Duo already knew and nothing about his relationship with Trowa. Still, Duo was surprised to learn Heero had actually been to an Art school to for three years. Recommended by an old man he met in Italy.

_ You've got a thing for that country, have you?" Duo teased.

_ It's a beautiful place. And, that's where..." Heero didn't finish, Duo blushed. That's where he and Trowa had been together during the war. Must have been where they came together.

_ Where what?" Asked Quatre clueless.

_ I believe the saying is : 'Where I lost my virginity and found a reason to live'.

Quatre hiccuped. Duo hid his smile behind his glass (thankfully, Heero had consented in opening a bottle of wine). Guess there was one thing Duo could agree with Wufei about, Heero's wine was really good.

_ I never knew you met Relena in Italy.

If Heero had rolled his eyes any wider, they would have popped out.

_ Relena and I never had and never will have any kind of romantic relationship." He rapped out.

_ I... erm... You...

_ Yes Quatre. It is about time you stop believing your own tales and start looking around a bit more. She's not going to wait for you to make up your mind forever.

Duo smirked, he _had_ thought Quatre's attitude toward their princess had become ambiguous lately.

_ Heero's right, you should go for it Quat'.

_ But then... who?

Heero's glare was sharp enough to cut tomatoes. Quatre dropped the subject with a deep blush.

Then the main course arrived, direct from the oven. It smelled of lemongrass. Duo was about certain he had never eaten duck before, nor the asparagus served as side dish. It was getting to be his favorite meat. The greenery wasn't bad either.

_ So, have you met anyone else since Christmas?" Quatre asked after tasting one slice of duck.

_ Pagan, as usual and I managed to catch Relena between two urgent meeting for a lunch. Wufei lives in my apartment since I'm there. Trowa calls from time to time. He's pretty busy with the Circus and his niece.

Oh man, Duo loved Quatre, truly, he was his best friend. But I was so much fun to watch Heero give him a dime for his money and bluntly bulldoze through all the tiptoeing.

Quatre was left gaping and trowing more glances toward Duo.

_ It was fast.

_ No. You're simply the last one I reconciled with." Heero softly answered.

Ow, that hurt.

_ Why?

_ Not because I don't like you, Quatre. My live was complicated, and I was afraid your goodwill would complicate it more. There were things I had to do by myself, and I don't think you would have let it be. You didn't actually.

_ I've missed you." Quatre finally admitted, not know what else to say.

The subject changed again, rolling onto Trio until Heero got up to take away the empty dishes. Duo followed with his own load of 'to put away'. Quatre had brought an assortment of petit-fours for desert and Duo decided he needed some tea to wash off all that sugar (not that he minded sugary treats).

He offered some to Quatre as he absentmindedly reached for the cups and bags over Heero's shoulder who was placing the petit-fours on a plate.

He only realized he must have put his hand on Heero's back, as balance and to avoid crashing into him, like he used to with Hilde, when he caught one more of Quatre's sharp glance. As he waited for the kettle to boil and made some instant decaffeinated for Heero, he wondered how many times things like this might have happened the last two months.

Bah... If Heero would have said something if it bothered him.

Ultimately, Quatre put Trowa back on the table as he and Heero were getting on the couch. Duo had shoed them away from the kitchen and was washing up the dishes. 'I insist, you cooked, I wash'.

_ Seen Trowa again since last time Duo?

_ Yup, he managed to come over once for a few days. Like Heero said, he's still busy with the Circus and training his replacement. We call each other whenever he can.

_ He should be back soon." Heero piped in calmly.

_ He told you?" Duo couldn't help the small spark of jealousy.

_ No, but unless the Circus schedule changed they're supposed to head to L3 by the end of the week and be here within the next two.

Duo looked up to the calendar near the door. Not that he could read it from where he was. True, it was about the time the Circus was coming by.

The discussion changed subjects again, until Heero went out to offer some more coffee to Quatre's guards.

_ Duo, what do you think you're doing there?

_ Having a friend home, with the complete consent of my boyfriend?" Duo answered fully innocent. "In fact, I'm starting to wonder if it's not Trowa who told Heero I wasn't faring too well living alone.

_ And in what parallel universe is it OK for a guy to send his boyfriend's teenage crush to keep him company?

_ Yanno, not everybody is gay Quatre. And nothing ever happened between me and Heero.

That wasn't really a lie, that wasn't really forthcoming either, Duo knew Heero wasn't into women but he didn't like too much Quatre prying into his life. If everyone involved was ok with the situation, where was the problem?

_ I'm not going to jump on him now because I had a crush years ago. I wouldn't do that to Trowa, I love him.

Quatre refilled his cup of tea and said nothing. Duo huffed.

A couple days later, while doing the morning dishes, Heero announced his upcoming departure.

* * *

**Trowa Barton AC195**

* * *

He slowly left the latch click back into the locked position.

It was late at night, there hadn't been any MS test that day, so he hadn't been able to make contact with his lover. It was tantalizing to know he was so close, and yet unattainable. It was easier to forget how good it felt to have him when there was a whole Earth between them.

He just wanted to see him, maybe exchange a word or two.

Maybe he shouldn't have.

Three days ago, when he first saw Heero carefully laying an obviously hurt Duo Maxwell against the wall, they conducted a silent conversation consisting of raised eyebrows and furtive glances and ending with Heero, all suited-up, bumping into his shoulder with a cocky grin: "How many MS Doll will I get to destroy before you threaten to detonate me today?"

Meaning : The officer besides him at the time, Lieutenant Bauer, had taken a disturbing interest in Chang Wufei. Duo Maxwell had caught on that and decided to rile up the man to divert his attention. Apparently he did not mind too much being beaten, but his body wasn't as enthusiastic.

And Heero cared about the loudmouthed idiot. To the point of sleeping with the guy in his arms. He pursed his lips. He knew Heero had not been kissing the guy, nor having done anything of a sexual nature, not with Chang Wufei as witness.

But he knew how sensitive his lover's scantly clad body was. And for once, he didn't like it one bit.

* * *

_Yeah, I'm awfully late. I no longer have spare chapters and Heero wanted to be a drama queen in this one, had to rewrite three times to make him reasonable._

_I will probably slow down the updating from now. See you every other Tuesday. (or Friday when I forget)_


	17. Chapter 17

**Duo Maxwell - AC204 April  
**

* * *

It was not because he did not want to Duo didn't even tried to make Heero stay. It was simply he knew Heero well enough; when he decided on something, there was no point trying to change his mind. Still, he wanted to.

Then he noticed the timing was a little too convenient, Heero getting out of the way just before Trowa was supposed to come back. Definitely not a coincidence. He had been in those shoes often enough to know how it feels to be relegated in the guest room when the one you love has someone else in the master room.

So, Duo didn't try.

He put on a smile, helped Heero gather his stuff and Trio and drove them to the spacio-port. Back to square one. At least he wouldn't be alone too long before the Circus arrival. After that...

Well... he knew how to cook pasta and mashed potatoes or not burn a steak now. His second attempt at living on his own should be less disastrous than the first one.

Not that there was too much to carry, (Heero was leaving accompanied by the same sailor bag and suitcase he came with, plus Trio) once again, Duo borrowed Vern's car to carry them all. Maybe he should invest in one too?

For a change, the short trip to the spacioport was uneventful. Meaning there was no excuse for Heero to be late and stay just a little longer. The World hated Duo, and it was fully reciprocated.

_ Guess we're on time for once, even quite early. Wanna grab a drink before you get through?" Duo asked hopefully looking at the departure timetable. Heero declined, it was a work day after all and Duo was already quite late to open his shop.

Even the hug Heero allowed him was quick and lacked warmth. Leaving Duo feel colder than before.

'Heartless bastard', Duo thought as he was watching Heero's back heading to the security check. No, he didn't feel charitable right now, even if he knew he would amend soon enough.

The first time they met, Heero had been the one flying away, they hadn't had time to really get to know each other, then it was Duo who left first. They were acquainted. There was Relena, and Duo was getting attached. So he did what he knew best : find the first occasion to run and hide.

Sadly, Heero seemed to have taken the habit to walk away without much of a warning.

Duo was about to turn tail and head back to his lonely life when some... disturbance caught his eyes.

A buff security guard looking crossly at Trio.

Heero stiff and threatening.

A less buff but obviously more ranked guard arriving.

And exchange of card and a sudden change of attitude.

Heero passed without being subjected to any check.

To be welcomed to the other side by a Preventer Duo was sure he had seen before.

Except : there was no Preventer stationed on 2X3056.

Leading to one question : what kind of "Freelance Tech Job" that lasted a little longer than intended granted that kind of freepass?

_ Wufei, what the fuck did you drag Heero in?" Duo shook his head, Heero was gone now and he wasn't going to call Lieutenant Chang to get to the bottom of this. Not with this little intel.

On the way to his workshop, Duo decided he would go to the Nightshade tonight, it had been a while and he needed the distraction. Sometimes, he wished he could afford to get completely wasted like most young men.

That was why, after a surprisingly productive work day, Duo found himself on a stool, nursing a cocktail with much too little alcohol and way too much sugar. It was still early, Nigh-life wise, and the clientele was sparse.

_ Long time no see Maxwell.

_ Been busy, had a friend home for a few weeks.

_ That gorgeous green eyes you brought once? Did we scare him that much?

Duo took a few sips from a sparkling blue straw with a little mermaid twined around and shook his head.

_ That one's my man, I said friend. And not one I wish to bring here.

_ Too straight? Or you're ashamed of him?

_ Too scared of the ruckus it would make.

Eiden whistled at the comment and went on cutting his limes, pineapple and other watermelon.

_ You mean your non-straight, live-in friend is even more dashing than the one you're having a long-distance relation-ship with?

_ I wont try to make out what you're implying there, it feels unflattering." Duo answered drily before glupping half his drink. "And, no He... Torii is not... they're different.

How to put it exactly?

_ Trowa is gorgeous, when he wants to be noticed. But he's tall and noticeably well toned, so people might leer but mostly, they were cautious about getting too close. He... Torii, is a petite brunet with blue eyes, he gives off that... vibe that tends to attract teens and perverts.

_ Young?

_ About my age, but looks much younger.

_ And you were afraid he was gonna be mugged or harrased in _my_ bar?

_ Oh, not at all," Duo tried to placate Eiden's ruffled feathers with both hands. "I know your policies and that's why your abode it my favorite. I was more afraid your goons wouldn't even have time to notice the harassment before the annoying bugs would be smashed onto the pavement.

Duo huffed at the lost look he got from the bartender, now washing some mint.

_ Let's say even Leo's not match for him.

_ And it makes him more dangerous that it doesn't show.

_ You've got it." Duo tipped his mostly empty glass to the man. "Another?

He was getting trough the third diluted drink when the usual band gathered around. He got a few elbowing and had to offer a couple rounds to make up for his desertion, all the usual. All in all, it was good to be back, like slipping into old well worn shoes.

Talking about habits.

_ Leo's not there tonight?

_ Nah, he said he was away for a couple days, got a VIP to escort.

_ He's an escort?" Duo realized with surprise he had no idea what was Leo's job. "Or a chauffeur?

_ Max, Leo's a Preventer.

_ There is no Preventer in the Dumpster." It was a well known motto here.

_ There is Leo, he's the only one, and not really an official. At first it was an undercover thing, he never told me the specifics, 'top secret'. Now, he's officially more like a liaison with the local authorities.

Duo had stopped listening halfway through. No wonder the suited up man who welcomed Heero looked familiar; not that Duo had ever seen the blonde wearing anything else than dazzling outfits.

_ What do you mean, 'undercover'?" He asked, fighting to keep cool.

_ Not sure, something about smuggling and terrorism I believe. He never got more specific.

Duo forcibly let go of his glass before it breaks and took a deep breath. His friend was only the news bearer.

_ Coming right back, I've got a Chinese dick to yell at." He threw at the gathered group before heading out, vid-com already in hand.

Heero using the Preventers to smuggle his bottle of wine or get free (and most likely more comfortable) rides between Earth and the Colonies was one thing. He's never been one for following the law or comply to customs if they didn't agree with him.

But Wufei, because who else?, sticking a Preventer on his ass!

_ You dastardly asshole!" He yelled as soon as the call connected. "Once a thief always a thief, yeah? Or once a terrorist always a terrorist? What sick reason did you find in your pricky head to stick a fucking warden on my case!?

_ I'm gonna hang up." The cold answer came through as Duo was taking his breath.

_ Don't you dare!" He growled.

The Chinese's voice grew even colder if it was possible.

_ First, I made the order, but I'm not the one who chose to send an man your way. Second, for all I care, those New-OZ wannabe targeting us, including you, could have blown you up as they liked. Third, if you've got a complain, address it to my boss.

Duo was rarely speechless. It was one of those rare times. The rant died down like a swatted boner. Even if Wufei had clearly stated his (false) opinion on the matter, Duo felt oddly touched.

_ Don't say that, you don't mean it. Deep down, you love me." He finally whispered through the com.

_ I'd rather swallow my saber.

Duo smiled, there was so many teasing opportunities there.

_ Don't." Wufei warned him immediately, the frost was gone by now.

_ I didn't say nothing.

_ Yeah... I could hear your dirty mind from there.

Duo went back to the main topic, Leo being a Preventer.

_ Protection? Why had he never said anything then?" He let his back rest against the building behind him. This was turning more into a conversation, and he wasn't going to stand in the middle of the side walk. He had already attracted more than enough attention.

_ You're a civilian Maxwell. You're not supposed to be privy of sensitive intel.

_ Why me though. What did those guys want?

_ Revenge, mostly. And you weren't the only possible target. Just the most vulnerable.

_ I'm vulnerable? Have you met me?

_ You have no security measure of any kind, anywhere. You went _utterly_ civilian.

_ Cut the crap Fei, I'm home there, I have eyes and ears everywhere.

_ And yet it escaped you that one of your drinking buddy is a Preventer.

Touché...

_ Who's that superior of yours anyway? Why would they insist on protecting me? Or had they figured it would be easier to catch those guys when they'll get out of hiding to come after me? Is it Sally?

_ No, she does not have that kind of authority. And like I said, ask him.

_ Who?" Duo was getting tired of the bullshit.

_ General Lowe." Wufei finally relented. Duo's jaw froze.

_ That. Can't be a coincidence.

_ Then it probably isn't. Now, I'd like to finish my lunch before the next boring meeting.

_ Yeah, have fun.

It was only after he hung up and scrolled through his whole telephone book, Duo remembered : he did not have Heero's number. He hadn't needed it while rooming up together, he hadn't thought to ask for it afterward.

_ Shit.

He stuffed his com in his pocket and headed back in.

General... he was only twenty-three, Crissake!

What kind of 'freelance tech-job' could even lead to that?

He needed a drink, a stiff one this time.

Fucking Odin Lowe Jr.

Or Heero Yui.

Or Toya Torii.

Whatever his name.

Heero, Preventer. He was the last one Duo would have ever imagine enrolling in any kind of military, or paramilitary.

_ Eiden, your most disgusting stiff, please.

_ That bad?

_ Were I to believe in some kind of superior authority, I would think someone had decided to muck with my brain.

Did Trowa know? About Leo?

Duo drained his drink, coughed a bit and toyed with the idea of another. He'd rather come home at least half sober. He renounced. He could always drain one of the expensive bottles Heero left behind if he really wanted to throw himself a pity party.

Pickaboo

Two days later, Duo found the courage to call Trowa, for once. He half hoped to end up on the voice mail. His boyfriend answered, he was relaxing on a bench, with a view over the stars and Earth. The circus was already on L3.

_ Having a break between performances?" Duo asked, smile on.

Just as the call connected, Duo had decided not to talk about Leo, or Heero's four stars. It was a topic you don't broach on the com. But he also wasn't used to bite his tongue about stuff. He tried hard not to let his discomfort show, not hard enough, it was Trowa on the other side. He knew something wasn't right.

_ Duo, something's on your mind." He was frowning. It wasn't a good sign.

_ No, of... Actually, yes. But now's not the time.

Trowa dropped it, but it was pretty obvious he was not happy about this answer. They kept talking about irrelevant stuff, family, business. But it was strained and ended too early, leaving an ashen taste in Duo's mouth.

He should have waited to confront Leo before he called Trowa. He didn't mind putting a dent in his half-baked friendship with the blonde as much as he minded risking this tentative love-thing with Trowa.

An the first dent had been made.

Duo had let Hilde pull away and come back so many times, and said nothing.

He had let Heero leave without much of a word, and said nothing.

Trice was not the charm. The Hell if he let Trowa leave him without a fight. He couldn't wait for the man to be there already.

Pickaboo

It was almost closing time on Thursday when Duo's shop bell jingled to let enter a young, blonde man with a plain shirt and a pair of jeans. It took Duo a few seconds to recognize Leo.

_ I heard you didn't take the news well. So, I guess I might have some clarifications to make?

_ Yes, you do." Duo answered curtly. Leo shrugged and turned Duo's sigh to 'closed' before finding a seat on the counter.

_ First I need to know if Trowa knew about you, before you 'met' at the Nightshade.

_ Why should he?" Was the genuinely surprised answer. Not really an answer by Duo's standards.

_ Please, just answer me.

_ I can't tell what he knows or not. What I know is : I never met him before, I never heard of him besides his role in the war. I still don't get why I should.

_ He's been Heero's boyfriend for years. You might have... escort them around some time or other.

The conversation seemed to just get more confusing. Leo clearly not getting what Duo was saying.

_ Again, why should I have?

_ Because you just did! I saw you four days ago...

And it hit him. Leo might not even know... And it seemed to have hit Leo too.

_ Four days ago, I brought a General back to Earth.

_ Odin Lowe Jr." Duo finished. "I know, I saw you after I dropped him, with a particular Doll, at the spacioport.

_ He's Heero Yui.

_ And you didn't know... Let's get home." Duo suddenly decided. It wasn't a conversation he wanted to have in a semi public place like his shop.

_ Let's go to my place then. It's closer and there's something you might explain to me.

Leo, still on the counter waited patiently for Duo to straighten-up his stuff and properly close his shop before leading the way to small but comfortable studio three blocks away.

_ Nice location." Duo commented offhandedly.

_ Yeah, it has a nice view on your back door." Leo admitted. "I'm looking for something bigger now that we are fairly certain no one's gonna come plant a bomb under your desk.

He unlocked the door.

_ Well, not one from the group we were watching out at least.

_ Oh. If it's only an angry customer with a gun, it's not that important.

_ I believe you can handle that kind of customer." He stepped aside to let his guest come in.

That not what Wufei imp...lide... Wow.

There was a Heero on Leo's wall.

Or more exactly : a serigraph depicting two non-gendered figures, in black ink on cream silk. There both wore smart suits, one black, one white, and held guns, one up near a tense shoulder, one down alongside a thigh. The dark clad figure with a held-up gun was on the right, facing the viewer, the white clad figure with the down gun was three quarter back and turning their head over a shoulder. One could have been Relena with a nest of a hair and cobalt blue eyes, the other Heero with long hair and lighter blue eyes.

There was something tense in the sharp lines of their bodies, not nervous but determined. As Duo had known them a long time ago.

_ Where did you get that?

* * *

**Trowa Barton - AC195**

* * *

He hesitated, one hand poised to knock.

Not because he wasn't sure of what he was about to do, he was going to anyway. There were enough reasons to do so.

The official one, the one he told Heero and kept telling himself was pragmatic : if things kept going, Maxwell was going to become a liability when the time to get the Hell out of here would come.

Heero was very against it at first and only relented to begrudgingly agree to it when Duo Maxwell came back wheezing from cracked ribs.

There were other reasons, those he wouldn't tell Heero with his dying breath, he even had a hard time acknowledging it. He was fed up watching his lover getting comfortable with Maxwell, despite the sex they kept having together (albeit too quick and too far between to his liking).

On an even deeper, darker level, he wanted to know what it felt being held, while Heero could never do that for him.

That was the reason he was still dwelling in that corridor instead of knocking at the innocuous door. He was afraid he might like it too much. He was afraid he might hate it so much he would never be able to make Heero suffer that too. He was afraid Heero would realize he wanted to do that, and not just because it had to be done.

Heero had been so much against the plan. He was terrified he would never forgive him.

"Please, don't hate me."

He knocked and entered when invited. No matter what would happen tonight; tomorrow, Lieutenant Bauer would be caught having spent the night with a minor subordinate and transferred somewhere far.

Then Quatre Raberba Winner happened.

* * *

Next will be a little different, Leo's story, no Trowa.


	18. Chapter 18

**Duo Maxwell AC204 April**

* * *

Still gaping at the serigraph, Duo could hear Leo chuckle and shuffle somewhere behind him.

_ Want a drink?

Leo was leaning over the opened door of his mini fridge, one beer already in hand.

_ Anything soft sans fizz.

Instead of getting another can, Leo fished a bottle from under a lettuce.

_ Cold cocoa?

Duo accepted the offer and returned to the painting as Leo poured him a glass and opened his own drink. A few footsteps later, he could feel a shoulder grazing his and cold glass brush his hand. He grabbed the drink and tried a sip.

Duo grimaced, dairy... He was used to the hazelnut milk. He hadn't thought...

_ Sorry, I forgot spacers weren't used to dairy. I might have some juice somewhere?

Duo swatted the worry away and took a second sip. He should be able to digest one glass of the drink. It was unusual but not bad, once the surprise passed.

_ So, that painting, that's exactly what I wanted to ask you about. It does look like him, Lowe. Or... Heero Yui. I still can't believe I met the legend and never knew.

_ Yeah, it's him, mostly. I still can't believe he became a Preventer, much less a General. And he would hate you tagging him as a legend. War took too much of him, that's not something he would want to build a reputation over.

_ That's why he changed name?

_ Odin Lowe is his real name." Duo retorted, then took a seat at one end of the convertible. "But, if you don't mind answering me first? Where did you get that?

Leo seated himself too and nodded, rolling his beer between his hands.

_ At the 'end of year' exhibit of an art school my grand-father asked me to attend.

Duo dropped of his shoes and snuggled himself more comfortably in the sofa, that sounded like a long story.

pickaboo

Leo's grand father was a Venete soldier who had married a Swiss and moved to the Alps for her sake. He entered labor work, and spent his free time painting the mountains around. They had three children, their second being Leo's mother.

She married a German engineer and followed him further North, near the Baltic. Leicht, Leo had a weak constitution and respiratory trouble. As he needed as much pure air as possible, he spent most of his childhood with his grand-parents. Until it was only his grand-father left and they moved back to his hometown. Leo graduated from high-school and went abroad for a two years scholarship.

Some when in between, war broke. His parents became casualties, as a veteran, his grand-father had been called back into the ranks despite his age.

And five boys with their Gundam, backing up a young, strong-willed Princess, ended this war (after making it worse for a while, Duo would say: they had been young, they went with their hearts, and not too much brains).

Leo hadn't finished his studies. He offered his grand-father to come back early. The man had declined, told him his future was the most important. Himself was fine spending the next couple years devoting his time to painting.

Later, when he finally came back his diploma passed, Leo leanrt his grand-father hadn't been on his own and taken a boy under his wing.

To increase his meager retirement income, and because he simply love to draw and paint, Guido had take to spend his days on the San Marco Plazza, offering, like several other artists, to draw portraits for the tourists.

It was a nice kind of job, when you didn't need to rely solely on its income to make a living. It was forcing him to go out of his too still apartment and allowing him to discuss with many different people on a regular basis. Off season, when the tourists would get scarce, he would dig out his colors and wander around town to paint whatever caught his gaze.

He could never tell exactly when the boy appeared. There had been too many people during the Carnival. So, either during, or just after the Carnival. All he knew was that, one morning there was a boy standing close to his usual spot. And he spent the say, silently looking over his shoulder.

He hadn't thought too much about it at first, plenty of people used to spend some time looking at how he committed the life around him to canvas. A whole day was a bit much, but maybe the boy was bored as his parents, who came for the Carnival and stayed a bit longer were lurking around.

The boy came back the next day, and the following. Until a week slipped by in silence.

The last tourists went away, the city settled in its half asleep state between seasons and the boy was still there. No longer all day, but every day, wherever Guido decided to put down his easel the boy would come by and stay for a while.

Until he spoke.

Spring was slowly coming around.

_ How do you do that?

Guido looked at the boy who had surprising blue eyes in a noticeably Asian figure. He could either be twelve or forty for all Guido knew. His eyes sure looked old, much older than he ever imagined.

_ Paint? Haven't you watched me enough to figure that out?

The boy shook his head.

_ How do you say so much, without words? Can you teach me?

Guido shook his head. He could teach the boy about colors and techniques, the importance of light and composition. But it didn't seem to be what the boy needed.

_ What do you want to say? If you had a brush, and the technique, what would you want to say?

The boy opened his mouth but didn't seem to find a suitable answer.

_ Then why do you want to learn painting?

The answer, in all its candid simplicity told Guido much more than the simple sentence did.

_ I'm not good with words.

Guido nodded and told the boy to come back meet him the next day by the Rialto. He would bring another drawing set.

The boy was already there when he arrived. After a long evening thinking, Guido had decided against bringing the boy oil paint, the technique was complicated and it wasn't his purpose. Aquarelle, offering no much leeway for mistakes was out. So he settled on Pastels. It held like any pencil and, even if it couldn't be completely erased, the mistakes could more easily be corrected.

Blue eyes stared blankly at the pad of thick paper for a while at first. He didn't seem to know what to draw. Then, somehow, the boy settled in drawing Guido himself.

The firsts tries were admittedly abysmal. Angular, nervous and horrifyingly tense. The Asian had most likely never drawn his whole life, however long or short it had been. But he was stubborn, and day after day, he would come back, untiringly drawing Guido, again and again.

Pastels didn't suit the boy's nervous hand, he was pressing too much, crunching the lean against the paper, saturating the blank space in clashing colors. Dark colors. It wasn't only the boy's hand that was heavy.

So Guido tried felt pen, acrylic, pencils. Anything of color. He was partially afraid of how a black and white painting from that hand would look like.

After three month, he could count on one hand the number of times he saw the lad smile. Usually during one of his short conversations on the com, in a language Guido didn't know, with the kind of higher pitched voice people used to take when talking with children.

Once, the boy told him he wouldn't come for the next four days. He never said why. Guido didn't ask. He came back looking tired, but in a lighter mood than Guido ever saw him. It showed on his few next tries. It occurred again, three and six months later.

Surprisingly, painting with a soft brush seemed to suit the boy most. Like, aware of the delicateness of his tool, he would alleviate his own strength not to break it.

It hadn't been easy at first, the drawings were just that much bad, but soon, the boy's untold words started to show under his brush. It spoke of misery and loneliness. But not just that, there was hope too, and kindness.

It was terribly sad and reminded Guido of his own feelings, after the first war, when he was struggling to recover. Before he finally met his wife. Guido wondered his the boy was old enough to have participated in the last war between the Colonies and the Alliance or if he was simply one of its many casualties.

Did it really matter? The boy was a broken soul stubbornly trying to find a way to mend and be whole again.

Blank sheet after blank sheet, the boys learnt how to talk, without words. He was rough and unskilled, but the meaning was becoming clearer. His obvious frustration from the beginning had steadily turned into mild satisfaction.

_ Now you know." Guido said during a warm summer day. The boy silently agreed. "Do you want to learn more about the techniques?

_ If you don't mind.

Guido wouldn't teach the boy, he was no teacher and had limited skills himself despite his love for the art. So he called a friend of his, an art school director, to recommend the boy to him for the next semester, in September.

As a parting gift, the boy gave Guido his last, and best, portrait of the man. A seemingly peaceful Aquarelle with shadows lurking at the edges, etched deep in the man's wrinkles.

It takes one tho know one.

Leo came back from school the next summer. That was when he learnt about his grand-father's protégé. And when he was asked to come with him, take a look at his progress. So they packed up light baggage and took the train to Milan.

The school year had obviously already ended, but the school was now open to visitors, to create vocations or promote their most promising students. The year's best arts and those the art-students were willing to show, or even sell, were lining the walls.

They had been warmly welcomed by Guido friend, and as the two men kept on reminiscing about people and situations older that Leo himself, boredom pushed the young man to wander on his own among the hallways.

Most paintings were fairly good, but none were very appealing to him. Modern art wasn't his thing, neither was the naive kind of pictures drawn by dreamy kids.

It was in a remote corridor, facing the inside garden of a former cloister, he found a young man, maybe just a little younger than him, silently crying in front of one of the paintings. Leo's footsteps had faltered, it didn't feel like the Chinese in a crisp suit would like to be found out.

But curiosity had him, what kind of painting could make so many tears run down such a young man's cheeks? He softly stepped forward, mindful to keep his gaze on the canvases instead of the beautiful (because from up close those high cheekbones, soft eyes and fine features were stunning) crying man.

Leo didn't go as far as crying. He still felt a huge lump lodging his throat looking at the paintings. Several obviously came from themed assignment and were unassuming both in quality and topic. Others...

They probably didn't come from a student in their last year, too little skills. They were eye catching, taut thinly stretched figures in dull colors, contrasting with too full, too brightly colored people, with too dark shadows.

It was a haunted kind of painting.

The only seemingly peaceful one was the very canvas that was making the Chinese man cry. A person with silky dark hair brushing their shoulders sitting at a windowsill, looking out to the faintest trace of a dark night: a few stars, some tree shadows and a bone white road disappearing in between.

The focus was mostly on the reflection on the window, the man's face was a blur, but everything else in the room behind the watcher was extraordinarily clear. It was a study of sort, full of light wood shelves bending under books and knick-knacks, warm carpets and plush armchairs.

And a woman with long dark hair.

The sign besides the painting said it had been done for an assignment with the theme "Hopeful future" and it was not to be sold.

It didn't look full of hope.

The one who caught his attention was "Kindred", a black and white serigraph, with two figures ready to pounce onto whatever threat was coming to them. It wasn't supposed to be sold either.

_ Do you really like that picture, or just my face?

Leo almost jumped at the sudden comment. The other laughed softly.

_ You were staring a bit." He answered the unspoken question, amusement coloring his voice.

_ May I say both?" Leo asked. You can't win if you don't play, do you?

The other shrugged easily.

_ If you don't fear being disappointed.

Of course, the guy was a straight arrow. Shame...

_ And yes, I find that painting catching.

The technique was far from perfect, one arm was too long, the shoulder angle of the figure in the right was awkward, some lines a little trembled, but they felt full of ruthless, determined, life.

_ Chang WuFei." The Chinese man offered with his hand. "They were... precisely like that.

_ Who?" Leo asked dumbly. Chang smirked at him, if he didn't know, no point telling him. Only later, much later, did Leo realize the long haired one looked quite Relena Darlian. When he met the officer who sent him to L2. The other figure on the serigraph.

_ Ciao Leo, seems like you found your way to our boy's work on your own." It was his grand-father and the director finally coming their way.

Apparently the director already knew Chang WuFei and introduced him as a friend of his student, Toya Torii. Leo idly thought it was odd for a Chinese to be friend with a Japanese guy.

_ So you just happened to become a Preventer and meet WuFei again?" Duo finally asked.

_ No, Chang and I kept in touch afterward, he convinced his friend to give me that painting. I followed him to the Preventers. I liked the way he talked about his job. It seemed... meaningful in a way my commercial studies weren't.

_ And maybe you could be able to bend that arrow, given enough time?" Duo teased, knowing how shameless Leo tended to be about his means to find a sexual partner.

_ I only thought that for the first three months. Then I learnt to respect him. And I can't offer him anything worth abandoning his hopes for getting a family. The rebirth of his clan is very important to him.

Guess Duo now knew why WuFei had been so rude when he said he didn't want children, at all, never. Despite Hilde's own desire to have some, someday.

_ So... your turn. What's the connection between Toya Torii, Odin Lowe and Relena Darlian?

Duo smirked, an eyebrow raised. Leo thought out his last comment before huffing softly.

_ _Heero Yui_ and Relena Darlian.

_ Right..." Duo drawled, put that way, the answer was much more glaring, obvious.

_ I don't see them being as similar as the painting show them. Makes me wonder how well Toya Torii knew them.

_ Very well, trust me. And you haven't looked closely at those live show where Relena is pitted against some fool thinking they can cow her. During the war, only their means were different, but not their goals, nor their convictions. And they definitely had the same strong will.

This time it was Leo who settled for a story on his own.

_ Leo, I don't have much to tell that WuFei wouldn't already have.

_ Chang WuFei is my senior officer, not my friend. We had chats, but he's never willing to talk about the war and your lot.

_ You think I would be more willing?

_ Maybe, I don't want to pry, but... you made history. The five of you.

_ We were five pilots, but history was made by many more people, and... we were just stupid kids, fed up to see our colonies being strangled by Terran economy, with too powerful weapons. We also didn't want to see Earth get destroyed by a falling colony. That's why between the Romfellers and the Bartons, we took the third option. What other choice did we have?

They had been an uncoordinated mismatch of young will, too insecure to entrust their unbeatable weapon to anyone else than themselves. Too green to really know what they were doing. They did so terrible things, killed so many people, some they didn't mean to.

Whatever, they did what felt right, then did their best to straighten up their mistakes, clean the mess up.

The question was : did the Gundam and their pilots do more good or bad? Would the world be better if someone else had fought those battle?

They would never know. And they had to live with it.

_ You didn't make the choice to create the Gundams, and from what you're saying better be you guys than those Barton's goon.

Then Leo gaped, connecting some dots.

_ Trowa Barton's not his real name either." Duo shrugged. "He doesn't remember his real name, so he kept that one.

_ You still haven't told me where Toya Torii fit in all this.

_ It's Heero's nom de plume. And the name he uses when he doesn't want to attract attention.

Leo stared, kept on staring, then blushed.

_ I never said that before, I never thought I would ever say that, but : I almost wish I was straight. Good thing he's so much above my grade." Then after a moment musing about it. "I wonder what Grand-da would have said about that. He knew Torii had been damaged by war, but I can't tell if he knew he had fought in it.

Heero hadn't fought only in the war. He, like Trowa, had fought his whole life.

No wonder neither knew how to live. Even Duo and his dozen of failed attempts at fostering had more experience than those two combined. He had Father Maxwell and Sister Helen who took care of him and treated him like the child he wasn't really. Even before, their little group of street rats cardinal rule was to take care of each other.

Not that he would tell any of it to Leo, Heero's and Trowa's stories were theirs to tell.

Later, once back home, Duo swore he would never drink cow milk again.


	19. Chapter 19

**Duo Maxwell - AC204 May**

* * *

Duo did not receive any call from Trowa to tell him when the Circus would be on L2. He simply got a short, written, message. It was both disheartening and confusing. Why would Trowa chase after him to give him the cold shoulder a few month later? Had he realized Duo wasn't what he expected? Unless he was jealous about Heero having spent so long at Duo's?

Heero knew about Trowa and Duo's relationship, he was okay with it. Besides a couple harmless flirting, he never did or said anything conspicuous.

Had Duo missed something neither told him?

The stream of questions was endless. And none could be answered before he got to see Trowa face to face.

If Trowa though he wasn't good enough, there wasn't much Duo could do. Otherwise, they would figure things out.

Duo wasn't ready to give up, not yet, not without a fight. He had already given up way too much.

Mindful not to bother the crew, he waited until the Circus was all set-up to venture in. A couple artists tried to direct him to the cashier but even to those who had never seen him, Trowa's lover and his long braid were quite known.

No surprise, he found the tall man near the Tiere, feeding them.

Duo knew better than get too close during feeding time and stayed there, just close enough to keep on watching. Just close enough to see the slight shoulder tensing when Trowa noticed his presence.

Now that he was there, stuck at the wall's foot, he felt less and less ready to climb it and overcome the difficulty, the fretfulness at the prospect of being left behind once more increasing with each heartbeat.

He almost jumped out of his skin when a warm ball of fur climbed his leg to crawl under his shirt.

_ Hey there." He managed to greet softly after recognizing the little monkey, already turning his every pockets inside out in search for the fruit Duo always brought with him. Not today, he had been too caught up with his fretting over Trowa to thing about Flunky. "Sorry buddy, no treat today.

The baboon tugged at his hair in retaliation for his uncaring behavior and settled in his arms, warm and comfy. Duo huffed a laugh. At least, Flunky's fondness for him was easy to understand, easy to answer too.

Humans were so much more complicated.

Either Trowa had just begun feeding his furry companion or he was dragging to avoid facing Duo. Neither suited Duo, but the latter even less. Thus, Flunky's warmth and it's fur's softness against his chest were very welcomed to help easing his growing nerves.

That really didn't sound good. And despite all his self-pep-talk, his desire to keep Trowa by his side and Flunky's calming presence, he had been about to give up and go back home trice before Trowa finally deigned to join him, face set, his usual warm smile gone to the wind.

Duo had spent the last week trying to figure what he wanted to say, came up with dozen of scenarii about how thing might turn around and every answer he could give.

Maybe it had been the time, the nerves, the accumulation.

As Trowa stood before him, his whole mind went blank. The little nerves he had valiantly tried to gather failed him. Duo just wanted to curl into his lovers arms, bask in his warmth and his musky smell.

But Trowa clearly wasn't available, and there still was the little monkey between them. Duo curled his arms around the ball of fur, desperately fighting to keep some kind of composure.

At last, he opened his mouth to say hello, or any kind of greeting. It escaped as a sob.

And any semblance of composure flew to the window, sucked out by the sidereal vacuum. Tears started to flow before he even realized how close they were.

Ashamed, he lowered his head, dropping his gaze on the now squirming baboon squeezed in his arms. Could he be more pitiful?

When Trowa sighed, he was already hearing him turn heels and walk away, disappointed. Duo always resented girls when they resorted to crying when things weren't going their way. He couldn't blame Trowa for feeling the same.

He stared when gentle hands wound around his, enjoining him to let go of Flunky, pry the little beast away from him. He hiccuped when those hands slid along his arms, behind his back, cradling, coaxing him to step forward and finally giving him the sanctuary he so needed.

He clung back, desperately trying to calm down. To hold onto the silver of hope : they would sort it out. What ever 'it' was.

_ I take that you still want me there." Trowa spoke softly after a while. Once Duo had stopped trembling in his arms. He nodded fervently.

_ What the heck gave you the idea I didn't!

Trowa shifted uncomfortably. Duo knew he didn't like to have to explain himself, but he wasn't to let it slide now. How could he make sure he wouldn't screw-up again if he didn't know where he did first?

pickaboo

Duo sighed and let his gaze wander around the small square Trowa had led him to. Whether it had been to get away from the Circus and keep their problems private or to stall their discussion a bit, Duo wouldn't know. Wouldn't ask. It didn't matter.

What mattered was Trowa being by his side, talking to him.

Duo was baffled, all this fretting and angsting over such a stupid little thing.

After Heero came to L2, Duo tried to not rub their happy little life in Trowa's nose. Trowa, his boyfriend, who was kilometers away and unable to be there.

Heero being Heero, hadn't said much about his every day life either.

In the end, Trowa had felt even more pushed aside, not even able to share his boyfriend and ex's lives through their conversations.

Added to Duo being clearly upset about something during their last call...

_ I had just learnt Leo was a Preventer. One Wufei and Heero had sent on my ass years back. I was a bit pissed by that and I wanted to know if you knew that, him, before I brought you to the Nightshade. I didn't want to address that issue through com though.

But Trowa hadn't known. He knew about the threat on their little group that has arisen a few years ago and that Heero had chosen to discreetly send someone Duo's way. But not that it had lasted, not that it had been Leo.

Duo breathed. He would have hated for Trowa to have known and said nothing. Even if, deep down, he knew he was being a bit unfair.

Hey, no one's perfect.

He let his gaze come back to the weary man sitting next to him. He wasn't sure what Trowa was looking at, his expression once again softened. Certainly something nice.

Duo tried to follow Trowa's eyes, to guess. To no avail.

So he looked, through his own eyes.

The square wasn't evenly shaped, with six streets, one was a dead end, leading to a small courtyard behind the Bakery, two were leading to one of the main streets. On the left, an old man was sweeping the sidewalk before his run down Delicatessen. Two kids were playing with cards near an anemic fountain and some recent hit was blaring through an opened window somewhere.

There was little passerby, even fewer vehicles crossing.

In the middle, a handful of benches under a couple trees. One of them currently supporting their very asses.

_ When I was a kid, all I cared about was : where is food, what is safe. I would look at this place and see the dead end behind the bakery, the ways to the main streets, that this poor man is easy to rob but you better beware of the baker's apprentice. Don't drink from that fountain unless you want to be sick all day. I would think that those kids' parents must be morons for letting their children out unsupervised.

That's what a street rat needed to know to survive. He could feel Trowa's surprised gaze on him. Hands joined between his knees, Duo went on.

_ The Dumpster you can see right now might not be a very attractive colony and still deserve its name, but at one point, it had been a lot worse. Even before the war, during the regular troubles between the Colonies and the Alliance, this wasn't a nice place to be. Every corner was a death trap in the waiting. Between the new plagues and the Mercenaries running loose, the question wasn't whether you'll stumble on another dead body this week but how many. Death was the only constant, my most faithful companion.

No wonder Duo attached himself to the one person Death did not want, no matter how much he courted Her.

_ I fled the first occasion I had. I was lucky I guess, Howard and his sweeper were good guys.

"It took years, after the war for me to stop expecting corpses at every corner. To start looking ahead. And I'm honestly not sure I would have gone that far if not for Hilde being by my side. When I met her, she was so alive, so... untouched by all that misery. So different from me. Being with her, I learnt to simply enjoy what was there. Having a heart beating, loitering around, eat a nice meal and simply have fun. I learnt to be alive.

"About this square, I could say the bakery sells really good pastries but its cakes aren't up to par. The delicatessen is unusually cheap but you never know when they'll get supplied. It's a quiet place to get a break from a shopping day. The kids wouldn't play so carefree if the place wasn't safe.

Then Hilde left, his fault, and the world had looked so bleak for a while only pierce by brief glimpses of brightness when Trowa called. Until Heero showed on his doorstep.

With Heero around, Duo's attention had been drawn on more little things. Heero would probably know that the delicatessen was cheap because the owner had a nephew working for a shipping company and send goods up-there for a lesser price by filling up in his others shipments, or something like that. He knew the bakery gave away their unsold to one of those recent associations for the destitute. Heero would most likely even have looked up why that fountain's waters smelled so stall.

Sometimes, Duo thought Heero had way too much time on his hands.

_ Or is a paranoid control freak with a really good intelligence network." Trowa interjected with a fond smile.

_ When I try to see things the way you showed me, things around become so different than they were. Now I am able to notice that the old man is regularly keeping an eye on the kids. And from time to time, the music lowers, to let the neighbor listen to their squabbling. To make sure they're still there and well.

"Even if it doesn't have the same feel as on Earth, the tree's sades on the pavement are as pretty to look at up here, too. Before you, I would have never cared much about the amused smile the old man has for the puppy chasing after his broom, tail wiggling.

As he said this, he noticed too, the bakery's apprentice loading a tray with a pot of coffee and a freshly made sandwich she brought to the back, likely for the boss. Soon the children rose up and the matron quickly fished a couple mini pastries to give them with a wink.

They left, giggling about their presents, waving the old man in passing. That neighborhood knew how to take care of each other. And it was sweet to witness.

_ And that's why I love you." He concluded, prudently eyeing his partner's beautiful face.

Duo hadn't much experience with confessions, but he was pretty sure 'bemused' shouldn't be the expression of someone who just got confessed to. It made him feel _very_ self conscious. A hand came to scratch his cheek.

_ You're not going to pretend you didn't say it today?

No, today, Duo wouldn't.

* * *

**Trowa Barton. AC295**

White, too bright, too white.

Hurt. So much.

The noise was annoying, getting on his nerves. He wanted to make it stop.

But he couldn't move.

He was trapped!

The annoying noises picked.

Trapped. Trapped. Must escape! Trapped!

Blackness went back, muffling everything around.

pickaboo

White.

Again.

Not _that_ white actually. More like cream colored. Not that bright either.

It still hurt.

The beeping noise was still there. Now he could recognize it.

Hospital.

He groaned, letting his heavy head drop back on the pillow.

He groaned again when his voice brought a flurry of busy nurses by his side.

He was already fed up with being there.

pickaboo

He had no idea how long he had been there before they came.

Just this has felt like an eternity. And definitely long enough to realize that he had absolutely no memories from before here and then. No memories, no name on his wrist tag, and no visit besides the hospital staff.

He was a noboby found by a carrier drifting amidst debris in a leaking spacesuit.

So why those suited-up men, and one woman, introducing their names preceded by military grades, were standing around his bed? Had he been found near one of their bases?

He didn't like their uniforms. There was something about them that screamed 'don't trust, don't tell them'.

Don't tell them what? He had nothing to say. So he said nothing, to their increasing frustration. Until they finally left.

Something was telling him they were planning to come back. And he'd rather not still being there when they did. His guts were twisting and churning deep inside at the thought of those militaries. Or maybe it was just the hospital bland food?

Still, he had nothing but his gut feeling to go by. So he'd rather follow it.

pickaboo

After having spent a few says there, and being encouraged to wander around to get his bearings back, he had noticed the day staff was much less attentive to their patients whereabouts. Too many people coming in and going out.

Just after lunch would be his best shot.

pickaboo

Stealing a set of clothes (since he didn't even seem to have some his own) and stepping out of the hospital had been even easier than expected.

It was a military hospital. It was written full letters at the entrance.

Looking up, his gaze met an artificial sky. Steel and alloys every where. He was on a colony. Not that knowing it was remotely useful for him.

pickaboo

It had been three days since he escaped (?), no, _left_ the hospital. During those three days, he had been relegated by sneers and disgusted mutterings to shadier places. Accordingly to his increasing state of smelliness.

He was hungry.

Maybe staying in the hospital and dealing with the militaries would have been a better idea?

No. Despite his gnawing hunger, he simply couldn't imagine facing them again.

_ Hey, kiddo! You don't look too good.

He turned toward the man, unsure whether he was the one being talked to. Warily, he stepped forward as the man urged him closer.

_ Don't worry. I'm not gonna lay hands on you. Kids are not my gig and you've got nothing I could steal. You hungry?

He nodded and was offered a piece of hard bread stuffed with a greenish slice of ham. It looked like about to give him food poisoning. As he stomach growled, he decided he did not care much.

And even if worst case scenario he would die from it, it wasn't like he would be missed.

pickaboo

Somehow, the man had decided to extend his protection to him. He taught him some of his favorite bins. Those most likely to contain something edible. He also showed him how to protect himself against the artificial dew and where to sleep.

Was he really that pitiful that a homeless pickpocket had decided he was to be protected?

_ Today we're gonna walk a bit. There are rumors of a charity sent shipment of necessities decking in the port. If we're here early, we might get you a pair of more fitting shoes and I need to refill my supply of soap.

Given the man's smell, it had been a long time since he used up his last piece of soap. Not that his own scent was much better he amended.

pickaboo

He was dead.

Knifed for a bar of soap and a match box.

It had happened so fast, he couldn't react.

No, that was a lie. He could have reacted, as soon as the goon came in, he knew it wasn't going to end well. And he froze, terrified by the violence he knew was coming. Terrified that he knew for certain that it was coming.

The man, Jeff, told him it wasn't his fault, as he was bleeding out in his arms. That there was nothing he could have done except suffer the same fate.

He knew it wasn't true. That his body had been ready to meet violence with violence even before the goon fished out his knife from a pocket.

And it was terrifying. For the first time he wondered : who was he? Who had he been?

For the uniforms to interrogate him?

For having no one visiting him, no friend, no family?

For having that contained violence burning in his veins?

What kind of bastard had he been?

He had heard of the terrorists endangering the colonies, of the different military factions warring against each other. Had he been one of them? On which side?

It was raining, why was it raining? They were on a colony. Was the irrigation system so messed up they resorted to the sprinklers to water the crops?

It reminded him, colorful walls, blue sky, blue eyes squinting behind dripping bangs and a wry smile: "Well, that was a drench!" Warm, burning, whisper: "Hanata".

Blue, blue eyes. Full of stars. Cold. So cold. The empty, full of stars. Drifting and debris. A brighter, much too close, much too bright star. No, a lamp. Metal, gigantic arms taking him away. Away from where?

"Trowa? Trowa!"

He jerked out of half remembered memories, rêveries? The young woman speaking to him had green eyes and auburn hair. She seemed to know him. She felt... reassuring, vaguely familiar.

Strangely, 'Trowa' really didn't feel like his own name. Was she mistaken? Maybe he just looked like that Trowa. Didn't matter, she was taking him with her. And he didn't want to be left alone with his fuzzy memories and that violence under his skin.

Someday she, and the people she has led him to and all called him Trowa too, would realize he wasn't their lost friend. That he wasn't the Trowa they had been looking for.

For now, he would just appreciate what he had while he had it.

* * *

_Slow._

_Way too slow. Sorry._

_October's workload was hectic, and November doesn't look any better._

_I'm still not done with our boys._


	20. Chapter 20

**Trowa Barton - AC 195**

* * *

_Hanata..." Warmly whispered against his ear. Dark blue eyes, sparkling in the sun's gold light.

_ Hanata!" A dire warning through clenched teeth. Impetuous eyes through a black fringe. Fear, trepidation, the taste of blood and the smell of death.

A loud bang, close by. He jerked in reflex hands flying to his ankle. To fetch... what?

_ Trowa? Trowa! It's Ok, just the engine having a hiccup.

Green, worried eyes. Catherine. He remembered. The Circus. They were... on L3, or L4? L4, they left L3 the previous week.

This name, Trowa, still felt foreign. He wasn't getting any more used to it than the first time she called him. Catherine, she asked him to think of her as a big sister, though, felt strangely reassuring, sometimes there was that fleeting sense of belonging when he was near her.

Maybe it was just a trick of his mind, her fierce protectiveness added to his own need to cling onto someone. Maybe there was something real.

She asked him to see her as a big sister, he didn't ask and complied; it felt right to do so.

Once, he overheard the boss talk about a younger brother she lost while they were kids, Trowa would have been his age. Maybe she too needed someone to cling onto.

He had been fretful when she first brought him to the Circus, certain that someone would discover him for the fraud he was, but they all seemed happy to welcome him back. A few of them asked news about a couple people he seemingly had brought them before. Their names hadn't felt familiar either. Then Catherine had chided them all and no one ever spoke about those boys again, or anything not Circus related.

That had convinced him he might be their Trowa : how easily he fit in their routine, how well the needed actions to set up the camp came back to him. His head was a mess, but his body remembered.

Actually, his body remembered more than he cared for. Some of his reflexes were downright scary. Like when he tried to reach for a gun, near his ankle while waking for an explosive sound.

He was pretty sure it was a gun his hand had flied to. And the brief wary look Catherine had given him wasn't meant to ease his mind.

It didn't matter. His past, whatever terrible thing he might have done, (because what normal fifteen year old boy was so used to carry a gun they would reach for it in their sleep?) he was done with it. The Circus has provided him a new life. He wasn't going to be a fool and leave that for a scary life filled with guns and cold death.

...

Who was he trying to kid? He wished he was ready to shed this terrifying skin and leave it all behind. But he wouldn't dream of those blue eyes every night if he had nothing to return to. It was the only bout of memory that did not make him fell like he was freezing deep in his bones.

Friend? Family? Lover?

What did Hanata mean? Was it his real name?

pickaboo

Time passed, the dreams had started to fade away. He wasn't sure whether he was glad the last thread to his terrifying past was vanishing or annoyed to lose yet another memory. He already had so few of them.

Not that he could do anything about it, either way, and not focusing while doing acrobatics on a tightrope was recipe for disaster.

He had been told, in his previous sojourn with the Circus he had been Catherine's target for her knives throwing act. Now, she was adamant he didn't. He hadn't insisted much. Too afraid his body would react and throw one back before he realized what he was doing.

Trapeze and tightrope, or a mix of the two suited him well. He was agile, and had the necessary strength. And he quite liked to see the world from above, to hear the gasps and claps of the public when he was performing a tricky one. There was thrill in defying gravity, a safer one than whatever landed him on a military hospital.

Probably?

pickaboo

Gundam?

What was it? In Catherine and the manager's mouth it sounded so ominous.

No. He did not want those terrifying memories to come back.

If only those warm blue eyes were there. Maybe.

He had already forgotten, what shade of blue?

pickaboo

Three hours later, he was still shaking from the encounter.

That boy... all his instincts had been screaming at him to get away from him as soon as he heard his name be called out. He wasn't sure why.

He had looked and seemed friendly enough, apparently happy to seem him.

But there was something in him, the way he spoke, the way he moved, his whole demeanor screamed 'FAKE'. Layers upon layers of deception. To hide how much he reeked of death.

Whoever he was, that boy was dangerous. Because deep down, Trowa knew.

How similar they were.

* * *

**Duo Maxwel - AC204**

* * *

_ You're not going to pretend you didn't say it today?

Duo's hand fell from his cheek. So that was what had Trowa bothered?

Oh... he was so going to make his lover even more bothered then, and hot. Definitely.

_ If you ever think about running away, you better do it know Trowa Barton." He warned, voice lowering, almost menacing, climbing onto Trowa's lap. "Cause I'm fed up loosing what's mine, or letting what I want to keep slip my grasp before they become mine. And, today, I intend to make you mine. All of you. So run, now, or you're gonna get burned.

From this up-close, it wasn't easy to miss Trowa's pupils dilating, or his quickness breath. Could be two kind of reactions, scare or arousal. Two courses of actions to take : flight or fuck.

_ Please do.

With a breathed whisper, Trowa grabbed the back of his head and crashed their lips together. The kiss wasn't sweet, or nice, and nowhere near slow. It was all teeth and bite. Duo's body boring into Trowa's lean frame, pinning him to the bench. Marking his claim.

Somewhere, the kids were eewing and the grocery owner corralled them inside his shop.

His fingers tugging at Trowa's short hair, his lover's hand pushing on the small of his back, Duo didn't care. It felt too good to stop. He wasn't sure how he managed to calm down just enough to growl against Trowa's lips.

_ You. Me. Bed. Now!

But Trowa shook his head, too far. He guided Dup back on his feet and, taking his hand, dragged him toward the bakery. Or more likely, to Duo's dismay, the bakery's back alley.

Not that he had never done it, share handjobs, blowjobs or even a quick shag in back alleys. With guys whose names he rarely bothered to ask for. This...

This was Trowa there. Him, what they shared, didn't it deserve more than a crappy wall in a smelly dingy shadowy alley?

He didn't have time to voice his reservations before he was pulled between lean, firm tights leaning against a slightly less crappy wall than he had suspected.

_ I'll admit, not the best surrounding, but I. can't. wait.

And it was more mouth pilfering, and fingers digging in his hips, and urgent, shallow, grinding.

_ I want you to keep your promise." Those words, said with urge in Trowa's smooth voice, added to the very explicit way his leg wound up behind Duo's back, were almost enough to provoke Duo's utter undoing. Good thing Trowa's grip was firm, or his knees wouldn't have been enough to keep him upright.

Between pants and kisses, it took a while for Duo to tell Trowa he needed to turn around.

ultimately, Trowa did, his pants were opened and Duo fell to his knees. He was going to get started when a finger poked the side of his head. In the hand, a small square packet he took.

_ Lemon scented refreshing towel? Where did you get that?

_ The shuttle lunch tray. I didn't have time to shower today.

_ There's alcohol, it's gonna sting.

_ Better that than gross you away.

Duo let his forehead lean against a very well formed cheek and huffed a laugh, touched. Then let his hands and lips travel up along his lovers spine until he was molded against Trowa's back. His clothed crotch against naked ass.

_ You really are the sweetest. Makes we want to tie you to bed and never let go.

_ Less talking, more moving." Trowa growled, pushing his ass into Duo for emphasis.

Duo grinned and kissed his neck before sliding back down.

And made Trowa mewl. As he promised. Until His tall lover decided it wasn't enough and urged him to take thing more seriously.

_ You sure?

pickaboo

Yes, Trowa had been sure, very sure. From behind first, in an awkward position due to their height difference that Duo would have never been able to hold (perks of dating an acrobat) then facing, Trowa's legs wound around Duo's waist and torso his back full of scratches from the wall.

Actually, Trowa already knew quite well how he liked to be taken : sharp and shallow thrusts, deeply buried. Long thrusts felt 'weird'. And that bothered Duo a bit.

So, instead of being blissfully asleep in his bed, his lover peaceful by his side, Duo was wondering.

From what little Heero had let slip about his and Trowa intimate life, Heero was pure bottom. And they were supposed to have only known each other.

So, when and how Trowa did learn how he liked to be taken?

Why did he hide it from Heero?

Not that Duo was going to ask. It concerned a relationship that was already over, but... if Trowa had lied to Heero, what was telling he wouldn't lie to Duo, someday?

_ I can hear your brain running wild from here.

Duo almost jumped to the floor. Had that crafty bastard learnt from Heero how to fake deep sleep well enough to fool Duo's senses? Or had he been too deep into in own head.

_ Du-oo..." Trowa sing-songed to him with a flick on his side.

No more hiding, no more runing. Duo breathed.

_ How did you know?" Trowa raised one eyebrow. "How you like to bottom?

The light was dim, only coming from the outside's nightlight. It was all the more annoying that Duo could clearly see that Trowa had hoped he wouldn't catch on that particular slip.

_ Once, I slept with... another guy. Spent the night with him.

_ Why did you hide it from Heero?

_ He knows. He knew when I... planed to do it. He didn't want to let me, obviously. Until we had no other choice.

_ Sounds ominous.

_ I was underage, it was the safest, and quickest way to get rid of that man's interference.

_ Safest? Because you knew what kind of lover he was? You knew he wouldn't rape your ass raw if he realized you were setting him up? Safe for who exactly?

Duo took a deep breath and tried his best to calm down. He had a really bad feeling that he knew who had been the 'interfering man they needed to get rid of'. And from Trowa's surprised expression, surprised and a bit annoyed, he didn't understand why Duo was getting worked up.

Given their issues, Trowa probably didn't know about Heero's nightmare.

_ If I had been him, I wouldn't have let you take that kind of risk. Not with the way Bauer had been looking at Wufei the entire time.

Duo had never been able to forget, that dangerous mix between lust and disgust. Like he wanted both to fuck the hell out of the Chinese boy and behead him as the same time.

Trowa straightened his stance, gently rubbing Duo's arm. Trying to sooth him the way he probably did when his Tiere were upset, Duo noted bemused.

_ It's OK Duo, nothing bad happened. And it was a long time ago.

Maybe it was, for Trowa. But Duo still sometimes woke-up with that burning sensation of suffocating. And he was ready to bet Wufei did too. Even if the bastard would probably never admit it to anyone.

And Duo knew, it wasn't for Heero.

_ He's still having nightmares about it." Duo finally admitted. And Heero can threaten to kill him all he wanted, later. That needed to be said. "Heero. He still regrets letting you literally risk your ass for my sake.

This time it was Trowa's turn to sight, deeply, hiss hands hanging between his knees.

_ Did he... did he tell you? I mean... You didn't know I haven't always been faithful until know...

_ His drawings told me.

Duo winced at the almost wounded look Trowa threw him.

_ He... stopped burning them.

He got up and went to his drawer.

_ Nope, but he never objected when I flipped through those drawings as he made them. And he only agreed for me to keep the one I wanted on the condition he'll never have to see them. It's not about Heero not wanting others to see those drawings. He doesn't want to be reminded of it.

And the nightmares that prompted them in the first place. To Duo, or anyone who would look at them, it was just pretty drawings. To Heero, it was painful reminders.

Duo handed the folder he had hidden under his rarely used winter clothes to Trowa and went swiftly back under the cover. Low temperatures and nakedness didn't get along well.

Five sheets in.

_ Not what I expected. It's so... nice actually.

_ Heero rewrite his nightmares with nice stuff instead.

He only got a nod in reply. Roughly, it took half the folder for Trowa to state the obvious.

_ There is no picture of me there. What's that supposed to mean?

Duo flopped on his back and with a one handed vague gesture encouraged him to keep on going through the folder. Trowa would reach the sub-folder with all of 'his' drawings. The sexy kind, only of Trowa.

There had been one, only once, who did not picture Heero's one only love. Duo only got a glimpse of an half finished, half crossed off drawing (like Heero had only realized mid-way what, or who, he was drawing and hadn't liked it) before putting that sheet back in the trash pile. Neither never said anything about that naked hip with a too distinctive set of moles to be random.

It was not Duo's business anyway.

_ Ow...

Sounded like Trowa had finally reached the good stuff. One Duo liked most was a Trowa, all naked glory and inviting, sprawled on his back onto a nest of overly large pillows, orient-style. Sexy as hell.

Heero might have less sex appeal than a sea-cucumber, he knew how to draw smutty stuff.

The folder, now nicely closed, ended back on Duo's stomach.

_ Does Heero only draw me in that kind of surrouding, or are those only the ones you prefer?

_ Mostly, first answer. I might have seen some of you in a space suit swimming between stars a couple times, though. Barely sketched. I believe it's those that hurt him them most.

Trowa grimaced, he knew where those came from. Not that Heero could have done anything to avoid that tragedy. Quatre blowing up Trowa. And very nearly do the same to Heero right after.

Somehow, Duo suspected Heero had regretted he made it through that predicament alive for a long time.

_ It wasn't his fault. Quatre... We were together trying to get him back to his senses. It happened to be me, it could have been him as well.

_ I believe he wished it had been him. And he had been the last one to know, when Quatre and I found you.

_ Duo." Trowa gave him a meaningful look, not what that was supposed to mean, but still... "You. You found me.

_ And Quatre was the one who managed to reach you.

Trowa stared some more. Enough to almost make Duo uncomfortable. Until he made up his mind.

_ Once, quite a while ago, I asked Heero what he was seeing in you. Why, he liked you so much.

Well, that was going way away from anything Duo might have expected. Especially while they were both naked in bed.

_ Lemme guess, my incredible smile and wits." As usual, Duo tried to pass off the self-consciousness with some joke. Trowa gave him a funny look.

_ He said you were genuine.

To that, Duo had nothing to say. His mouth was too busy gaping. 'Genuine' was like at the bottom of the list of possible qualifiers for him. Trowa huffed a laugh.

_ Exactly what I thought at the time. Then I got to know you a bit better during the years. And... that night.

Yeah, Trowa didn't really need to tell which night, Christmas two years ago.

_ I'm glad you kept on coming to the circus, even when you weren't really welcomed. Now, I understand what he meant.

_ Please enlighten me. Because I don't.

_ You're always true to yourself. No matter how much posturing you pout on, you always act according to you feelings and conviction. You never shied back from standing up to us when you though we were being unreasonable.

_ Not that I had much luck getting you to listen." Duo muttered sullen. He remembered a couple punches he got for speaking up, that was not fond memories.

_ You were the most level headed of us all. I would apologize, but I don't think it will change anything now.

Duo flipped a hand again, no, it was way too late. Didn't matter anymore. They both grew up since, they were different people, mostly.

_ Anyway," Trowa went back on track. "That's what I love about you too.

This time, Trowa decided to fill Duo's gaping mouth with his tongue and it was a brilliant idea. It might at least give Duo time to recover without being under his lover's scrutiny.


	21. Chapter 21

**Duo - AC204 June**

* * *

The folder was put back at the bottom of a drawer, the subject was closed. They didn't talk anymore about Heero or the war.

They spent the next two days between the Circus and wandering around. It was nice. To watch the artists in training, to spend down time with his lover. It was _lover _now.

But it seemed that it was still bothering Trowa. It was subtle, but Duo could see it, the way his eyes were wandering, as if looking for something, some_one_, when Duo was just right there.

Like now, as they were enjoying a drink at the terrasse of a cafe near Duo's shop. Might not help that it was the one Heero had gotten used to bring him coffee and cookies from. But by now, Duo was addicted with their white chocolate blueberry cookies.

Trowa sighed, fingers playing with the rim of his iced-tea glass.

_Trowa is more the tea guy._

They just knew each other so well...

_ I know internationally famed scientists have a busy schedule, but I wish Heero hadn't made appointments right when I was there. When did he say he'll be back?

Duo wasn't sure whether he'd rather gape or frown. A couple seconds later he smoothed it all out and mulled his answer.

_ He didn't say anything about coming back." Duo stated softly, piecing his cookie into crumbs. "He didn't give me much of a warning when he decided to leave either. He was just like ; OK Duo, I'm gone in two days. See ya, maybe.

Trowa frowned, his long fingers wrapped around his emptied glass. Only the ice cubes were left, melting.

_ Besides, knowing about, and approving of, his ex's new relationship and _witnessing_ it are two different things. Of course he wouldn't want to stay and watch from the side. Even if he still love us." Duo shook his head, eyes on his mostly finished coffee. "Especially if he does and doesn't want to grow into resentment.

The silence from the other side of the table stretched, add some. Until Duo looked up to see just a glimpse of utter disbelief before Trowa regained part of his composure and downed his drink. He looked angry.

Duo felt his heart squeeze, he hoped it wasn't against him.

Then he fished his com from his jacket and pushed exactly three dials. From where he was, Duo could here the ring tone, four times, before Heero's surprised voice answered.

_ Hanata? Something happened?

_ When are you coming back?

Apparently, somehow, Trowa was angry at Heero. Duo was at loss.

_ I don't know, there are a lot of things to discuss, we're going nowhere about the power system. I... We might not be able to...

_ You _are _coming back.

It wasn't really a question. And it made Duo a bit angry too. It wasn't Trowa's place to decide who Duo hosted or not nor what Heero had to do with his life. He had lost that right when deciding they could no longer be together.

On the other hand, Duo selfishly did wish for Heero to come back. Despite knowing how awkward it would make things between the three of them. He had gotten used to having his friend home.

Heero didn't answer.

_ Tell Duo he should trow away the tofu if there is still some left. I've got to go.

_ Torii...

Heero had already hung up.

Trowa looked about to cry.

Duo was so at large he could have been in the middle of the Pacific, on a raft with no sail.

pickaboo

Afterwards, Trowa had a long conversation with WuFei over the com. One Duo hadn't been privy of. Not that he truly wanted to. His relationship with WuFei was still uneasy.

It did remind Duo of a thing his mind still had trouble processing.

_ I'm still stumped that Heero agreed to become a Preventer. I remember him being so adamant he wanted to stay away from all this after Mariemaya. And why would they give him such a rank?

Fucking _General_.

_ It's more like he didn't give them a chance to refuse." Trowa's laugh was a soothing balm on Duo's nerves. Maybe he had chosen the right subject to lighten the mood, just a bit?

_ Do tell me. Everything!

Well...

_ All that's not under the 'super top secret, you'll end in some black site for the rest of your life if you heard of it' seal." He amended with a face.

_ That would mean I can't tell you anything.

_ You're not Preventer, that I know of... What gives you clearance I don't have?" Duo mock-pouted, but was really curious about it.

Maybe he shouldn't have asked, Trowa suddenly looked troubled.

_ Technically, Heero and I are still married. That was the only way I could be given some of the clearance." He disclosed with careful words. "As Heero had been filed as Odin Lowe Junior, not many people know the General in charge of the Investigation Branch is an ex-terrorist.

_ For obvious reasons." Duo finished, trying hard not to think that, 'technically' Trowa was cheating on his husband with him. Making Duo 'the other guy' even more so than he ever imagine. "I'm not even supposed to know that much, am I?

Trowa shook his head.

_ Did I put Leo in trouble, now that he knows?" Duo couldn't help but worry about his friend.

Trowa didn't know, but WuFei probably made sure it wouldn't be a problem. Apparently, he was good with making problems vanish, kind of part of his job. Duo really didn't want to know.

_ So, how did that happen?" Duo settled on his couch ready to listen to juicy gossip.

_ When the Preventer were created, they decided to recycle the former Alliance's military network systems. They also, for reasons you might get, needed to re-secure the whole lot.

Yeah, Duo got those reasons, almost all of the joint staff had been relieved of their duties. They knew the passwords, all the ways in and might harbour some vengeful dreams.

_ Then, one of their young officers said he knew a guy who could do it, and they hired him.

_ He did say WuFei came to him for a tech job..." Duo couldn't believe his ears. They asked _Heero _to revamp their whole network security? God, were they nuts?!

Still...

_ He can't have withheld the access until they agreed to his conditions. They would have counted that as blackmail, or even an act of terror and send him in jail, or worse. Not catapult Heero fucking Yui at the head of their organization.

_ He gave them everything, even the code is open source. But they couldn't find one tech who could handle the system's maintenance.

Duo would be ashamed to let Heero ever know it took him almost a full minute to get what Trowa meant.

_ Lily." Damn Pagan, he'd bet the old man hadn't kept his doll just to make tea and type his memoirs. And Heero hadn't given it to him with innocent purpose either.

_ And Trio." Trowa agreed with a proud smirk Duo wished to kiss away from his lips. "Actually, there are three more.

_ Including the Preventer's mainframe?

_ Yggrasil. Yes. The other two are ships. One belong to Quatre. The other is Preventer property, but her allegiance is to her maker. I don't know much about their respective abilities or purpose. You'll have to ask Heero himself if you want to know more. I just know none have the empathy Trio showed.

pickaboo

Two days later, as he booted his laptop to check his orders, Duo got a mail from Heero asking for him and Trowa to be available the same evening. Duo wished it was consecutive to Trowa's short call, but the curt wording, curt even for Heero, implied otherwise.

And it prove true soon enough, as the call chimed through Duo's laptop speakers. When he accepted the video conference, it was to face two frames : one with a small elderly woman, her younger assistant and Heero with Trio on his lap, the other was showing a young team of people with white coats.

Duo was glad Trowa was currently shoulder deep into the fridge, so he would have time to get used to the idea they wouldn't have any kind of heart to heart today either.

Heero didn't wait to do the introductions, adding Trowa as he came into the frame. Duo didn't bother to commit the names to memory, the group of youngsters were biologists specialized in biology and petri-culture and the elderly with her assistant a nanobots engineer. One was to make Trio function, the others to give him a semblance of humanity.

At first, it looked like Heero only called as a courtesy, mainly to choose with Trio about the physical attributes they wanted him/her/them to have.

Then the young team went to their study and cut out the communication. And the real problem came out, they still hadn't figured out how to sustain Trio, power wise.

Batteries were both too unreliable on the long term and not powerful enough to both provide the needed energy and last for a life time. Doubling them would make it too heavy and produce way too much heat. The possibility for a nuclear core had been brought up and discarded fast. Too risky, any leakage might endanger too many people coming in contact with Trio.

Most of the conversation was flying way over Duo's head. Too technical, too far fetched or leading-edge for his understanding. He wasn't ashamed of it, it simply wasn't in his field of interest, but it did feel nice to notice that sometimes even Heero was lost by the elderly woman's quick fire of suggestions Trio (or, Duo suspected, the collective mind of Trio and his 'siblings') discarded almost immediately.

_ In summary, you want a reliable, self regenerating power source." Trowa cut in, his patience apparently having worn too thin.

Heero nodded.

_ The simpler the sturdier. Dynamo and systems like self winding watches are those who had proved to be the most reliable through time. It's pure mechanic so as long as no component breaks, it can basically last forever. And we know how to make unbreakable metallic pieces.

Duo hid a smirk with a bite of ham Trowa had brought from the fridge. The elderly looked offended by the simplicity of Trowa's suggestion. Heero already had that thoughtful frown that said he had adopted the solution and was searching for ways to adapt the systems to their particular subject.

_ We could magnetize the cooling fluids, combine dynamo with magnetism... It would require an awful lot of them and interfere with external sensors, though...

There was more rambling before, after and in between. Those parts, Duo understood though. Everything else...

And once again, it was Trowa who gave the answer. Offhandedly. It reminded Duo of the time WuFei told him how well those two worked together. It was more than that, it was like Trowa knew exactly when to nudge Heero the right way. Why did they break up again?

_ Is Trio always that glued to you?

The question startled Heero at first. Then he laughed, because 'of course'.

_ Hanata, I don't know what I would do without you.

_ Run in circles and bang your head against walls." Trowa answered drily.

Then Heero hung up the call, already turning to the engineers by his side, bright with excitement. That call should be ranked in the top ten weirdest call Duo ever got. Or remembered at least.

He turned to Trowa.

_ 'Of course' what?

_ He doesn't need to add magnetic property to Trio's cooling fluids, they'll already have iron in the bloodstream meant to sustain its skin. Added to our own ironed blood, Trio could recharge by hugging any living mammal.

_ And it can also serve as feeling receptor.

Trowa nodded, a faint pleased smile on his lips. Duo frowned, suddenly suspicious.

_ You had the answer even before the call didn't you?

It was more than a pleased expression on Trowa's face, he looked positively smug now. He leaned over Duo, eyes sparkling and offering him a very nice angle on his cleavage. He had a very sexy cleavage, Duo mused...

_ Now he'll remember why he should come back home.

And Trowa lightly kissed him before heading to the bedroom, shedding his clothes on the way.

Duo loved when his lover was in a good mood.

pickaboo

Duo was humming, sore and content, while flipping pancakes for the 3 o'clock afternoon snack. Trowa had been home for a whole fortnight, minus his working hours. Duo's last project was going well and would be finished soon and Howard called to say he would get by in a couple weeks.

He was happy, cooking nice smelling food for his ever hungry lover. That's why he only uttered one small stream of curse words when Trowa's unexpected question made him grab the wrong end of the ladle, burning his hand int the process.

The question was : Why didn't you sleep with Heero?

_ The fuck Trowa?!" Then Duo winced, the choice of word was highly unfortunate. Trowa wasn't looking at him but counting on his fingers.

_ He came to your room, in the middle of the night, snogged you to your bed. Spent the whole night there, and you didn't take him on the offer. What held you back?

Duo could have answered Trowa he kind of forgot to take into account the tiny fact that Duo might not have been interested. But Trowa knew him well enough, Duo had been interested, for years. He had admitted it, one drunken night.

_ He wasn't interested. Not that way." He finally said, truthfully, after two more pancakes flipped in complete silence. He got an incredulous snort in return.

_ What more did you need? Duo?

That was getting annoying very quickly and his good mood flying away by the open window with no hope to return soon. He banged the plate of perfectly golden pancakes on the table.

_ And why does it matter to you, whether I banged your ex or not? Or why? And for the record, you should know when a guy want someone, there's that little thing that happen, called a boner.

_ He never told you?

Told him what? Once again, Trowa looked baffled, then mostly dejected.

_ Told me what Trowa? What's the matter there? I mean... I was serious, the day you arrived. I have loved Heero, and I ... kind of still do. He's my friend. But you are the one I want to keep going on with. I. Love. You.

He had found his way to his lover, put two heavy, grounding, hands on his shoulder. Trowa nuzzled against one of his wrists.

_ I know Duo. I know. Sorry, I shouldn't have asked.

Duo wanted to encourage Trowa to ask more often for the things he wanted to know. But this? He still couldn't understand.

What was the point in making him believe, or realize, he missed his chance with the one guy he thought he could never get over with? It was too late anyway.

* * *

**Trowa Barton - AC195**

* * *

He had come, and he was gone now. The boy, he though he has named himself 'Duo', had come back a few times, always after the late show.

Never daring to come too close or be seen by Catherine. She had scared him too, she could be very aggressive and she obviously tried to hide that side of her from him. Any kind of violence actually.

Like she was afraid he would start a rampage or something.

She knew things about his past she was hiding from him. He knew she wished to protect him but it was a bit annoying too. His dreams had come back after the boy's, Duo's, appearance. Blue eyes who called him 'Hanata' and that 'Duo' were now both part of it. And it didn't make him feel good. Other than the usual coldness and terror usually brought by the dreams.

Sadly, or luckily?, Duo had disappeared before he could muster either the will or courage to go ask him about that past.

That's why, when a few weeks later a blond boy about his age came by and called out to him, Trowa (since it seems to be his name) didn't skip the chance to follow him.

The boy's name was Quatre and Catherine looked at him with the same angry eyes she used on Duo.

He loved Catherine, she had been very nice to him and was grateful for her, and the whole circus's, help and shelter. But he was recovering, albeit slowly and couldn't stay behind, mothered and sheltered, when boys his age, boys he has apparently fought besides, were still risking their lives to protect the colonies.

It was his turn to protect his adopted family.

_ Sorry Big Sis.


End file.
